March 24, 2011

Have You Ever: Fucked Yourself With A Weird Object?

We don’t recommend shoving strange objects into your ass. What may seem like a totally hot idea could result in some dangerous consequences, such as a sharp edge damaging your inner anal walls. Not to be a buzz kill or anything! For your own safety, you should stick with actual sex toys.

With that said, many of us haven’t followed these rules. Between pure curiosity and desperate horniness, it’s not entirely unheard of for a man to push a vibrating toothbrush into his hungry hole. Or even the handle of a bike wrench. You name the object, somebody’s probably sat on it… So what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever stuck up there?

– Dewitt

Photo credit: Drake Rock

To watch Hunter stick a wrench up his ass, follow the JUMP:

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96 Comments - View all

wantgs 5:09pm on June 12, 2011

banana, meat sausage(real one) carrot cucumber and high lighter

  • A flashlight, a glass beer bottle, and once I backed that azz up on a doorknob. (Hey, I disinfected it after, okay?)

  • Jay

    when I was a teen and curious, I stuck with the handle of a razor and then moved onto the electric toothbrush (those were hot times riding on that thing). And as I got used to it, I tried the neck of a beer bottle (also hot). And when I got a little full of myself and abilities, I tried a cucumber. Now THAT took some time to work in. Fortunately I got a job and earned enough to buy some actual toys

  • Omgzitsstefan

    There was this nasty bitch I went to school with…She got fucked with a squigee, and masterbated with an egg wisk. True.Story. Thus the name: Friskywhisky was born.

  • Allen

    My first time experimenting was with the handle of a screwdriver and copious amounts of hand lotion… worked out well until it was time for removal. You see, my hands were covered in lotion, making it almost impossible to remove the slick screw driver. Thankfully I was home alone (I was 16 at the time) and was able to run to the bathroom and wash everything off and relax enough to remove the screwdriver.

    Now that I think about, I think I just washed that thing off and put it back in the toolbox. My dad might STILL be using it. LOL

  • Guy

    ^Oh my.

    This guy is crazy hot.

  • Bill

    I’ve used a carrot before lol, fat end first, that’s about it.

  • Jaiblade4211

    I once used a rose quartz crystal wand on a FB. Don’t recall ever using anything like that on myself though.

  • Dave

    Plunger handle heh

  • Tadius111

    Does a hard rubber Nazi officer night stick count?

  • Nex

    i fucked myself with all sorts of weird things i can’t even remember them all now.

    the most weird thing i fucked was probably a self-made penis. i made it out of candle wax. made it pretty big too hehe. then i put it into fridge to cool. when i got it out at night i couldn’t be bothered to wait and used it straight away. that was a pretty ‘chilling’ experience. didn’t use it again lol.

  • 03103

    A thick hammer handle is about it.

  • Sam

    Rexona Men 250mL deodorant can. Multiple times.

    Good times!

  • sin30

    Hm I’ve used a meat pounder (the rubber end). Worked really well actually. haha A chess piece (king), a toothbrush carrier (they’re pretty much shaped like a dick but thinner), and a miniature baseball bat made of plastic.

    There are probably others but I am already embarrassed enough.

  • Tom in STL

    When I was in college, I wanted to get myself “prepared” before getting fucked by an actual cock, so I used a variety of objects of graduated thickness. The final object before getting to the real thing was an umbrella handle. It was a straight handle, not a rounded one, but it did have the wavy grip, which felt awesome!

  • Cam

    I’ve fucked myself with candles, tyre pumps, paint brushes…. but my biggest claim to fame is one of those wooden things in bathrooms where you put a few roles of toilet paper. This thing was about 18 inches high and I managed to take half of it before it really started hurting. Made for some pretty damned hot orgasms, I’ll tell you. Man, I feel horny thinking about it. 😀

  • Sunrise2249

    should have disinfected it before hand

  • LoveGame

    I once got a plastic pill bottle up there (cap removed). Then I panicked, worrying that I wouldn’t be able to get it out. Should’ve thought it through! Fortunately I was able to push it out pretty easily.

  • OpenWide

    Once when I was out of my mind on drugs I let a guy fuck me with a bottle of creme de menthe.

  • Glass Bottle, electric razor (one of the ones that vibrate :P). Could never bring myself to put something that goes in my mouth near my butt.

  • MarshallHolman

    Cutco makes a spoon with a great handle. I think it’s called “VERSA LOCK” grip. MMmmmhun.

    Also I love the big peppermint sticks at christmas time and used them on a few guys. No complaints yet.

  • Back in the 70’s there was a toothpaste that came in a dildo-shaped, hard plastic container with a flanged base (can’t remember the name). I used the empties on my ass many times!

  • christiansworshiptheSun

    id love to fuck someone with a carving knife or something, or maybe an umbrella – one of those press the button ones and open it up deep inside them,
    maybe a cactus,
    or a candle, turn them upside down and light it so melted wax dripped down inside them
    or an electric egg whisk, push it right in and turn it on

  • Josh

    hm… carrot, handle of a vibrating toothbrush, jones soda bottle, and on one very memorable occasion, a maglight.

  • Cuteman43

    Dave already mentioned this but the plunger handle that I used was clear plastic and the one end was screwed to the plunger. So unscrewed it. The other end was shaped with like 5 knobs in a row. That part of it really did look like a begainers dildo. I am sure some of you could think of things to screw on the other end and really have a fun toy to play with. Best thing about it was it was only $1.49.

  • PhillyDegz

    that’s brilliant! I used to work for cutco and I had definitely thought of sticking a few of their products up there

  • Paulpoochie

    I live ina fairly rural area and grew up on a small farm but since I’ve grown/aged and live in town, I recently bought a 3′ length of “tractor chain” which has 3/8″ links to it. It weighed over 4# at any rate.

    I covered as much of the length as I could with a 2ply layer of condoms secured with rubber bands to prevent the links from pinching and damaging my most sensitive and crucial parts. Then I lubed up fully after getting clean and inserted half that chain -link by link – then walked about with the other half swinging between my legs — The tug of the free half was incredible as well as the sheer freakishness of the whole idea — I showed it off that night to my FB at that time and it turn him on even more than it did me 😉

  • ///

    the thick end of a pool cue, handle on a screwdriver

    …conclusion: actual sex toys work better.

  • alaskaman

    haha…love this. When I was a kid,my drumsticks were the first thing, assorted vegatables, tools from my dads toolbox, toilet plunger(in a condom) , ends of different size fishing rods(in condoms) then onto the real thing, and several toys. Been a horny fucker all my life….;)

  • joesph90

    used my ass as a pencil holder,managed to get about 15 in one go
    also had a novelty match which was about 18″ long wiv a big red head on it that felt gr8

  • redb45

    The handle of an ice cream scoop

  • wantgs

    banana, meat sausage(real one) carrot cucumber and high lighter