Dewitt refused to write this post. He was very sincere when he asked me to do it for him. He’s not feeling Ciccone. I’m fine with it. I like Madonna. I have been programmed since adolescence to give anything she does the benefit of the doubt. Sure, she’s a self-centered, megalomaniacal, crotchety twat. But who doesn’t like that in a gal?

Her new single/vid is “Gimme All Your Luvin’” and it dropped today. It’s just in time for her Superbowl halftime performance on Sunday. Complete with football-themed video! The “M” in Madge is for “Marketing Spider Queen”. For a breakdown, Follow the JUMP!

- J. Harvey

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I think being “friend” to Joan and Melissa Rivers (watch the clip for what “Lynne” is described as) as an occupation would be a double-edged sword. Sure, you get to participate in their staged reality show and hang out with Joan. But befriending Melissa is the other side of the coin. Melissa has the worst job in history (daughter/straight woman to ancient comedienne and not being allowed to follow her own aspirations) and it probably makes her cranky.

Like I noted, this scene from their show is so staged but it still made me chuckle. Watching old people blaze up like it’s their first time is funny (there is no way this is her first time). I highly doubt, however, that Joan has to drive her ass to a cul-de-sac to get high. Have you ever seen her NYC place? If you watch the documentary about her, her New York City hovel looks like fucking Versailles. You expect to see jeweled poodles with elaborately sculpted fur trot by and coachmen throwing waistcoats over mud puddles. She’s gotta have a weed room.

On a sort of related note, I kinda want to fuck Melissa’s ex-boyfriend Jason Zimmerman. He looks fat and greasy. I like that in a man. Sometimes.

- J. Harvey

Watch the vid after the JUMP:

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It’s International Armpit Appreciation Week here at Manhunt Daily! I don’t know who the fuck Davis Mallory is (apparently he was on MTV’s The Real World), but my new bestie at Boy Culture just posted this video of him getting cozy in bed with his much-hotter boyfriend Tyrone.

WATCH IT HERE.

I assure you, the title of this post is accurate. These two are doing what boyfriends tend to do in bed together. They’re so in love that it’s almost annoying!

UPDATE: And now it’s back online! Check out the link above to watch.

- Dewitt

I have no clue. But that one guy is really enjoying his cucumber.

Actually it seems to be a PSA for vegetables. They’re definitely making me want to snap my carrot.

- J. Harvey

p.s. Last week someone was wailing about how this feature blah blah blah homophobia blah blah. It only exists because watching guys we assume are straight do homoerotic things can be hot. Really. That’s it. It’s not a political statement. This isn’t Joe My God.

To watch “Queer Field Remastered”, Follow the JUMP:

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It should come as no surprise that the prudes at YouTube yanked our video of Ari Silvio (aka Ari Sylvio) chatting with us at the 2012 Cybersocket Web Awards. Okay, so we realize he was talking about big cocks and showing off serious amounts of butt crack, but we’ve seen far worse videos of women on their site! What’s up with this double standard? Where is the gender equality in this internet universe?

Being the rebellious bad-asses that we are, we’ve re-uploaded the clip to Vimeo, a site otherwise known as the cooler, artsier and hotter younger bro of YouTube. The reviews were mixed on this video when we first posted it. However, haters can eat a bag of dicks (as if you wouldn’t enjoy that), because we fucking love it.

- Dewitt

Click through for the video (and some pics from the scene I masturbated to last night):

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