Dewitt’s Favorite Person Gives The Newly Heterosexual Nick Gruber The Bum’s Rush
As someone who works closely with Dewitt (aka the heart, soul and penis of Manhunt Daily), I tend to know his likes and dislikes. He likes kittehs, hairy badonka donks, and fisting GIFs. As for his dislikes? The list includes any female on the iTunes Top Ten, my attempts at writing HTML code, and Lucas Entertainment‘s Michael Lucas. You should click that link because it’s an amusing post my co-blogger wrote about how he wanted to do Mr. Lucas despite a feud in which they were engaged.
But wait! It seems that Lucas has redeemed himself! He took that attention-sucking ho-bag Nick Gruber and tossed his “straight”, brawlin’ ass out of his Fire Island Party. It’s like when Fox News pisses off an anti-gay group. I GET CONFUSED AND DON’T KNOW WHO TO TURN MY HATE ON!
According to our friends at Queerty, Lucas rents out a tent at Fire Island’s annual Ascension Party. And Calvin Klein’s former purse holder rolled up acting every level of stank. I’ll let Michael fill you in.
“I saw this arrogant guy who was being rude to people, shoving two guys away after they bumped into him. I heard him say, “Keep your hands away from me! I”m straight!” So I went over to him, and asked him why he was being so rude.
He said, “I am straight, and I don’t want any gay people to touch me.” At which point, I told him “you’re leaving.”
He said, “do you know who I am?” I said, “I don’t know, and I don’t even want to know who you think you are.”
Then he said, “Try me.” I said “Watch me.” I called over to security and had him hauled away without his feet even touching the floor. Then someone explained to me that this is the ex boyfriend of Calvin Klein, Nick Gruber, who just “came out” as “straight.”
I have never heard about this guy before and had no idea what he looked like. I’ve never read any of the gossip that supposedly surrounds him. So, I guess he came to a gay party to let everyone know he is “straight.”
Crystal meth is a HELLUVA drug. Hey, I didn’t say Nick Gruber is on crystal meth. I just said that it’s a helluva drug. I hoop some and suddenly my cubicle is so clean you could birth a baby on it!
Michael Lucas has really turned over a new leaf and struck a blow for people who are over opportunistic fame hustlers. At least in my estimation. Look, anyone who has anything to do with the incredible hotness over at Lucas Entertainment (for $10 a month!) can’t be all bad.
- J. Harvey
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