The “Real Man” Project: Colby Jansen
When we decided to make The “Real Man” Project the first of our “theme” months, one name immediately popped into my head to interview. Colby Jansen! He’s gorgeous, very manly, and a rising star in the gay porn industry. Despite being fairly new on the scene, he has already done several vids and worked with Men.com and Kink.com. Colby’s also a former Marine and semi-pro rugby player, and is currently pursuing a masters degree in business.
From the few e-mail and Twitter exchanges I’ve had with Colby, he comes across as extremely-down-to-earth, sweet, and very funny. Something else striking about him is the woman he’s married to – popular transsexual porn performer/director/producer Gia Darling. The lovely Gia was the 2006 AVNTranssexual Performer Of The Year as well as being inducted into the AVN Hall of Fame in 2011. The “fuck you if you have a problem with our love” openness with which Colby celebrates his marriage in interviews and on his Twitter exemplifies what I myself think is a required component in a “real man”. As well as a hairy bubble butt. I know it’s shallow, but real men need to have a hairy bubble butt. I’ll accept “shaved” if it’s a work requirement. Just have a big ass. Colby qualifies!
- J. Harvey
To read our “Real Man” interview with Colby Jansen, Follow the JUMP:
Colby began his replies to our questions with a little bit about how he got started in the industry:
In your email, you referred to her and me as a “porn power couple” – which kind of cracks me up because she was a big star for many years and I’m just sort of getting my feet wet. It’s been something that we had talked about when we got together, but basically I was on the fence on whether or not I wanted to go full on in the gay porn world. So, we decided last winter that we should, “go big or go home” and with her support, I decided to put myself out there.
To start things off, and keeping with our theme – what do you think makes a real man?
My opinion of what makes a real man? That’s a question that can be answered with many clichés, but I’ll try to do my best to avoid that. I guess in my own opinion, a real man is a guy who is honest, stands up for what he believes in and shows up for whatever his job or duty calls for, regardless of whatever else is going on. He’s prepared, willing to work hard and even if things don’t go as planned, he hangs in there when lesser men would quit. John Lennon said life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. So with that in mind, a real man has to be self-aware, adaptable and honorable. Porn was a main part of Gia’s and my life when we were dating, but I certainly didn’t think that it would be a viable career option for me. However, it’s something that presented itself and I’m certainly not ashamed that I do it. It’s taken me a little bit to get to the mental state I’m in, but ultimately, the decisions I make are my own and that makes me a real man.
[Ed. note - To preface this next question, J. Harvey was under the impression that Colby was straight and just gay-for-pay. Much to my delight, that isn't exactly the case.]
What is it like for a straight man in the gay porn game?
Well, this is a funny question for me, as I’ve met quite a few straight guys in the gay porn scene. The question is how straight or gay are all men in reality? A guy who identifies as 100% straight still gets hard at the thought of another man’s hard cock going into a woman, so there is some level of bisexuality in the most straightest of men. I still don’t fully understand my sexuality, but I enjoy the experimentation that goes along with porn. Ultimately it’s a job, we’re engaging in gay sex on set, but it’s not a dating service and doesn’t alter the way I go about sex in my private life. That said, I think it’s fairly obvious that I quite enjoy it!
The most awkward thing for me because of my gay porn career is in the straight world of the sport of rugby union. I’m now the go-to guy for all my straight friends to “come out to”. I can’t tell you how many super masculine guys I know that have come up to me in private and told me how they support me and then go into stories of the nsa blow job they received in college from their RA; another guy told me about how when he was stationed overseas that received head from a person of questionable gender identity; or the guy who told me of all the gay sex he had engaged in with other Marines when he was at Camp Lejeune, NC. It’s actually inspiring me to come forward more publicly and talk of my own private sexual path. Doing so could possibly help a young person who is similar to how I was at that age, maybe just to let him know that he’s not weird and he’s not alone.
What is it like falling in love with and marrying a trans person?
Well, falling in love with a transsexual was something that I didn’t set out to do; I had baser intentions during that time. However, when I went out with Gia for the first time, she stole my heart. I had not intended to have my heart taken like that, but before I knew what happened, I was deeply in love with her. When we got together, she was pre-op, which means she looks like a girl in every sense, except she still had a penis. Then after we were together for a while, she expressed her need to fully transition. She had her surgery to complete her transition and I nursed her back to full health. When she finally healed up, we were legally married. The love we have isn’t about what’s between her legs or about what we do in the bedroom. It’s about friendship, trust and sharing in moments of happiness, sorrow and everything in between – sharing our lives together fully and honestly.
Colby went into further detail as to his sexual preferences:
I’m not exactly straight, but I’m not exactly gay and I’m not totally bisexual. I am a sexual being, I enjoy new experiences and I don’t think that I should deny myself of sexual pleasure based on the way I live my life 9 – 5. I play and watch sports, eat carbs and read nerdy fantasy books and comics. I golf all the time (not very well, but I’m improving), listen to heavy metal and lift weights. I hang out with my wife & two dogs and we make love at least every day when I’m home. I also have sex with men on and off camera (women too) and I REALLY like doing it. I certainly enjoy sex and that’s why I have a lot of it, but of all of those things I mentioned, sex makes up a small fraction of who I am and how I spend most of my time off camera. So, it’s frustrating to me when someone calls me a fag on the rugby field because of her gender dysphoria and my porn career. Do I let it bother me much; not really, there are idiots all over the world. The most annoying part of people not understanding my sexuality is when my gay friends tell me how I should identify; how my sexuality is a cop out and I am really gay and I need to break up with Gia. It’s ridiculous to me how guys assume they know me because they’ve seen a picture or video of me having sex with a guy. Orgasms and sneezes involve almost the same muscular reactions, but we only have guilt trips and issues about one of them.
Big thanks to Colby for speaking with us. It was a personal triumph for me seeing as I have a ginormous crush on his hot ass. That Gia is a lucky lady. For more on Colby, check out his website and follow him on Twitter!
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