Fox Television’s House ends tonight. For those of you who are like “who, what?”, it’s the suspense-drama about a drug-addicted cranky bitch of a doctor who solves medical mysteries. I’ve seen it a few times, and it’s not bad. But if I had this douche mocking me while I lay dying of a mysterious illness, I would go upside his jaw with one of those metal bed pans.

Are there any of you out there who find House’s portrayer (British actor Hugh Laurie) hot? There’s always some guy in the comments claiming that we don’t feature “regular” guys. Well, here ya go! Do you want to experience House’s bedside manner or would you like a second opinion? I have no clue what that meant. I was trying to work within the confines of medical cliche.

- J. Harvey

To vote, Follow the JUMP:

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A rather svelte-looking Jimmy Kimmel emceed the White House Correspondents’ Dinner over the weekend, and he looked kinda…dashing. Jimbo was reportedly extremely nervous following THE PRESIDENT’S COMEDY ROUTINE (say what you will about President Barack Obama, but at least he’s got a sense of humor about himself) but still managed to be charming and funny.

(Let’s pause for a second. Everybody give a “boo, you whore!” towards Fox News for bringing cokey slag Lindsay Lohan and tumor on America Kim Kardashian to the White House dinner. The only house those two trollops belong in has a wrecking ball swinging at it.)

I have somewhat of a fetish for schlubby funny guys, so I totally would get into some Kimmel. Would you?

- J. Harvey

For more pics of Jimmy and to vote, Follow the JUMP:

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I love my country. But, like many Americans, it periodically annoys the fuck out of me. What is today’s first world problem, you might ask? The newest Nicholas Sparks shitshow is #2 at the box office and the utterly brilliant, scary, and hysterical The Cabin In The Woods is at #6. It’s only been out for two weeks. Are you shitting me? Listen – Cabin is the one of the cleverest horror flicks that’s been out in a long time. It’s co-written by Joss Whedon (of Buffy and the upcoming Avengers fame) and directed by the dude who wrote Cloverfield. If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re missing out. I could go on and on about what a cool flick it is, but I need to get to the potentially sexy man portion of this “Would You Hit That?”.

Fran Kranz is a regular Whedon actor (he was on the late, lamented Dollhouse) who plays the stoner archetype (that’s a plot clue, btw) in the movie. He’s hilarious and makes for an unlikely hero. In the movie, he’s a bit of a blazed-out mess and he looks it. But I once saw Mr. Kranz on the street in NYC and he is a HANDSOME guy. Dude had the nicest skin I have ever seen on a man. No joke.

Anyway, check out the pics of Franz in non-stoner mode after the JUMP. Would you hit that?

- J. Harvey

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Remember that movie from the 80s where Drew Barrymore’s cat battles a troll that was climbing on the family’s chests at night and sucking out their breath? Well, it’s time for a remake starring the Francois Sagat doll. I don’t know how you take a sexy beefstick like Sagat and fashion the most demonic-looking doll since this one after him. That isn’t Sagat. That’s his unholy doppleganger from the evil mirror universe. He’s come to replace Francois and turn gay porn into a fiery pit of sleazy demonic hell. Yeah, I heard you in the back muttering “wouldn’t take much.”

Not that you’d fuck a doll (unless that’s your kink) but do you find Francois Sagat’s toy likeness to be sexy or terrifying? Jump and vote.

Kudos on the pube realism. Was this Mattel?

- J. Harvey

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I have something to confess. I am an ignorant jerk. Yeah, yeah. You knew that. What I mean is – I find Peter Dinklage (he plays anti-hero Tyrion Lannister in HBO’s Game Of Thrones) to be sexy. And I realized that every time I mentioned this to people, I would preface it by saying “I know this sounds odd, but….” Argh, I’m a dick. I need to stand behind what I think is hot! And why shouldn’t Peter Dinklage be considered hot? Who gives a shit if he’s a little person? He’s a manly man, he’s got a sexy way about him, and he’s a helluva an actor. Now if you’ll excuse me while I go grow a backbone.

Howabout you? Does Peter Dinklage turn ya on, or are you looking at me like “really?”

- J. Harvey

Check out more pics and  vote after the JUMP:

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