(ignore the female adult film star on the right)

Dewitt already gave you his pick, now it’s my turn. Go Pats! We’re in Boston, what do you expect? I just realized that I haven’t even gotten invited to a Madonna Half-Time Show Viewing Superbowl Party yet! What gives? I guess my friends started reading Manhunt Daily and realized exactly how obnoxious I am.

In the spirit of Sunday’s big game, here’s a local hero that I want to have fuck magic with. It’s tight end (I’ll say) Rob Gronkowski. Granted, “Gronk” isn’t great with the judgement, and (while cute) looks a little herp derp in the face. However – BODY.

You were probably expecting me to pick Tom Brady, weren’t you? Nope. I don’t want to have sex with Tom Brady. He’s kinda boring-looking. Is it just me? Maybe I can’t get past the Gisele thing.

- J. Harvey

For more pics of hot Rob, Follow the JUMP:

Between Buzzfeed‘s “Hotties Of The SuperBowl” list and Ranker‘s interactive version on the same theme, I’ve spent a lot of the past two days fapping to pics of attractive football players. More accurately, I’ve spent a lot of time fapping to pics of the New England Patriots. I’m loyal to my damn team! It’s not all that difficult, considering they’re some of the sexiest fuckers in the NFL.

Whether you’re a fan of Wes Welker‘s icey blue eyes or Deion Branch‘s magnificent smile, there’s something for everyone in the Pats’ line-up. Personally, I’m quite fond of Rob Ninkovich‘s beard. Scratch that! I’m just fond of Rob Ninkovich. Even without the facial hair, he’s one of the most boner-inducing athletes I’ve ever laid eyes on. UNF!

- Dewitt

Click through to daydream about giving Ninkovich a facial:

Let’s not forget the Pats’ other Rob:

The gods of gay porn must be happy with us, because it feels like we’ve been getting bombarded with new Paul Wagner scenes. This is a good thing! For all we care, the gods of gay porn could make it rain nothing but Paul Wagner scenes, and we’d make it rain jizz showers right back into their faces.

This particular scene’s got the best of both worlds, with the “Ryan Gosling of gay porn” topping and bottoming for Randy Blue‘s Chris Bines. If you didn’t get hard merely reading that last sentence, just wait until you see the pics…

- Dewitt

Photo credit: Randy Blue

Click through for more pics and a free video preview:

Additional FREE hardcore clips over here.

My refusal to write about “Give Me All Your Luvin’” had less to do with my ambivalence toward Madonna, and more to do with the fact that I only had one joke about it—”The inclusion of Nicki Minaj and M.I.A. feels, uh, superfluous (look it up).”

On top of that, I truly don’t feel any connection with the song. I don’t love it, and I don’t particularly hate it… It’s sort of just, uh, there?

I’m going to get shit for saying that, aren’t I? Sorry, Madge fans! I can’t force myself to L-U-V this track, much like the queen can’t force herself to L-U-V hydrangeas. Since I know all of you care SO much, here are ten somewhat recent songs that I do L-U… Oh, fuck it. I like them. I fucking like them, okay? That’s all.

- Dewitt

Click through to listen to my blatantly more-awesome jams:

1. M.I.A. – “Bad Girls”

2. NO – “Stay With Me”

3. Zebra Katz f/ Njena Redd Foxx – “Ima Read”

4. Tiny Victories – “Lost Weekend”

5. Saint Etienne – “Tonight”

6. ScHoolboy Q f/ A$AP Rocky – “Hands On The Wheel”

7. Elliott Brood – “Northern Air”

8. Hunx – “Always Forever”

9. Elle Varner – “WTF”

10. Purple Crush – “Reductive (Look It Up)”

(Truth be told, I don’t necessarily like this. But I like the idea of it.)

DutchBoy28 is our selection for Manhunt Man of the Week. He’s got a GIANT cock. You probably aren’t going to read past that sentence so blah blah blah blah naked guy.

That isn’t the only reason why we chose him. He also has morphing hair, and we appreciate versatility in a guy. He’s got a nice booty, too. Oh, and he sounds like he’s always at resorts. Everyone appreciates frequent flyer miles.

If YOU want to be the Manhunt Man of the Week (30 days Unlimited Membership FREE on Manhunt AND people will be wanking to your pics and that’s always flattering), click here. Remember – you need to have MULTIPLE hot pics, a cool profile, and some interesting answers to our Manhunt Questionnaire.

