I've always thought the King of Hearts was sort of fucked-up with his head-stabbing action, but did you know that he's the only king in a deck of cards who doesn't have a mustache?
Next time you're playing a game of poker, you can use this knowledge to impress a guy whose face you want to poke. Alternatively, you could just play strip poker, but then you'd have to deal with seeing everyone else naked. Of course, that might work to your advantage if you have a lot of hot friends…
– Dewitt
*sigh*