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December 20, 2012

Bradley Cooper Has 5 Nipples. Wanna See Em’?

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Bradley Cooper
was on Ellen promoting that flick about mentally ill people with the Hunger Games biddy, and he took the opportunity to show Ellen his extra nipples. This is stupid and fake (although the 3rd one looks kinda real – maybe that one is?) but Bradley Cooper could probably try explaining the in-field fly rule to me and I’d still want to sit on his face.

To be honest, I find extra nipples to be creepy. A friend of mine showed me his, and (because I’m gruesome) all I could think of was that maybe that 3rd nipple meant he was supposed to be twins. And that it originally belonged to a melted-away brother. And it’s like that movie where the dude had his tiny, murderous Siamese twin chopped off him and carried it around in a basket. AND IT WAS KILLING PEOPLE! BRADLEY COOPER’S 3RD NIPPLE IS GOING TO MURDER PEOPLE! Still – he’s hot.

Stop watching at the 1:25 mark unless you want to see overly excited talk show guests almost go into convulsions over free shit. On second thought, that’s probably more interesting than whatever Bradley Cooper was doing here.

– J. Harvey

To watch, Follow the JUMP:

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4 Comments - View all

poindexter 9:15pm on December 23, 2012

Why the hell is Ellen sending people to -- and promoting -- one of the most homophobic places on the planet?

  • polonius

    that’s not what they look like

  • polonius

    that’s not what they look like

  • polonius

    that’s not what they look like

  • poindexter

    Why the hell is Ellen sending people to — and promoting — one of the most homophobic places on the planet?