Let’s Get Kinky: Five Reasons Not To Go Into The Woods

Bound In Public’s new video (“You Shore Got A Purdy Mouth, Boy”) is a cautionary tale. The title may have already conveyed that. Turn the “squeal like a pig” scene in Deliverance up to 10, and substitute sexy waif Logan Stevens for Ned Beatty (thank you for that, btw). The thing in the woods you should be afraid of isn’t wearing a hockey mask. It’s a hillbilly in fatigues and he’s brought his friends!

Here’s why you lock your doors if you break down, and you don’t say anything flippant to the good ole’ boys hanging out by the moonshine still:

1) They will strip you, tie you up, and stuff you into a duffel bag. They will then drag your squirming, protesting body deeper into the woods.

2) They will rape your face multiple times, with multiple dicks.

3) Brace yourself. This one is the worst. If we were going by severity of the violation, this would be #1. THEY WILL BURY YOUR HEAD IN THE GROUND, LEAVING YOUR ASS DEFENSELESS FOR GANG FUCKING! (How did he breathe? Damn!)

4) They will spank you on all fours, and force you to eat multiple asses. Rim fiesta!

5) They will hang you up in a net upside down with just your head sticking out so they can ass and face fuck you some more and finally blow multiple loads on your mug.

Bound In Public ain’t playin’. For the first time, I’m REALLY happy for that last bit where they interview the model and he assures us he loved it. UNLESS THEY FILMED THIS OUT OF SEQUENCE!?!?!

- J. Harvey

Photo credit: Bound In Public

To check out a clip from “You Shore Got A Purdy Mouth, Boy”, Follow the JUMP: