Even with strong self esteeem we are vulnerable to love being bad for us.

Honoring oneself is very difficult because we can fall in love SNAP. But to know if it is a positive love, or a self-damaging love -that is the greatest vulnereability ever.

Talk to a friend in trouble. Don’t beat him up for bad decisions and rationalizations – hold him up and tell him, trust me friend – because if you can’t trust yourself right now – you need a friend. Trust me to be there for you until you can be there for yourself! … Love your friends, take a part in their lives actively – but don’t be afraid to risk it all and say – your happiness is more important to me then your state of relationship. So him/ I don’t know enough. But I know you are miserable and that is my single greatest concern dear friend. . .

This is it, I’m finished. I wish a friend had taken me aside – but by the low depth of the bottom I had to hit before he beat me, threw me into a wall and cracked my head open destroying thousands in antiques where I fell – I got up and threw him out – and realized I’d pushed myself away, all my friends away – and this was the moment when I reclaimed my life.

Bankrupt, friendless, and devastated. At least I could start again. I did, and it’s been tough. And I have spent up to 3 years with one friend regaining his trust. It was not easy – it isn’t easy yet, and it’s okay that it will take more time. I took 6 years ignoring my friends. Now they are teaching me trusting takes time, and is earned. I’m earning it.

Been there
Done that
Read and wrote the book
Did the movie
And the mini-series on tv
and it was still lousy

BUT I picked myself up
dust myself off
and ready to start all over again.

It’s nasty – and it’s different for everyone.
No fool like an old fool.

Oh, he’s in jail for preach of parole with assault and battery. 3.5 years. I saw him at 300 pounds. He was bi – polar and beautiful — but when treated he was down to earth, easy going, fat – and I didn’t trust him a second. I didn’t relish his karma, I don’t dispice him, I just don’t want to be friends with him until he at least shows some remorse and repays me with a bottom line figure of $8000. He knows it. And it ain’t gonna happen. I’m safe now. I won’t let it happen again.

Cheers