Christina Aguilera Barely Sings, Renders Lady Gaga Irrelevant!

OMG, you guys! Did you see the duet Christina Aguilera did on The Voice last night with Mort Goldman from Family Guy? I’m not saying that Monster Mother should call up her local graveyard and make early plans for her burial, but all my girl had to do was whisper in a microphone, and she pretty much SLAYED that pretentious bitch hooker.

Further reports state that Shitney Smears has canceled her Vegas gig, announced her early retirement and reclaimed her long-lost Cheetos bag, recently seen running from a recording studio and shouting, “I bow down to the true queen!”

Christina Aguilera fanChristina Aguilera emotionChristina Aguilera emotion

Haters can talk shit about how Christina hasn’t had a solo number one hit in the US since the turn of the millennium, but that’s just because dumb Americans don’t know good music when they hear it! (With the exception of Katy Perry!) Everyone just seems to completely ignore that “Show Me How You Burlesque” was a top ten hit in New Zealand, and “Your Body” was almost a hit in Canada!

LOL, also, why are the charts so important? It’s not like Beethoven ever had a number one hit! Christina Aguilera will go down in history as a vocal legend, and that’s all that really matters. Your faves could never sing the way she does, and they should probably all jump off a cliff together like lemmings.

Gay Skylar

Watch Christina Aguilera work it out on stage below:

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18 thoughts on “Christina Aguilera Barely Sings, Renders Lady Gaga Irrelevant!

  1. I heard the clip of the song and was in tears, when I saw the performance I almost hyperventilated. Her vocals cannot be denied. Beautiful song, Hope it goes #1

  2. Another hate-promoter. The media has always enjoyed creating rivalries, such as Beatles vs. Rolling Stones, or Michael Jackson vs. Prince, but it’s even worse with female entertainers. It’s almost like when you are a fan of someone, you can no longer enjoy the rest in the same generation. So narrow-minded, I think. At least the media does that to increase views or sales. What does a fan gain by hating? Unless this “writer” doubles as a funeral director, so by a very slim chance, with those who jump off a cliff like lemmings, he will be able to get some business.

  3. Ehh… it’s a performance and a song I won’t remember a couple of hours from now. Completely forgettable! Can we please get some musical critics on here who actually know good music?!?!

  4. Honestly I see Christina winning the voice this year. Matthew Schuler on her team is absolutely amazing. His voice is pure & damn near perfection. Anyways, now that that’s out of the way. Christina has always had a voice that’s been better than most in the music industry. She’s on par with the likes Whitney Houston, Aretha Franklin, Pattie Labelle & Mariah Carey. During the Disney pop boom of the 90’s she was legit while Britney was auto tuned all to hell. Same is still today with the likes of Miley Cyrus who is heavily auto tuned. Gaga does have a voice in reality, but it’s not as good as the cleaned up and tuned version that is on the radio. Christina Aguilera has always been able to do something none of the other pop stars she’s up against can’t. Turn off all the music & still naturally sound exactly like the radio edited & tuned version. Whether you like her or not she has always had that. I personally love Christina Aguilera & always have. I was listening to Genie In A Bottle while most other gay friends of mine were obsessed with Hit Me Baby One More Time. Beautiful is still one of the most, well, beautiful songs ever. For a while I even had the lyrics to Keep On Singing My Song printed out & taped to my bathroom mirror and read them everyday.

  5. Xtina (remember when she wanted to be referred to by that?) has an amazing voice, but she oversings everything — including this song. She seems incapable of singing even one phrase without a “gasp” of “emotion” appended to it. I just wish she’d sing the melody, without overdramatizing everything she comes in contact with.

  6. Yeah, I will definitely let someone who considers Katy Perry to be “good music” tell me what good music is….

  7. she over sang this??? really??? there was no riffing no melisma no runs and you claim she over sang she sang clear as shit here boy bye…fail

  8. she over sang this??? really??? there was no riffing no melisma no runs and you claim she over sang she sang clear as shit here boy bye…fail

  9. she over sang this??? really??? there was no riffing no melisma no runs and you claim she over sang she sang clear as shit here boy bye…fail

  10. I don’t like the author of this article. Very immature sounding. And I agree with the above comment.

  11. I don’t like the author of this article. Very immature sounding. And I agree with the above comment…

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