This is a bittersweet moment. The first season of Hunting Season (that’s a really awkward way to start a sentence) has officially come to an end. As much as I love writing these recaps week to week, they make it difficult to find time for blogging about dumb (hot) things like Jude Law‘s thighs and Nick Offerman‘s mustache.
But, fuck, I’m going to miss this show!
Not just that, but I’m going to miss the overwhelming support I’ve had from the cast and crew. They’ve given my life meaning with their praise, retweets and (occasional) flirtatious comments. For serious, there isn’t a single person involved in this production who I wouldn’t perform oral sex on. I love them all. With my penis.
While we’re talking, I’d also like to state that I love ALL OF YOU for supporting me in this endeavor. Major props go out, additionally, to J. Harvey for blogging his ass off when I couldn’t get recaps up on time. Everyone is wonderful. In fact, I’m so full of love right now that I feel like someone slipped a quaalude into my lunch…
If you’d like to see a second season of Hunting Season (still awkward), I highly recommend that you go here to buy the uncensored episodes. Making a web-series doesn’t come cheap, and they need our support to make another season happen. Here are some additional ways you can help:
“Tell your friends. Post about the show on Facebook. Post on our Facebook wall. Post on LOGO’s Facebook wall. Tweet at @HuntingSeasonTV. Tweet @LogoTV. Make as much noise as you can. We still need more people to watch the series for the first time. Web series are different from regular TV and it lives longer online and takes more time for people to find us. And we may ask for your help later. But we’re trying to get it done for you!”
There you have it. Now, get your dick out and read our recap!
Click through to watch the episode and view our recap:
After having “the talk” with Lenny, our slutty hero Alex isn’t really sure what to do with himself. Should he call Lenny and apologize, or should he pursue Reese full-time? Or should he give me a call, so I can jizz on his face and pound him like a whore?
This is Alex not calling me. What. A. Cunt.
Raise your hand if, while Alex was scrolling through his phone, you paused to look at the names! Just me? When I saw the name “Les Voorhees”, I totally thought it was “Lark Voorhees“. It’d be totally awesome if Alex were friends with Lisa Turtle.
Instead of calling Lenny, Alex sniffs cocaine with his best friends. Um, cool.
I mean, it’s not 100% certain that they’re doing cocaine! They could be snorting bath salts or Pixy Stix dust? If that’s the case, I really hope TJ eats someone’s face by the end of this episode… Especially if it’s just Pixy Stix dust, because that would be amazing.
“I’ve got something to say!“ is basically what Tommy is saying in this picture. He tells Alex that he should just give Lenny a handjob, and then everything will be okay.
But Alex is all like, “I don’t think it’s gonna be that easy. He thinks I’m not up for anything serious.”
Nick states the obvious: “Because you’re NOT up for anything serious”. Nick is the best, because he’s judging everyone about everything. He’s sort of like me… Only maybe cuter?
I’m not sure when this happened, but TJ has suddenly become the Samantha Jones of the group. He says something really perverted about Reese’s ass. What a perv! I would never even think half of the things TJ says out loud…
Here’s Nick rubbing cocaine on his gums, when he should be rubbing my semen on his gums.
Tommy reveals the name of the big party they’re going to: “Younger Than Jesus“.
“They don’t let anyone in over 33″. <— This is all you need to know. I’m sure Tommy explains other stuff here, but I was too busy staring at his crotch and wishing my nose could find a home in his bush.
This is exactly what Alex needs! He’s been having far too little sex with the two guys he’s been dating simultaneously, so naturally, it makes sense for him to go to a sex party and bang ten-million dudes. I guarantee he’ll be getting double-penetrated by the end of the night. I guarantee it.
“I’m not going unless someone fists me!”
Nope, that’s not actually what Nick’s saying. He doesn’t want to go to this sex party at all, because he’s no fun, and he hates having STDs.
Okay, but really, when did TJ get this sassy? I’m loving it.
This screen-cap is for my masturbational purposes.
