Saturday 18th May 2013,

Gay Ass Gossip: Justin Bieber Is One Underwear Yank Down From Twink Porn

ITEM - The Biebs is looking Helix Studios twink porn-ready! It’s his 19th birthday today, and Justin Bieber celebrated by showing off that fuck train-ready body to the paps in London. Frankly, I’ve always felt the saggy pants thing to be a little silly. Unless the dude saggin’ looks like hot jailbait. And he’s 19 now. Justin Bieber is officially hot jailbait. Check out the pics below.

He also looks stoned as hell. That’s good. It will make insertion go easier.

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Screen Shot 2013-03-01 at 3.47.26 PM

ITEM – If Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka break up, I’m going to cut the head off my Doogie Howser doll. I’m kidding. Is a Doogie Howser doll even a thing? I can’t find one on Google, so probably not. The Enquirer ran a sad-ass story about NPH and his fiance David Burtka headin’ toward a parting of their sexy ways. Doogie responded via Twitter that this was not the case and the wedding is on.

Screen Shot 2013-03-01 at 3.44.50 PM

Yeah, so SUCK IT, Enquirer. How do I get invited to this wedding? I’m guessing their gay pals are hot, too.

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ian-somerhalder-origin-magazine-03012013-01-435x580

ITEM - That’s Vampire Diaries actor Ian Somerhalder on the cover of Origin. magazine. Hey, sign? Fuck you.

  • Journalist1989

    Well, going by unsaid jail laws, he’s letting the guys know he’s available

  • graphicjack

    Well, looks like we’ve lost yet another child star to the trainwreck of drugs/liquor/partying/sex. I’ve never been a fan and I find him sexually neutred, but I am sad to see fame go to the head of yet another child star. Why do parents allow their kids to go in the business? Is money worth fucking up your kid’s life? It’s disgusting. Parents should be protecting their kids, not selling them out for fame and fortune.

  • graphicjack

    And what’s up with his posture? I know everyone slouches these days, but he looks like a cro-magnan or an 80-year-old who has arthritis. Is he doing that so his pants fall down? LOL… good look, Beebs!

  • RavelTrouser

    I love that Justin Beiber has this whole “thug” look, and way of speaking, but apologized for smoking pot, promising never to do it again. Unsurprisingly weak sauce.

  • DAK23

    He’s trying too hard to look hard, and it comes off as ridiculous. That having been written, I’d do things to him. Nasty, dirty, sexual things.

  • Caleb in SC

    Yes, it’s called being a poser. He’s a middle-classed Canadian, not an inner city African-American. He needs to grow the fuck up.

  • Domtoppapi

    agreed…he is as close to a thug as a republican is close to supporting a women’s right to choose…he looks so silly…but i too would do nasty dirty terrible things to him…vile wicked biblical acts that would make sodom n gamorra look like a day camp for christiuan mormon teens…

  • KinkMeup

    Very surprised this blog hasn’t given Ian Somerhalder–and the rest of the case of Vampire Diaries–more attention.

  • bert33405

    This man child looks utterly ridiculous trying to be macho. Too bad someone hasn’t smacked some sense into him. I’m afraid he is going the way of so many child stars that can’t cross over into adolescence well at all and sad to say it looks like he is one of them. He thinks he is indestructible and does whatever he pleases, next will be drugs and booze if he hasn’t already started. He won’t be a teen heart throb much longer and it will be the beginning of his end. Certainly hope someone is handling his money wisely for him because he will need it once this joy ride is over for him.

  • Javier

    I don’t think anyone is handling his money for him as much as they’re cashing in on his teen heartthrob status to make money off of him. Once he stops looking like a cute lesbian, he’ll be abandoned by the ones who are promoting him so hard. He’s a marginally good singer, nothing special.

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