Who The Hell Won?: Week Of 2/27/12

I’m not sure what he won besides the “Looks Good In A Spandex Tank” contest. He’s definitely fantasizable. Welcome to “Who The Hell Won?”! It’s the feature where you find out who won in all those irritating polls we run during the week! I kid, I kid. Interactivity is funz! Click past the break and find the answers!

- J. Harvey

Would You Hit That?: Jonah Hill Gaining Weight Back At The Oscars

Is he releasing a folk album? There was little surprise in the fact that 59.06% of you wouldn’t get anywhere near Jonah Hill’s nethers. The 7.53% of you who would are obviously gold-diggers or have some interesting sexual tastes. Goblin-fuckers.

Fuck Vs. Fuck: Three More Threesomes

Does anyone else find that pic super-hot? That’s a whole lotta sexual. Dewitt has been using a lot of threesome scenes for “Fuck Vs. Fuck” lately and needs to keep it up. The more cocks, the merrier. 39.56% of our readers found the Johnny Hazzard, Aitor Crash (love that name) & Gio Cruz trio to be the sexiest film fuckers.

iPhone Wars: Battle Of The Boxer Briefs

Our readers were slightly disappointing in this round of “iPhone Wars”. True, Contestant D is hot and a valid choice for the win. But why couldn’t we for once let the scrunchy faced ginge cutie garner some glory? Firecrotches need encouragement and love, too!

Who Would You Rather?: Snooki’s Alleged Babydaddy Or The Guy She Was Doing Before

Last week’s “Who Would You Rather?” was one of our more interesting ones. This is because one of the choices, Emillio Masella, Tweeted about us and even sent us in some additional pics of himself! However, the Tweets didn’t work in his favor. Snooki isn’t the best accessory – because 49.09% of you said you wouldn’t fuck EITHER guy. Ouch. Fake tan, ‘roids, and a trashy slut girlfriend = not a good look.

The only thing to offer here about Darren Hayes is that I love the Savage Garden song “Truly, Madly, Deeply”. I know it’s a big slice of cheddar, but so be it. Darren’s been solo for a while, and we asked you what you think the openly gay singer is up to in the bedroom. Dewitt was right. 50.9% think he’s a total bottom.