Today I read some rather disturbing advice on "homemade sex toys" for masturbation. Admittedly, it turned me on a little, because it encouraged straight dudes to stick things in their asses. This would all be extremely hot if those objects didn't include chopsticks, toothbrush handles, pencils and the aerial of a phone.

I understand that we can't all keep dildos in our bedside drawers, but these objects should not be considered an alternative. Even though they may be able to stimulate your prostate, the sharp edges can damage your inner anal cavity and potentially cause bleeding. And unlike a dildo or actual penis, these objects can't bend ever-so-slightly to accommodate your inner "curves". Imagine the difference between a smooth piece of rubber poking you versus a pointy piece of wood. It's just not sexy. Either buy a dildo or find some cock to ride, but for the love of the Manhunt Serviceman… please don't stick random foreign objects all up in there.

- Dewitt

I love me some Lady Gaga and one of my favorite songs from The Fame Monster album is “Teeth“. I was stoked when a friend sent me this video featuring two incredibly hot guys lip-synching to “Teeth”. The whole vampire theme they have going on is hot and I was expecting one of the guys to go down on the other one. Sadly that didn’t happen but there was a lot of neck kissing and ear nibbling. Wow, that totally just gave me a boner.

- Andy

To watch the video, follow the JUMP:

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Calling all fat cock lovers! If you like a thick shaft that'll stretch your lips, then you should probably meet Ted Colunga. Before you even see the monster that rests between his thick hairy thighs, this guy is already giving off a dominant top presence. If I ever saw him in person, I'd drop to my knees before he even said a word. 

Hopefully, he'd take the cue, whip out his hard dick and slap me in the face with it. I can't even handle the beauty of this man-meat. It's not just the girth that makes me twitch down there. From the mushroom head to that slight upward curve, Ted's equipped with all the tools that'd make me call him "Sir". 

- Dewitt

Photo credit: Men Machine

To check out what Ted's packin', follow the JUMP:

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You may or may have heard of Daren Kagasoff, but after these pictures from VMAN magazine I bet you'll at least remember his bulge… whatever that's worth. For those of you who don't know him, he plays the bad boy on the obnoxiously titled The Secret Life Of The American Teenager, a teen soap.

I've never seen the show but if it ever involves Daren in his underwear (I highly doubt it) I'll have to start tuning in. Despite playing a teenager, Daren in actually 22 and quite the young stud!

I love a man who can fill in his Calvin Klein undies, now if we could only get rid of them…

- Andy

Photo Credit: Heidi Slimane

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Highly suspicious! Our Weekly Top Ten rankings went under a curious transformation in very little time, resulting in superstar Alicia Keys getting bumped from the number three spot into dangerous territory. The other four artists who made up last week's top five have kept it strong, with Ellie Goulding rounding out the new line-up.

It could be worse for Alicia. She could have been placed in the same situation as Dangerous Muse, Adam Lambert, Peaches and the Sugababes. These four didn't quite make this week's cut, and hopefully we'll be seeing them all again with different songs. The xx, Three Days Grace and Gucci Mane didn't even get a chance to compete, as they were all eliminated in the Wild Card round. And in the case of Gucci Mane, he was really eliminated. 

If you're new to the Weekly Top Ten, stop looking at porn for a second while I explain the rules. Each week you'll be presented with ten songs. You get to vote for up to three moving to the next week. From those results, we'll take the five tunes with the highest percentages, a song we saved and four other contributions. These selections will make up the following week's charts.

So how do you get your favorite song on the list? I can tell you one thing–it's not by complaining. If you don't like what you see here, leave a comment with your suggestions for next week. We listen to nearly every song you recommend, and if it makes us tingle in our no-no places… you might see it here next time around!

- Dewitt

To check out the charts and vote, follow the JUMP:

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