Lenny texts to ask Alex what he’s doing or something. He lies and says he has food poisoning, so he can go get double-penetrated and bang ten-million dudes. Logically, his next step is to ask Tommy what he’s going to wear… To an underwear party. Where people wear underwear.
TJ is VERY excited about the Magic Bullet.
This is the Magic Bullet. It’s literally just a pair of white boxer briefs. Nothing more, nothing less.
Tommy’s friends are just as confused as I am about the Magic Bullet.
Tommy models the Magic Bullet to prove that he’s not clinically insane. He looks very good in those regular ol’ boxer briefs, but he’d look even better if they were on my bedroom floor (and he was lodged balls-deep inside of my butthole).
This screen-cap is for my masturbational purposes.
This screen-cap is also for my masturbational purposes. I want to sew my face onto Tommy’s body, because I’m jealous of his chest/tummy hair pattern. Seriously, Marc Sinoway! Watch your back (and every other part of your body). I’m coming for you, with a thread and needle in hand.
“I’d hit that,” is basically what everyone’s saying in this screen-cap. They now understand the power of the Magic Bullet.
Remember this chick? She was the best! Her name is Lizzie, and she wants Alex to meet her new boyfriend.
Foreshadowing! From the moment I saw Lizzie’s boyfriend, I could tell you that he loves to be fucked up the man-cooter. This man is straight-up fellating his ice cream cone.
Not so surprisingly, Lizzie asks Alex if he thinks her boyfriend is gay. He lies to her, and then he asks her if he has a big dick.
Then he says, “GET IT!”
Nick pulls Alex into the bathroom to discuss his concerns about the sex party. He doesn’t want to take his shirt off, because he hates his body… As usual, Alex is an insensitive prick, and basically tells him to nut up or shut up.
Told you so. Lizzie’s boyfriend is totally gay for cock. He shakes his dick more than twice in Tommy’s direction, but Tommy isn’t taking the bait. Even though he’s an asshole, he’s not so much of an asshole that he’d fuck his straight friend’s boyfriend in the bathroom.
And now we’re at a sex party.
This is the part where I want to kill myself, because why is Nick worried about his body? His abs make me look fat, and my body type is most akin to Skeletor. Also, that chest hair! I want to nuzzle my nose against his chest hair and talk about unicorns. While drilling him. Up the butt.
Obligatory dick shot, just so we know for sure that it’s a sex party.
Alex is like a kid in a candy store! He’s overwhelmed by all the dicks that he can wear in his mouth. So many dicks! So many dicks for his mouth!
This is not Photoshopped. This is literally a screen-cap of Alex making the exact same facial expression in the opposite direction. In fact, I think it’s the exact same shot, flipped to make it look like there was additional footage? Sorry to ruin the illusion for all of you.
As Alex is strolling through “Wonderland For His Prostate”, he runs into his old friend Lenny. His old friend Lenny who was told he has food poisoning.
Lenny doesn’t actually care. He was just looking for a butt to lick, you know?
Alex makes up some lie about arugula, because he fails to realize no excuses are necessary. He just needs to bend over and let Lenny lick his butt, and all will be forgiven.
A handsome stranger approaches Nick. He is surprised by the attention.
And then they make out. “Otters” need love too.
TJ is occupied with a skinny blond twink. Everyone is getting laid tonight. Everyone.
The Magic Bullet is clearly working for Tommy! He’s about to get his hole drilled by an absurdly attractive muscle bear.
But neither of them has a condom!
Oh look! Reese is at this party too. How convenient.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ALEX? Lenny left to get drinks, and he was going to lick your butt when he got back! You are violating all the rules of sex party butt-licking. This is not acceptable. This is not acceptable at all.
And there’s Lenny. He was hoping to get a tongue full of butt, and now his cum whore is making out with another cum whore.
Uh… What’s about to happen here?
Whoa! Is Lenny about to steal Reese from Alex? That’s so fucking bad-ass.
For fuck’s sake, I’ve been waiting for this threesome to happen since the third episode! Thank the lord of cock. I told you there’d be double penetration in Alex’s future.