- J. Harvey

To meet DutchBoy28, Follow the JUMP:

Name: DutchBoy28

Age: 29

Location: Argentina

1) What was the hottest Manhunt hookup you’ve experienced so far?

Hottest Manhunt experience so far….. Was at a resort spa in Costa Rica. I was walking around just checking out the volcanic springs. I went to the top section where the water is the hottest and decided to stand underneath a waterfall and get a great hydro back massage. .. The next thing I knew this totally hot hot hot guy comes out of no where and stands beside me then lays back under this water fall.. I had no idea you could do that. Next thing there is a hand on my lower back…so when i reached back to see what it was …. my hand was grabbed and placed….. well I grabbed his cock. Lets just say that was a big surprise.. So of cource i had to lay back now, and besides sucking, playing and kissing under the waterfall under a volcano we couldn’t actually do much. I don’t think he was gay, but defiantly Bi. But then when you have someone’s cock in your mouth does it really matter.?
SO being a volcanic hot spring we couldn’t fuck in public…. had to take a break for a bit not to cause a scene. SO after parting ways and the having to walk around so no one would catch on . Took one of the side paths and asked a guy who works there if we could check out one of the private spa baths. He said yes , so we went off and fully enjoyed each others bodies in a more private space…..

It was right out of a porno and I could not believe I was in the middle of it. We didn’t fuck, but the oral and kissing and just playing with each others bodies still makes me hot today when i think about it.

I still wonder to this day being a Public Resort Hot spring and seeing a sign of ” Hidden Security Cameras” if it was caught on video. Would be kind of hot if it was. The funny thing is my friend was there with me at the Springs and actually caught the guy coming over and laying back under the water fall and the look on my face. …..caught on his Camera.
So at least I got a picture. I still think about that to this day. Im still trying to find him on Manhunt… he told me his profile name but I can’t remember. You on here?

2) What’s your favorite part on a guy?

Definitely the connection of the Thigh and the Waist. I love it when a man has great legs, and a great ass. Always a great ass.

3) Who do you think is the sexiest man in the world?

I think the sexiest guy in the world is the one you love the most. He could be anywhere, any culture, race, religion. I guess its all about what is in the eye of the beholder. Now I just need to find the guy or he needs to find me… You out there

4) What’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex?

The best was Under a Waterfall at Resort and Spa at the Base of a Arenal Volcano in Costa Rica at Tabacon Hot Springs

5) Does size matter?

Size matters as much as you want it to. It’s all about how its used. I have had hot experience with all different sizes.

Thanks, DutchBoy28! You are now the proud owner of 30 days FREE on Manhunt! Do we have any more future Manhunt Men of the Week out there? Introduce yourself!

For reasons we’re not allowed to divulge quite yet, there’s been a lot of talk about Colby Keller here at Manhunt headquarters. This nearly led to a fist fight when one of our cubicle neighbors revealed that he “didn’t understand” Colby’s appeal… UM, EXCUSE ME? To each his own, for sure! But you do not insult the most adorable man who ever lived!

Eventually, this misguided soul came around to the issue, transforming from Colby-curious to Colby-obsessed (maybe slight exaggeration) within a period of 24 hours. We’re so proud of him! The first video in this post played a small role in his learning process. As such, we felt the need to share it with you, in the event that any of you are still Colby-skeptics.

But this is Manhunt Daily, after all! We can’t just post a video of a fantastically handsome porn star jerking off in a bunny mask. This obviously has to be another lame poll, in which we force you to choose between two creepy rabbit videos. For the record, we have NO idea who the second guy is! None at all.

- Dewitt

Click through to watch both videos and cast your vote:

COLBY KELLER:

DANCING BUNNY (WHO, WE ASSURE YOU, DEWITT DOES NOT KNOW):

Dewitt refused to write this post. He was very sincere when he asked me to do it for him. He’s not feeling Ciccone. I’m fine with it. I like Madonna. I have been programmed since adolescence to give anything she does the benefit of the doubt. Sure, she’s a self-centered, megalomaniacal, crotchety twat. But who doesn’t like that in a gal?

Her new single/vid is “Gimme All Your Luvin’” and it dropped today. It’s just in time for her Superbowl halftime performance on Sunday. Complete with football-themed video! The “M” in Madge is for “Marketing Spider Queen”. For a breakdown, Follow the JUMP!

- J. Harvey

:10 – Some bullshit saying about “luv” and “players”. I hate when she tries to be hep.

