I Can’t With Humanity: The Justin Bieber Blow-Up Doll

The “Just-In Beaver” blow-up doll is a thing.

*depressed stare*

Why?

Oh, and here’s the description:

Meet Just-In Beaver, the barely legal boy-toy who’s waited 18 long years to stick his lil’ dicky in something sticky! When he’s not busy beating up paparazzi or beating off, he’s up to his high-tops in hot Hollywood tail! But the Beave-ster doesn’t have this effect just on women — he turns straight men gay faster than you can peel his skinny jeans off! So what are you waiting for, inflate this lil’ pricks’s ego even more and have your very own Beaver bash!

Is there some sort of station I can wait at for the next lunar shuttle that’s taking off?

I never in a million years would think I’d feel pity for Justin Bieber, but now that day has come.

If by any chance you would like your own “Just-In Beaver” doll, they’re selling them over on Things4Fun.com. Which is my new favorite online sex shop since I got fucked hanging from my closet door.

- J. Harvey

More pics of the actually fairly attractive “Just-In Beaver” model after the JUMP: