There Was/Is A Gay Guy On The Red Sox?!?! (That’s Not Him, He’s Just The Bearer Of Glad Tidings)
WHAT? Why wasn’t this brought to my attention previously? Manhunt HQ is located in Boston, the Red Sox are our ball team, and former Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling recently Tweeted that he’s played with gay teammates in the past. Holy shit, I could have/might be able to fucked/fuck a Red Sox player? A Red Sock? Pink Sock? Whatever.
Queerty (via Twitter):
“I’ve never understood this ‘issue’ with gay players? Who cares? I know I played with some, their sexual orientation never had much… to do with how they hit with [a runner in scoring position], or pitched in late and close situations.
Why the hell would what they do in the bedroom ever matter?”
This news sent my mind a’scramblin’ to try and figure out which past or present Red Sox player it could be. Nomar? Johnny Damon? Wakefield? Papelbon? Vinateri (oh, wait – no, he was on the Pats. Silly non-sports fan!)? Or could it be….do I dare even dream….if this is who he meant I will scream and jump out a window to get to Fenway (wait, he retired)….JASON VARITEK?!?! The meatiest ass in baseball? Professional squatter? The guy who supposedly looks like THAT in a locker room (see below)? I think I just came.
On a sad note, Curt also played for the Philadelphia Phillies, Arizona Diamondbacks, Baltimore Orioles and the Houston Astros. So some of you guys who live in those states might be lucking out, and fate might cause you to pick up the right closeted athlete down at the gay bar, and you’ll get to fuck him in a laundry cart full of dirty jockstraps in the locker room of a professional baseball team. I’ll hate you if that’s the case. It’s nothing personal.
- J. Harvey