:12 – If I were a straight dude, I would be all up in M.I.A.’s business. She’s hot. Nicki Minaj’s album was a favorite of mine (don’t tell Dewitt that, he hates when she’s doing anything except guest appearances on other bitches’ tracks) but she has gotten super-cunty annoying lately. I’ve also read that she’s an evil Naomi Campbell-esque diva in real life. Like, she’s smacked around assistants and physically attacked whoever is responsible for her nail sculpture in the past. M.I.A. is way hotter without all the styling trickery and seems like she has a better attitude.

:22 – M pushing a baby carriage cracks me up for some reason. I know she’s mother to three, but I find her to be the least maternal woman on the planet. Maybe it’s the shades and trenchcoat.

:26 – As Dewitt pointed out, M.I.A. looks like she would rather be at the gynecologist’s office than here. Selling out is painful.

:40 – Is that a shower of piss? She’s kinky (still).

:50 – She’s still got body. Legs. Enough with the crucifixes. Ever since you practically shoved one up you in the Blonde Ambition-era, I haven’t been able to go to church.

1:05 – I’m easily delighted so I thought her walking along the wall was nifty. Yes, shiny objects usually transfix me.

1:41 – Every friend I have who’s a Madge-hater just howled in despair and rage as she was shielded from the bullets. That’s totally Gaga with the tommy gun. M has been throwing major shade at her.

1:45 – She’s really mocking the motherhood thing. I’m kinda into it. Lourdes is at home thinking “That ain’t fiction, she really sucked. Why do you think I had to wait until I was 15 before she let me nix the uni-brow? She just didn’t want anyone to be as pretty as her in our family!”

1:50 – Climbing a mountain of men when she’s usually under that many.

2:12 – I think I’m missing the references here. Lace bodysuit, curly blonde wig, sluttery. An homage to Marilyn Monroe and to her 1980s self? Or was this just to make sure Nicki and M.I.A. looked ridic so they wouldn’t outshine her? What vodka is she selling in the background? Do I need to drink that many bottles to understand this? Also, all of the backup people are wearing those fetish masks that super-kinky transvestites wear that make them look like serial-killing dolls. Unlike.

2:25 – Ugh, Nicki’s delivery is starting to grate on my testicles.

2:53 – I think M.I.A. is using ASL to sign for help. Everyone cue up “Paper Planes” on their iPods and form a prayer circle for her.

3:11 – The “yeah, this vid is ridiculous, but I have billions of dollars, so fuck you.” look she shoots at the camera is priceless.

3:20 – The fetish cheerleader knocking off the football helmet is the best part of this video. She needs to have more Wendy O. Williams-type destruction in her videos. It would help her relevance.

It’s fine. Perfectly edible slice of pop. What do you think?

That sound you hear is (what’s left of) my soul slowly unraveling, as I watch this atrociously annoying video of Ricky Martin on Glee. It’s also the sound of Ricky Martin performing LMFAO‘s “Sexy And I Know It”, a song that needs to die unless Samuel O’Toole is shaking his ass to it in front of me. <– This actually happened. Ugh, it was glorious. I almost died, and I had to fight my desire to take a sketchy picture.

Yeah, that’s pretty much all I have to say about this topic. When does Smash premiere? It’s going to be terrible and involve way too many “feelings”, but at least I can squeal like an idiot every time Anjelica Huston‘s on the screen.

- Dewitt

Click through to watch Ricky Martin perform “Sexy And I Know It”:

Okay, but I guess I’d still have a threesome with these two:

This week, my bud Matthew at Naked Pictures of Your Dad kicked off a countdown of the “100 Hottest Men Who Ever Lived”. I had the privilege of voting as an out-of-town panelist, and I recently submitted a guest post about the #90 finisher Guy Madison.

As someone who doesn’t have an expansive knowledge about film/television actors, I had unfortunately never heard of Madison prior to this countdown. Alas, after a quick Google image search, I quickly regretted not checking him off on my “100 Hottest Men” ballot.

Don’t even get me started on that last picture. Too. Fucking. Cute.

- Dewitt

Click through for more pictures of this Hollywood god:

This is a bigger version of the same picture, with an annoying watermark:

You might want to click it and stare at his legs, no?

I’m off to a slow start this morning. While I prepare today’s edition of Flashback Friday and force J. Harvey to write about the new Madonna video, take a moment to stare at these pictures of Chris Evans on the set of a photo shoot for Details magazine. I’d write more about this, but I assume you’ve already stopped reading by now.

- Dewitt

Photo credit: Eric Ford / On Location News

Click through if you wanna ride Chris Evans’ cock: