Everything Butt: The Best Holes of 2012
Today, I made a list of this year’s ten best buttholes. My mother would be proud! This will act as the first of three very special editions of Everything Butt, including our highly anticipated Best Asses of 2012 countdown and the announcement of 2012’s Hottest Cock Slut.
So whose hole did I pick as the best of them all? Was it Men In The Sand‘s breakout star Davis? Rentboy Brayden Forrester, who recently made his transition to the gay porn industry? Excellent rimjob recipient Jimmy Fanz? Or perhaps Lucas Young, whose jiggly cheeks made me jizz more times than I can count?
Don’t delay! Find out today… Or, um, NOW.
Click through to find out who had the best hole of 2012:
Some of you took issue with the fact that hairy-chested escort Brayden Forrester has a shaved, completely smooth hole. I’m not seeing the problem here! As someone who usually prefers hairy guys, even I’m willing to confess this cheeks-spread-wide shot got me stiff as a rock.
It can be infuriating to make lists like this when someone like Dale Cooper gets ranked so low. Please remember that there were hundreds (maybe thousands) of buttholes to choose from. The fact that Dale’s ranked in ninth place is actually quite impressive.
It should be noted that Dale has slept with both Colby Jansen and Colby Keller, making him one Colby away from having the entire “Holy Trinity of Hot Colbys” inside of his ass. Beyond that, his roles in Dragon Media‘s Dirty Director, Men In The Sand and NYC Convention increased his bangability factor by approximately 900 percent.
Holy pinkness! Coleman‘s hole was so delicious that fellow Sean Cody model Aidan was one lick away from proposing to it.
How do I love Jimmy Fanz and his hairy crack? Let me count the ways… One, Donny Wright eating him out! Two, the sight of Paddy O’Brian perfect cock plunging deep inside of him! Three, that time he hugged Colby Jansen (and got fucked too)! Four, both of his scenes from Knockouts and Takedowns, particularly the 5-minute finger bang with Tucker Philman! Five, the first time we saw him with a dick in his ass, costarring David Chase!
There are other ways too. I just lost count after imagining what it’d be like to shove my tongue in his butt.
This isn’t Photoshop magic. If you watch the video footage from Ethan Rose‘s solo for You Love Jack, his utterly stunning boy pussy (DEAL WITH IT) looks just as good as it does here.
An honorable mention goes out to Ethan’s site-mates Damien Day, Tony Star, Jimmy Little, Devon Lake and Mick Roberts. There is literally no site that does twink-hole better than You Love Jack. I’m being 100% serious about that.
Charlie Harding—a man otherwise known as “2012’s Best Butt-Muncher“—helped earn Dylan Roberts his spot in the top ten. Their “sloppy wet” adventures secured Dylan a permanent place in my spank bank, and he only became more appealing after his scene with Christian Wilde. Ugh! I want to worship that ass for hours.
Trent Locke would have been ranked higher if he hadn’t announced his retirement in October. Debatably, this development has nothing to do with the (absurdly great) quality of his fuzzy hole, but I have every right to hold a grudge against “Ryan” for taking that away from me. Oh well! I guess I’ll just have to jerk off to his old scenes.
Now, I know what some of you are thinking—“How can you choose someone as one of the best buttholes of the year and not have a decent shot of his pretty pink pucker?” You’re just going to have to trust me on this one! Lucas Young and Adam Killian came together for one of my favorite gay porn scenes of 2012. The majority of the credit for this award goes to Adam, who did a great job at showcasing Lucas’ assets.
I will be honest! Davis does not have the prettiest asshole of the year, but there’s something primal and wild about it that could drive a man insane. Appropriately, his debut scene with the Maverick Men was called “FUCK ME LIKE AN ANIMAL!!!“. That’s the only way this hole should ever be fucked.
In making this list, I knew there’d be some controversy over whether the number one pick was hairy or smooth. Anthony Romero could theoretically be seen as a compromise, but that’s not the reason you’re seeing him in first place. He’s here because he’s truly deserving of the title “Most Beautiful Butthole of The Year“.
My dick—who occasionally chimes in as an unwelcome guest blogger—was dead-set on picking Davis as the winner. When I began looking through the nominees’ images, I had to spank my dick and tell him, “No! Anthony Romero is the obvious choice.”
If you need further proof than the image above, look back at his scenes with Campbell Stevens and Justin Beal. Then, watch his scene with Gabriel Clark for even more (and better) proof. The threesome with Arnaud Chagall! The threesome with Pierre Fitch! The super-cute scene with his boyfriend Austin Wilde!
There is SO MUCH proof, and if you need more, just wait until Austin and Anthony’s site Guys In Sweatpants starts producing original, hardcore content next month. It’s going to rock your taint off.
HONORABLE MENTION – TREVOR KNOX:
You can’t write a poem to someone’s “perfect boy-cunt” and not give them a shoutout on a list of the best holes. Trevor just missed the mark, but that doesn’t make his hairy twink slot any less appealing. I’d love to grab onto those low-hangers, shove my face between those cheeks and devour him whole. GRRRRR!
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