Gay Ass Gossip (Hurricane Sandy Edition): Joe Simpson Really Embracing The Gay Thing

Recently, Jessica Simpson’s mom Tina filed for divorce from her husband of 34 years – Jessica and Ashlee Simpson‘s father (and manager) Joe. The picture above illustrates why. Girlfriend came out. Girlfriend came out of the closet HARD. Girlfriend came out of the closet so hard that all the windows in the house exploded, the bird feeder caught fire, and Jessica actually started losing that baby weight.

According to several gossip sites, Joe has fallen hard for a West Hollywood-residing aspiring model/actor (aren’t they all?) named Bryce Chandler Hill. Word is that Ms. Hill is using Mr. Simpson to kitty claw his way to the top of the showbiz game. Poor Joe. A coming-out-of-the-closet midlife crisis is hard enough, but then you’ve caught a floppy-haired, gold-digging twinkie buttplug that’s pulling the Fleet box over your eyes about how sexy you are to him. Joe, you need to stuff that 40-something ass into your new skinny jeans and run! RUN!

What do you think about Joe’s new look?

- J. Harvey

For pics of the gurl Joe is supposedly exploring his sexuality with, Follow the JUMP: