I Am In Love With Joey Camasta.

I was going to revive the Secret Sex series to declare my love for Joey Camasta, until I realized that there’s nothing secretive about the sex I want to have with him. I’d shout it off a rooftop: “I want to lick Joey Camasta’s ass! I want to fuck Joey Camasta’s ass! I want to sit on Joey Camasta’s big gay face!” And all of these things would be true.

You see, the only thing shameful about my attraction to Joey is that he will be appearing as Snooki‘s “gay meatball” on Snooki & JWoww, a spinoff to the questionably popular “reality” TV show Jersey Shore. I really don’t give a fuck that, as JWoww so elegantly put it, “he opens his mouth and rainbows come out”. That’s actually hot to me.

While Joey’s inclusion might not be enough to get me to tune into Snooki & JWoww, I will most definitely pray for the show’s success. Joey deserves to be famous, because he’s hot in a way that isn’t currently present in mainstream culture… Or something like that.

In conclusion, if you’re reading this, Joey, please feel free to send me pictures of your butt. Alternatively, you could just contact us for an interview. Also, I should give you fair warning that I’ll be sexually harrassing you on Twitter this morning. Also, marry me?

- Dewitt

Click through to see more of Joey:

On the cover of the now-defunct HX magazine:

In this picture, you can see why him and Snooki would get along:

Meet Joey and Joey:

See Joey’s (unfortunately censored) butt: