Hey, all you basic bitches! Did you miss me? Well, don’t fret any longer! Your faithful comrade in ARTPOP, Gay Evan, has returned to bless you with more delicate sounds from the mouth of Mother Monster. Although I have been bullied and called superficial for caring about the greatest masterpiece in pop culture and artistic history—instead of last week’s government whatever or the pretty cool (I guess) news about marriage equality in the worst state ever—my enemies and critics are not aware of the deep connection I possess with Ms. Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. We are spiritually connected in a way mere mortals could not even begin to understand.
Having established that for you lesser beings, I would like to introduce you all to Mother’s future hit single “Do What U Want”, which is a collaboration with Grammy award-winning R&B singer R. Kelly. It is undoubtedly the sexiest musical composition ever written, and now that I have finally given up my flower, I will be making love to it (with multiple partners at the same time, maybe in the same hole) on a nightly basis.
More importantly, Katy Perry could NEVER!
– Gay Evan
Listen to this stunning piece of creative work in the player below:
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Yawn
Fantastic