Everything Butt: The Best Asses of 2012
Gather around, ass cheek connoisseurs! It’s time for our roundup of the year’s top ten Everything Butt posts. Last week, we brought you our picks for the Best Holes of 2012, so you may be wondering how this list is different… The answer is simple! We have nothing to do with the order these men appear. They’re all ranked by popularity.
(See last year’s list here.)
So who do you think had the best ass of 2012? Was it model gone underwear designer Todd Sanfield? Brilliant bottom Scott Hunter? The man with the fuzzy mounds, Paul Wagner? Or, hey, what about that Brady Hanson guy? You’ll find out soon enough.
Click through to take a look at this year’s best asses:
We wrote: “I am a man who can appreciate a hairy ass… That said, I’m also just as enthusiastic about an impeccably hairless hole. You know the kind I’m talking about! Smooth as silk. You could run your fingers along it like a snobby lady who’s checking if her maid dusted properly, and you wouldn’t find a single area with stubble. Yeah. Those asses drive me crazy… This is particularly true in the case of Lucas Young, whose smooth ass is all sorts of bubblicious.”
We wrote: “The Maverick Men have ensured I can never look at Benny again, without my brain conjuring up the image of him on his knees saying, ‘Please daddy, can I have some more dick?’ This is a problem! If the On The Hunt guys ever bring Benny back to visit my cubicle, I might start spontaneously masturbating in the middle of the office.”
We wrote: “Congratulations, Davis! You just won the Manhunt Daily award for 2012′s Most Welcoming Butthole. We recognize it’s a bit early to be handing out such a prestigious title, but your fuzzy pink pucker is so irresistible that we can’t imagine anyone with a butthole more welcoming. Dani Demon? Cody Lake? They’ve got nothing on you.”
We wrote: “I’ve been struggling with my attraction to Tate Ryder for so long now, because he doesn’t seem like someone who should be ‘my type’. He’s just so gosh damn pretty! As a general rule, I tend to be suspicious of anything or anyone this gorgeous, though my dick (apparently) hasn’t received the memo to be wary of Tate Ryder and his smooth, delicious butthole.”
We wrote: “Hairy asses aren’t everyone’s cup of tea! Of course, if you’re a fan, then Paul Wagner‘s bum is the holy grail of hairy asses. It’s like a divine wonderland of muscle and fuzz. Whenever life gets you down, just imagine Paul’s fuzzy cheeks bouncing in your face. That visual might not change any shitty circumstances, but at least your rock hard dick will distract you from whatever problem’s troubling your mind…”
We wrote: “Before you ask why there are so many cock shots in a post that’s supposedly about Adam Killian‘s butt, we encourage you to watch the trailer at the end of this post. Everything will be clear after that. Like, literally everything! You won’t just understand why we wrote this Everything Butt post; you’ll also discover the meaning of life. Because the meaning of life is to watch this video of Adam Killian shaking his soapy ass on the hood of a car.”
We wrote: “For those of you keeping score at home, Scott Hunter has had his ass drilled by Lucio Saints, Bob Hager, Spencer Reed and Paddy fucking O’Brian. Fuck a holy trinity! That’s like the holy quartet of gay porn dick. Also, when you take into account that’s only a fraction of the men who’ve been inside of him, you can’t help but be a little jealous of Scott’s prostate.”
We wrote: “Toby Tucker is the most charming model to grace Randy Blue‘s pages since Cayden Ross. Though you might not necessarily want to take him home to meet your mother, you could easily envision yourself laughing and having a good time in bed with him… Right before you spank his muscular cheeks and make him your bitch.”
We wrote: “We’re bringing you this week’s installment of Everything Butt a few days early, since there’s no possible way that anyone could have a better butt than model and underwear designer Todd Sanfield. In the past, we gave Todd a lot of shit for promising to spread his cheeks and never delivering. He’s apparently decided to make up for it by taking pictures like this.”
We wrote: “On today’s post about Olympian gymnast Ji Wallace, who recently came out as HIV positive, there was some controversy in the comments section about Wallace ‘flaunting his sexuality‘. I was quick to call bullshit on this sentiment. People living with HIV have every right to look, feel and be sexy. It’s preposterous and close-minded to suggest otherwise.
“To further prove my point, I thought I’d share some pics of swimmer, model, fashion designer and overall HIV-positive role model Jack Mackenroth. He showed off his big, round rump in a new photo shoot with Justin Monroe, and I’m loving every single shot in the set! Don’t you just want to reach out and smack that ass?”
Brady Hanson was disqualified from this year’s race, due to a technical error which placed him on the front page of Manhunt for over a week. He would have been this year’s runner-up.
Nick Sterling and Kurt Madison (aka Quinn Jaxon) were both technically in the top five, but neither of their Everything Butt posts were published in 2012.
• Everything Butt: The Best Asses of 2011
• Josh Long: 2012’s Best Human Being
• Vinny Castillo: 2012’s Most Boner-Worthy Straight Guy
• The 50 Most Searchable Men of 2012
• The Locker Room: The Sexiest Athletes of 2012
• Everything Butt: The Best Holes of 2012
• Charlie Harding Is 2012’s Best Butt-Muncher
• Twink Tank: The Best & Sluttiest Boys of 2012
• Underwear Drawer: The Best Briefs, Jocks & Such of 2012
• Woof Alert: The Hottest Hairy Men of 2012
• Celebrity Skin: The Best Naked Male Celebs of 2012
• Popular Demand: The Top 100 Posts of 2011