Gay Ass Gossip: Matt Damon Put Jimmy Kimmel In Bondage

ITEM - If you’ve ever had bondage fantasies about Jimmy Kimmel, then you were probably turbo-fapping while watching his show last night. His fake-feud with local hero Matt Damon came to fruition when Matt bound and gagged him and then guest-hosted the entire show with special appearances by huge stars like Ben Affleck, Nicole Kidman, and Demi Moore. This was some kinky shit, as Jimmy spent the entire evening taped to a chair with his own tie stuffed in his mouth and squirming in the background. Very submissive. Jimmy’s not bad, but I’d much rather be wrapping Damon in duct tape. And then some other stuff.

- J. Harvey

ITEM - Jezebel (via DListed) opines that Jeremy Renner (who used to be a make-up artist, really?) had an easy, breezy beautiful face full of cosmetics at the Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters premiere. Here’s the pic. What do you think? I don’t know what the big deal is! I thought all the male actors did this. Isn’t bronzer a huge thing when you work in front of a camera? Based on the title of that movie, I probably would have gone in a veil so people didn’t know who I was.

ITEM - Scottish manwhore Gerard Butler’s new flick is about terrorists taking over the White House. It’s called Olympus Has Fallen, and the only redeeming thing I come away from this trailer with is that maybe he’ll lose his shirt at some point.