Hunting Season: The First Date

Have you caught up on Hunting Season, the best new web-series about a guy named Alex who likes sucking dick? It’s okay if you haven’t! We just watched the third episode today, and things are really starting to heat up.

If you haven’t already done so, you should “read” our recaps of episode one and episode two. Better yet? You should watch them first at huntingseason.tv and then “read” our recaps.

The next episode premieres tomorrow night, and we’re looking forward to what happens next! More accurately, we’re looking forward to how many shots of Alex’s ass will appear in the next clip. Seriously. We can’t get enough of Alex’s ass.

- Dewitt

Click through to watch the third episode and view our recap:

The third episode begins with a shirtless shot of Alex. Obviously. He’s trying to decide what to wear on his date with Lenny, that guy he met at the bar who didn’t bang him in the bathroom. Guess what? He’s also horny!

For those of you who aren’t familiar, this is what an enema bulb looks like. Alex is about to stick it up his butt, because he doesn’t want Lenny to pull out and have a bad case of poop dick. This is very considerate of Alex. Bottoms should always douche before the first date.

Let’s talk about how Alex is so concerned about douching, yet he failed to clip his toenails! What if Lenny had a foot fetish? How would he explain those talons?

Lenny shows up with a rose! Because he’s not like the other horny bastards out there! He’s totally romantic and stuff. Remember? He didn’t bang Alex in the bathroom at a bar.

This is the face of someone who hates flowers or doesn’t know what to do with them. I know because I’ve been there SO MANY times! You have to be like, “Um, thanks! I’ll put these in water.” And then they’re dead a week later.

Just kidding, you guys! Lenny is a horny bastard. He wanted to stick it in the moment he saw Alex at the bar, but he thought he’d pretend to be a gentleman and ask him out on a date.

HOT!

Less hot when you notice the painting on the wall, creepily watching from above!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled recap to deliver this very important message: Lenny has a nice ass. He looks like a terrible top, but damn, that man has a nice ass.

I was trying to get a screen-cap of Alex getting fucked, but he was getting rammed too hard. Everything was so blurry! Ben Baur, the guy playing Alex, is a great actor when it comes to sex scenes. I almost believed Lenny was actually inside of him.

Apparently nobody sent the memo that Lenny’s a terrible top, because Alex is having the time of his life right now. This sex is so good (for him) that he cums in less than two minutes… Premature ejaculation is the sexiest, don’t you think?

This is the face of a man who just came inside of another man. Don’t worry! I’m pretty sure it’s implied that he grabbed a condom beforehand.

Michael Richards? I didn’t realize you were on this show! I’m surprised someone hired you after that racist rant.

Oh wait. That was just Lenny with sex hair. There’s really no excuse for this screen-cap, other than Alex’s butt. The boys decide to wipe off with a towel and head out to dinner.

Do you think Lenny’s versatile? I’m asking for a friend. <– This is a lie. I’m asking because I want to jizz on his back and call him dirty names while doing him doggystyle (not necessarily in that order).

The boys are an hour late to dinner. This doesn’t make sense, since it literally took them three seconds to have sex with one another. Either way, the restaurant won’t let them in, so they wind up at a Mexican restaurant with a bunch of annoying girls.

Best line of the episode: “Toast to the douchebags! Bang it out, baby girl!”

Second best line of the episode: “Did you just FART?”

The date is sort of awkward. The location isn’t exactly desirable… But Alex’s smile is still fucking sexy. Have I mentioned before that I want to jizz on his face and pound him like a whore?

Lenny talks about some boring stuff. He’s trying really hard to make the best of a bad situation. It’s sort of endearing!

Afterward, Alex refers to the experience as “the hottest sex and the worst date”. As someone who has had hot sex and atrocious dates, I’m a bit offended by this statement… Have you ever walked into a bar with a guy and had him immediately state that everyone there “looks like they have AIDS”, Alex? If not, I don’t ever want to hear you use the phrase “worst date” ever again.

Everyone’s always blaming the enema bulb. Leave the enema bulb alone!

They don’t ever properly introduce characters on this show, so I’m just going to refer to this chick as “Hey Gurlfriend“. She is the best character on this web series! She references Golden Girls and acknowledges that Alex’s date was not, in fact, “the worst”.

Alex’s only attractive friend, Tommy, offers up different advice about Lenny. He believes the boys should pursue a fuck buddy relationship with one another.

Tommy also hates flowers. If flowers were people, he would hate crime them. Violently. This is the part of the episode where Tommy acts like a total cunt nugget.

Tommy points to this cute chubby dude with bushy eyebrows. He says something like, “That’s the sort of guy who brings flowers on the first date.” What he doesn’t realize is that this guy is a millionaire with a giant penis, and I’m going to have sex with him tonight (not really).

Tommy has a total crush on this older guy. He’s practically finger-banging himself at the thought of that DILF dick stuffed up his butt. He has a major heart-on for men over forty. Apparently.

Yet he bangs bespectacled twinks? Right after insulting them right in front of their face? I don’t get it.

Alex is a dumb-ass, so he takes Tommy’s dumb advice and tries to hop on Lenny’s dick again.

But wait! Lenny has art on his walls! Maybe he’s actually deep and interesting…

Lenny confirms that he is, in fact, deep and interesting.

Alex is essentially in love with Lenny now. Troy Daniels and I are having a double wedding with these guys, and “Hey Gurlfriend” is going to come and throw rice at all of us.

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WATCH IT:

Get the uncensored version at huntingseason.tv!