Hunting Season: Y R U SO VANILLA???
I’m starting to wonder if I watched the wrong version of Hunting Season this week, because the sixth episode was completely devoid of dick and/or ass. What a fucking travesty! Alas, it shows my devotion to this series that I can sit through ten minutes of Ben Baur (above) not being naked. I actually care about this show… Which is weird, because I generally don’t care about much of anything.
What the sixth episode lacks in nudity, it makes up for with a plotline about kinky shit, underwear shopping and (spoiler alert) singlets. Go watch it right now! Once you’re done, let’s meet up later tonight to braid one another’s pubes and chat about fetishes over naughty cocktails.
Click through to watch the episode and view our recap:
The sixth episode begins with Alex reminding us that he takes occasional breaks from dick juggling to write on his blog (at work). Um, am I the only one who notices that he wrote six entries over the course of three months, yet he’s apparently getting linked from Fleshbot and The Sword?
I’ve included this screen-cap so you can click and read Alex’s post “Lenny III“, which is surely the reason for all 4,523 hits on his blog.
This is Alex pretending to type.
Lenny wants to have dinner, but Reese wants to have sex. Oh no! What’s Alex going to do? Stay tuned in to find out.
Alex is upset by some of the comments on The Great Cock Hunt. If he thinks “BORING!!” is bad, he should read some of the comments on Manhunt Daily where readers have told me to kill myself…
(Wow, this post went to a dark place.)
“Y R U SO VANILLA???” asks YummySlut. This question haunts Alex like the ghost of Rock Hudson, who haunt-fucks me every night before bed (and proceeds to haunt-spoon me until I fall asleep).
A character who I’m pretty sure is legitimately referred to as “Straight Sales Guy” comes into Alex’s office to talk about how he jizzed down his girlfriend’s throat in the back of a cab. This seems like sexual harassment, but I guess it’s okay if Alex likes it?
Straight Sales Guy’s girlfriend or lady-sex-friend hates his underwear! This leads to a cute montage where Alex takes Straight Sales Guy shopping for a new pair of briefs, set to the sweet sounds of Andrew Doriane‘s hit single “Juman”.
Just kidding! It leads to this lame scene where we don’t even get to see Straight Sales Guy’s bulge.
HOW DID HE GET DRESSED SO QUICKLY??? Y R U SO VANILLA???
Straight Sales Guy seems uncomfortable by this whole underwear shopping experience, so he hands Alex his chosen pair of undies and walks around the corner. Then, since Alex isn’t creepy AT ALL, he sniffs his coworker’s underwear in the middle of the store.
Question: What straight man would ever shop for underwear in a store as gay as this? Is he picking up the latest style from Andrew Christian? Perhaps a pair of jock briefs? Maybe he should just skip it all, and wear her panties?
Please take a moment to appreciate this genius GIF I made entitled “Notes of Cock”.
It’s become apparent that it’s a “thing” for characters on this show to sit on a bench and talk about their feelings. Alex reveals to Tommy that he sniffed Straight Sales Guy’s underwear, and he was so turned on, because he has a fetish for underwear.
Tommy is all like, “Bitch please! Underwear isn’t a fetish. You know what’s kinky? Getting fucked by a clown. Also, I like peeing on guys. LOL.”
(Note to readers: Tommy doesn’t actually mention clown fucking, and you should go here and follow actor Marc Sinoway on Facebook. This has nothing to do with clown fucking. I just promised him I’d mention it, and I’m mentioning it ’cause I want to suck his dick.)
And then he wondered…
::looks at camera like Carrie Bradshaw in the first season of Sex and the City::
“I guess I is pretty vanilla”.
Just to put things into perspective, Alex turns down sex with this guy to have dinner with this guy (who’s actually quite attractive when he’s not making this face).
When this scene opens, Lenny is telling a story about artists who put lightbulbs up their butts. I would gladly stick a lightbulb up Lenny’s butt, and by a lightbulb, I mean “my penis”.
Alex casually asks Lenny if he has any fetishes, then takes a sip of white wine. Middle America, this is exactly what gay people talk about during dinner! Always.
“I want to poop in your mouth,” Lenny replies.
Just kidding! He’s into wrestling.
This was obviously just an excuse to get actor Ben Baur into a singlet. I AIN’T MAD AT NOBODY FOR THIS.
UGH, I HAVE SUCH A BONER FOR SHORT GUYS. Watching this scene was incredibly frustrating, because I spent the whole time wanting to jizz on Alex’s face and pound him like a whore! He’s so tiny and cute. I just want to hug him. And throw him around in the bedroom like a rag-doll.
I guess I should have mentioned that Lenny’s not just into singlets, he’s into wrestling. I’m hoping this ends like a scene from Naked Kombat…
The funny thing is that actual wrestling is gayer than this.
Surprise twist! Lenny throws Alex onto his back, he dies, and the rest of the episodes will occur in heaven.
Just kidding! He’s totally okay.
But he hates wrestling. Lenny will just have to find a trick on the side to fulfill his need for spandex and choke holds. Might I recommend a site for that?
Watch more at huntingseason.tv!