Two amazing asses rest before your eyes. By the end of this post, which one of them will be full of dick? On the left, we have Sage Daniels, a tattooed bad boy with a pair of lightly hairy, spankable butt cheeks. Directly next to him is none other than Jesse Santana, another tattooed bad boy with messy hair and several piercings.

These guys appear in the latest episode NakedSword‘s Golden Gate, the first offering from the highly-anticipated second season. Here’s the general premise! Jesse plays the part of Gene, a squeaky clean power-broker with a talent for reading his clients. However, he may have a bit of a challenge with Tim (aka Sage Daniels), a sloppily-dressed millionaire.

How does it all pan out? Who winds up fucking who? And why do these men ever bother to wear clothing? Click through to unravel a few of these mysteries! Keep in mind, one of them may be a trick question…

- Dewitt

Photo credit: NakedSword

To find out who’s the bottom in this scene, follow the JUMP:

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There aren’t many secrets I keep from you, so let’s just cut right to the chase–I’m absurdly horny right now. Taking that into account, it may be dangerous to make over-the-top declarative statements about a beautiful men. One’s judgment can be clouded when they’re under the influence of a blood rush to the nether regions…

Even so, I’m pretty sure Julio Capeletti is the most attractive man who ever existed. Looking at a picture of him is extremely baffling, since you’re not really sure where you should be looking. The scruffy, handsome face? The sculpted torso? The bulge in his undies? The booty in the back? It’s a good thing I’m safely seated in my desk chair right now, because I’m seriously this close to fainting from overstimulation.

- Dewitt

Photo credit: Ramón Gellida

To check out more of Julio Capeletti, follow the JUMP:

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Diego is fucking huge. Not in the typical “big penis” kind of way we’re usually talking about. He’s literally just a massive, muscular man. You can tell he’s proud of his bulging biceps and overall beefy goodness, because he exudes a certain cocky confidence in his solo clip for Next Door Male.

We’d normally consider this guy to be far too arrogant or conceited, but you really can’t help getting drawn into his seductive charm. Hell, even if you think he’s totally full of himself, you still want to pound his brains out and put him in his place. And considering he has a big round ass that’s simply made for fucking, it’s a win-win situation for everyone involved.

- Dewitt

Photo credit: Next Door Male

To check out Diego’s hot ass, follow the JUMP:

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If you managed to make it past James Franco‘s ass cheeks on last night’s broadcast of the Oscars, then you may be aware that Colin Firth took home the award for Best Actor in a Leading Role. His portrayal of King George VI in The King’s Speech clearly won over the Academy, but does his British charm win over your pants?

On an entirely unrelated note, can we talk about the UK Naked Men scene that was filmed on the same set as The King’s Speech? Though we realize this news is so last week, the ass-pounding action between Carioca and Kurt Rogers deserves its own special recognition… Especially since Colin Firth stood in the same room. The same room they jizzed all over. Think about it, people!

- Dewitt

To watch Colin Firth’s acceptance speech and cast your vote, follow the JUMP:

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Okay, we get it! Lady Gaga‘s music video for “Born This Way” came out today. We were going to hold off until tomorrow to write about this, but clearly the world can’t wait for a post on “the manifesto of Mother Monster”. Not even kidding. There were at least ten or twelve messages about this in our inbox. Two of them were official press releases from different companies. Essentially, this is kind of a big deal for some people…

We’ll let you do the talking for this post. It’s not like we don’t have our own opinions about Gaga’s latest effort. We’ve just learned it’s best to keep them to ourselves, since both the fans and haters are especially vocal groups. So what do you think? Did this video exceed or fall short of your expectations? And how did you feel about the conscious nods to Madonna at the end of the video?

- Dewitt

To watch the music video for “Born This Way”, follow the JUMP:

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