I kid. Will Smith is totally straight.

*crickets*.

Actually, I might also smack a bitch if they thrust their lips on me without permission. Unless it was Vinny Castillo. He can do whatever he wants with me, and then not use a coaster when he puts his beer down on my coffee table. Dude is boss.

Will Smith was at the Moscow premiere of Men In Black 3 (*side-eye* at Hollywood for that one) and encountered some intimacy. A Ukranian reporter known for his schtick of planting kisses on unsuspecting celebs struck. The Fresh Prince was not feeling the man-on-man action so he pushed the man and then gave him a little backhand to the mug.

Let me Zapruder this shit. My analysis of the situation is that Will got a little panicky because the Ukranian Kissing Bandit was unwittingly on to something. It’s like when you think you have a sub-standard dick and someone pantses you. Whether it’s true or not, you THINK it’s true and now it’s been revealed to the world. No, I am not speaking from experience. Asshole.

Or Will didn’t want some happy asshole stinking of cheap vodka and borscht up in his grille. You decide!

- J. Harvey

To watch the video, Follow the JUMP:

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Have you ever been curious about which ol’ school Hollywood actors preferred the company of other men? Well, you’re in luck! An ONTD reader was kind enough to read Scotty Bowers‘ Full Service: My Adventures in Hollywood and the Secret Sex Lives of the Stars so you don’t have to! A decent portion of the book’s items concern the sexuality of yesterday’s stars. Some of the items are obvious. Some of them are not.

I’ve gone ahead and copied and pasted a few of the more intriguing bits from the reader’s list, but you can check out much more here. The part about Jack Ryan popping out of coffins whilst masturbating was… Um, interesting?

- Dewitt

Click through for some retro gay ass gossip:

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Blah blah blah Channing Tatum, Joe Mangianello, Matt Bomer, and Matthew McConaughey in a movie about male strippers blah blah blah.

You whores know the drill. Magic Mike is on the way, and EW just dropped two covers and a slew of pics from their photoshoot on us. Alcide doesn’t do shirts, bitch.

- J. Harvey

Check out some behind-the-scenes pic AFTER THE JUMP:

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What the fuck is wrong with my dick? First, it was this picture of Russell Brand looking like an obnoxious juicebox, and now I’m getting a boner from this picture of Sacha Baron Cohen‘s butt? This is not okay! Someone needs to take my dick to finishing school and teach it how to be normal.

Ugh. I’m disgusted with myself.

- Dewitt

Photo via: World of Wonder

Remember Starship Troopers? Neil Patrick Harris was in it, and Denise Richards’ unplucked brows played a major role. One of the reasons I’ll still watch it if it comes on basic cable on a Sunday afternoon is Casper Van Dien and his body. That scene where he gets whipped, and he’s hanging there like a side of beef? Yes, please.

Apparently it was a trilogy? A THRILLOGY obviously! It’s so sad when big movies end up with the direct-to-DVD sequels and some of the original stars are still part of em’. The one thing Casper can hold on to is that he still has a great ass and he shows it off.

- J. Harvey

For screencaps and a clip, Follow the JUMP (warning – nekkid ladies):

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