Avast ye mateys, we shall pillage that booty! Let’s try a little something with our “Gay Terms We…” feature. Yep, I have no problem being called a “butt pirate.” I think it sounds manly. I like ass, and pirates are cool! They’ve got hooks for hands, they swashbuckle for treasure, and they enslave nubile young men to serve on their ships! There’s eye-patches, and if the talking parrot gets too irritating, you can shoot a musket ball at it! Plus, it’s fun to talk in pirate dialect.

So take said pirate, and then make sure the booty he’s scavenging for is the high and tight butt of the hottest landlubber around! How is that an insult? If a homophobe calls me that, I raise my mug of grog and drink one to him. BUTT PIRATES UNITE!

Speaking of butt pirates, we give you Reese Rideout and Tristan Scott. These two chow down on each other’s asses like sexy pigs at a trough, and then Reese takes Tristan for a spin on his cock. Consummate butt pirates!

- J. Harvey

Photo credit: Randy Blue

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We like to think “Gay Terms We Hate” inspires intelligent discussion and allows us all to offer up our thoughtful opinions in a environment safe for discourse. Also, ew – poop reference.

Today’s subject is a little different than the previous ones. “Fudgepacker” is actually a gay SLUR that I hate.

There are gay slurs you like, you ask incredulously? Yeah, it really depends on the usage and who’s saying it that makes it a slur, right? But I can pretty much stand firm in my opinion that no one out there is proudly referring to themselves as a “fudgepacker.”

Ugh, what a juvenile term. And if I’m calling it juvenile. It sounds like it originated in the school caf with some bodily function-obsessed 9th grader who has that odd straight guy curiosity with gay sex.

(Side note: You gays out there with straight guy friends. If you’re close with the heterosexual in question, have you received the inevitable “so, uh, what do you, ya know, DO with other guys…” question? Yeah, me too.)

And yeah, “fudgepacker” stems from moronic dismissal of anal sex between men as “gross”  and certain straight mens’ fears that if anything enters the butthole besides a doctor’s gloved fingers, they will suddenly be volunteering as the target face at a bukkake party. It’s just another way of denigrating one of our sexual behaviors. Cuz’ straight people NEVER have anal sex.

And yeah, “fudge.” Do we HAVE to explain to people about enemas, douching, making sure everything is tidy before the main event to people? No. When asked,  I certainly didn’t. Christ, it’s hard enough writing this post. I merely stated “you go in clean” and that was that.

Thoughts?

- J. Harvey

Photo credit: Dirty Tony

To comment and for more pics of Fabian and Krys Perez having squeaky-clean anal sex (the only thing being “packed” is cock), Follow the JUMP:

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I know we’re dudes, but do we HAVE to be so gross? It’s funny, gay guys are often portrayed as uptight, feminine types who have no use for raunchy behavior.

(Stop looking at me and saying “isn’t that why YOU write this feature, queen?”)

That’s a lame stereotype that  has and will always be TOTAL BULLSHIT. Gay guys can be just as “boys will be boys” in their behavior as hets. I first heard a gay guy drop “cum dumpster”, and then all of a sudden straight guys were using it to describe frat house gangbang service workers. Much like making the athletic shoe into casualwear, the murse, and shaving your balls, we’re always setting the trends.  Even when it comes to creatively labeling the town’s Pass-Around Patty (a gay term I LOVE).

No judgements about sluts! This is Manhunt, after all. But “cum dumpster”….it just summons images of a…well, a dumpster…filled to the brim with spunk! Some of you bukkake enthusiasts would be erecting a diving board in front of it. I am no stranger to protein shakes, but fuck, that’s a lot of spooj. And “dumpster” = “trash”. No one wants to be considered trash except for the odd Kardashian or Real Housewife.

There are much nicer and less gnarly ways to label someone a whore besides “cum dumpster.” Expert, popular, skilled, cocksman? A good sport? What are yours?

- J. Harvey

Photo credit: Dirty Tony

For more pics of a cum dumpster in action, Follow the JUMP:

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Since we launched this feature, “boy pussy” (follow by “boycunt” and “mangina”) has been the term you guys seem to hate the most. In fact, it was suggested SO many times that it might be the most despised term in the gay lexicon. And yes, it’s THE WORST. Why? Because we like guys! “Pussy” is “vagina”! “Pussy” turns the majority (except for you bisexual gentlemen) of us off. We love our lady friends, but we don’t want to go anywhere near your cavern of mysteries.

And then latching “boy” onto it. It’s just a traffic accident between ladyparts and things that sound potentially underage.

Just call it a damn butthole! Asshole! Yes, “anus” is gross but it doesn’t summon the image of a dude with a vagine in his ass. I am not getting anywhere near your hole if you’re calling it “boy pussy.” Good heavens. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

And yes, “man pussy” or (even worse) “mussy” is out, too!

- J. Harvey

Photo credit: Hot House

For more images of Johnny Torque fucking Cameron Foster’s anything but “boy pussy”, Follow the JUMP:

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I was born at night, but not last night. So I know I am going to be receiving several “Go fuck yourself, J. Harvey! – CuteAzzBoi” love letters in the comments section. But seriously – why “boi?” It’s not even that it makes you sound rather femme. Many of us ARE rather femme. And that’s A-OK. It just makes you sound a LITTLE too precious and cutesy for words. Why abandon the “y?” There’s other ways to express your individuality. Pierce something, or perhaps declare your hatred of Darren Criss.

When someone referring to themselves as “boi” hits me up on Manhunt (no, you can’t have my profile name), my mind IMMEDIATELY pictures them as sulky, pouty, high-maintenance, and having difficulty in acting their age.

In the lesbian butch and femme community, some (wait for it) BOYISH lesbians reportedly use that word to describe themselves. But that’s outside of Manhunt’s territory. Here’s the definition as it relates to us gay guys (via Wikipedia):

A (generally) younger guy who prefers older men, and is the “boi” in a “DADDY and boi” dating, relationship, or sexual situation, where “boi” is used to differentiate between someone who is underage, and someone who just identifies as the younger guy who wants or needs an older man. In this context, “boi” can be masculine or effeminate, or anywhere along that spectrum, and some males identify as a “boi” well beyond their 20s, and especially so as long as they are involved with older men. Often, though not always, prefers the submissive role.

The term is still irritating to me, but fair enough.

However, some of the men who are referring to themselves as “bois”? If that definition is accurate, your boyfriend must be 72. *dodges thrown objects*

- J. Harvey

Photo credit: Broke Straight Boys

For some shots of Chad (who could get away with using “boi” as a descriptor despite it being lame), Follow the JUMP:

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