Bi The Way: Robin Thicke & Paula Patton

My attraction to Robin Thicke baffles me. Sure, it’s well-established within the media that he’s a legitimately “sexy” person. But I can’t look at his face without humming the Growing Pains theme song. The whispery tone of his vocals irks me, whilst simultaneously making me want to finger-bang myself. He’s got an okay body. Yet it’s nothing so remarkable that I should be lusting after him uncontrollably.

Keep in mind, I’m the type of person who likes everything from twiggy cock sluts to dudes with love handles. You don’t have to be a frickin’ Adonis to get in my pants. There just needs to be something about your body that makes certain parts of my body go, “Ooh, I want that!” As it goes, Robin Thicke does not possess that something.

And yet I still want to do him. His latest video “Love After War” had me sitting in my desk chair, biting my thumb and bobbing up and down like I was riding an imaginary dick. He oozes so much sex appeal that I can tune out the Growing Pains theme and fantasize about all the hurts-so-good pains he could be giving to my butthole.

Also, his wife is hot. This is coming from a one-hundred percent gay man, who’s never touched a lady down there. However, I would go down on Paula Patton faster than you can say “that weird episode of Growing Pains where Kirk Cameron dresses up like a mouse and has a tea party”. For that reason, and that reason alone, these two deserve a place in our Bi The Way series. Indulge me on this, and I’ll make it up to you later tonight.

- Dewitt

To see more pics and watch the new video, follow the JUMP:

I apologize that there are more pics of her than him, but…

She’s fucking beautiful. Deal with it.

Now, a music video!