It’s now become clear that 2012 is the year of non-sexy songs sounding sexy as fuck. The first time I listened to Usher‘s “Climax“, I felt like electric waves of sexual pleasure were pulsing through my body (like sex with a ghost). Once I finally realized the song’s lyrics are actually quite depressing, I still got a semi every time I heard it… Because gosh, that man’s falsetto is like crack for my penis.
The same could be said for Solange Knowles‘ “Losing You“, Sky Ferreira‘s “Everything Is Embarrassing” and Cyril Hahn‘s remix of “Say My Name” by Destiny’s Child. Those songs never failed to put a swerve in my hips, despite the fact that there’s nothing boner-inducing about their lyrical content.
Then, of course, there’s Skream‘s new single with Kelis. “Copy Cat” is a sparse, vaguely repetitive electronic number that goes straight to my crotch. I have to force myself to remember it’s just a song about other chicks biting her style, and remember that I’m too gay for dick to sit on Kelis’ lap and be her naughty puppet.