Gay Ass Gossip: Ben Affleck To Romance Henry Cavill
ITEM – Nerds are HEATED today, after it was announced that Ben Affleck would be portraying Batman in the upcoming Superman/Batman romantic flick. The geek rage is understandable. Ben isn’t as hot as Henry Cavill. And Ben’s previous attempt at superheroing was busted. Plus, as far as actors go, Affleck is a wonderful director. Can you tell I’m a nerd? Anyway, Man of Steel was just okay. It had some rad effects, but Henry was kind of wooden. Perhaps this will be an improvement. We’ll see?
Still, Tyler Hoechlin was robbed!
There is total homoerotic tension between Supes and Bats in the comics. They’re outsiders! Unknowable men who protect us from evil, but can’t protect themselves from heartache! That’s what binds them. That and the spandex and rubber in which their big, giant cocks are encased. Cocks that need to be released to spring free and satiate each other’s loneliness!
Check out some pics of Ben and Henry below. They’d make a hot couple.
- J. Harvey
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ITEM - We fully realize that no one cares about the adventures of “straight” gay hustler and general mess Nick Gruber. But I do because it’s hilarious. The former porn performer, who used to be squired around by fashion mogul and wealthy chickenhawk Calvin Klein, recently found himself being tossed out of a Michael Lucas party on Fire Island. What’s next for Nick? Well, an ex-sugar daddy clarifying Nick’s heterosexuality to Gawker and calling him the worst sex he’s ever had.
John Luciano, 49, was so annoyed that Nick denied they ever had a relationship that he got on the horn to Gawker and read Nick for filth. Here are some snippets. Luciano needs to write for Manhunt Daily because he had me laughing my ass off.
“The worst lover I’ve ever had! I like Nick and am friends with him and still try to help him, and I’m the one who encouraged him to get back with Calvin, but our relationship was very open.
“Whatever crap Nick was smoking when he gave you that interview, I had to laugh. I had to set a couple things straight. We dated for nine months and we’re still friends. I was having lunch with him in Beverly Hills the day the article came out. I see humor in everything because he’s such an idiot.”
And this questioning was priceless:
When he dated you, was it gay for pay?
Are you smoking crack? Of course! No, I‘m so special! Of course it was. I’m not gonna fool myself. The only person you should never lie to is yourself.
That photo of you kissing while he’s holding bags…
I bought him Ralph Lauren and Barneys. And Calvin was very generous with him. The problem is Calvin is very possessive. Nick was in love with the lifestyle, the Bentley, and the private jet, and I understand that, but if Calvin had loosened the leash, they would have still been together.
But Nick says it was true love.
There are enough lies! Come on now! Yeah, it was true love. Calvin was in love with his body and Nick was in love with the wallet. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I date younger guys, and as long as it’s legal, it’s OK, but I don’t fool myself.
What an animated fellow! So Nick sounds like a special young man. Apparently we need to stop putting “straight” in quotes when writing about McGruber, because this guy claims Nick is totally gay-for-pay. Thoughts?
ITEM – Celebrity Power Bottom champion Joey Fatone is my favorite NSync-er. It’s because he’s goofy and fun-loving, worships Superman, has a gay best friend (Lance Bass), can dance despite his bulk, and has a big, fat, bearish ass that I want to worship. Supposedly, there will be an NSync reunion when Justin Timberlake is awarded some MTV bullshit award this weekend. Ugh, who cares, but I will watch if Joey takes the stage in a jockstrap. That big, fat, sexy bastard. He’s always being photographed with his tongue out. He’s trying to tell my ass something.
Watch Fatone denying he’s in NYC this weekend for the NSync reunion below (via TMZ). Can you believe JT didn’t invite him to the wedding. Selfish, ungrateful asshole that he is. Can you imagine how much fun Joey must be at a wedding? He’ll grind up on your granny, smack the groom on the ass, and you know he’s jumping into the hotel pool naked after the reception.
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