The Locker Room: Matthew Mitcham

Matthew Mitcham is cute, has an intense swimmer’s bod, and he’s openly gay. You could totally get with him! You could be the one he gives the soaking wet hug to when he gets perfect scores for his diving! Actually, back the fuck up! It’s going to be ME, damn it! I alone will celebrate his hot Olympic diver twink realness with him. Wait – who’s this bitch? Lachlan Fletcher? You and your stupid name can just shut up and unhand the twink! I’ve already purchased a wedding suit, copious amounts of lube, and I am expecting a DEEP discount on Speedos!

Moving right along…the gist of this post is that Matthew Micham is a hot Olympic gold medalist diver from Australia. My apologies for the outburst, Lachlan Fletcher. Jealousy is a helluva drug.

- J. Harvey

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