Does anyone else think fashion designer Zac Posen‘s entirely adorable? It was fantastic to see him slumming it on America’s Next Top Model last night. Honestly, I spent the majority of the episode wanting to scoop him up and put him in my pocket!
As for the rest of the time? I sat on my couch in my underwear, scratching my balls. After walking in a runway show with Posen’s designs, the seven remaining contestants filmed a commercial for an entirely fake beverage called H2T. Obviously, it was so high fashion that I couldn’t even handle it.
– Dewitt
Photo credit: Mathieu Young
To watch the commercials and read more about this episode, follow the JUMP:
1. CHRIS (LW – 5): Let’s ignore the fact that Chris looked like a total hot mess during the judging panel, and there’s no chance in hell that she’ll win this competition. The girl has personality up the wazoo, so it’s only natural that she’s going to win this round. She almost made me want to drink H2T! Or at least water my plants with it.
2. JANE (LW – 6): Earlier in the episode, Jane said something like, “Zac Posen’s great.” While the statement itself wasn’t particularly monumental, it confirmed what I already know is true–Jane is a robot. Her wealthy parents crafted her in a lab, solely so she could be beautiful and go to Princeton. She then moved on to defy their programming, applying for an absurd modeling competition on television…
Wait, I’m getting really off topic. What was I supposed to be talking about? Oh yeah, Jane’s commercial. It was surprisingly cute… for a robot.
3. CHELSEY (LW – 4): Does anyone else want to slap Chelsey and tell her to stop trying so damn hard? Maybe she’s just a terrible actress, but everything about this was so forced and plastic. Then again, I loved the way she flipped her ponytail. Just whip it, gurl! It’s like you took lessons from the master of hair-whipping, Willow Smith.
4. KAYLA (LW – 2): This was the point of the episode where nearly everyone wound up feeling like an asshole. Kayla expressed discomfort over kissing a male model, which led most of us to think, “Ugh, you already told us five or seven time that you’re a lesbian. We get it.” And then she went on to talk about how she was sexually assaulted. Cue awkward silence.
My favorite part of this commercial was when Kayla started making shit up. I’d love to drink a beverage with seven ingredients including acabi berry, guarona and gubana!
5. LIZ (LW – 1): On set, Nigel Barker slammed Liz for laughing after every line, as if she wasn’t taking this competition seriously. Um, I can’t even blame Liz for acting unprofessional in this situation. She’s doing a commercial for a completely fake product, named after one of Tyra Banks’ ridiculous catchphrases. Next thing you know, the contestants will be posing in a campaign for Smize-Thru-It Tampons…
6. ANN (Bottom Two, LW – 3): Can we set up a separate modeling competition for awkward girls who can’t speak in front of people? Ann takes such amazing pictures, and it’s a waste of time for her to be doing anything else with her life. Let’s just lock her in a room forever, dress her up in cute outfits and let people take pictures of her. Don’t worry! It won’t be inhumane, because we’ll let her eat all the Fried Oreos she wants…
7. ESTHER (Eliminated, LW – 7): Shit. Here I thought the producers were holding onto Esther, in the hopes that she’d shock everyone and do something incredible. As it turns out, she’s actually just a normal person. In other words? She’s boring by reality television standards, and they had to cut her loose eventually…
Skip to 1:17 to watch each contestant’s commercial.
I completley agree – Zac is cute as hell & I’d love to have my way with him & lick him up from heads to toe!!!! A-freakin’-dorable!!
I wonder how tall Zac is, because the girls seemed to tower over him.
I think the reason why Chris won was due to the fact that she knew how to Rollerblade before this, it seems that everyone else hadn’t done it in ages or forever.
I called Kayle being molested before she said it. It totally explained why she was so upset over having to kiss a man. Sad, I hope she does get the help she needs.
Zac I wanna be your intern.
And then your love slave.
And you’re never gonna read this.
Kayla FTW!
those girls need to eat a french fry! Thats disgusting…and as far as him…I wouldnt throw him out of bed for eating crackers..
No seriously most of these girls wouldn’t last a day, not to mention measure in, in the real industry.
If you don’t believe me, go check out the measurements of the top 50 on models.com or give me one good example of any ANTM winner that has a career that even comes close to the top of the industry.
I don’t know what it is, but I love Jane – she could probably turn me straight.
I’m on the zac train too. Very cute. In other news: did anyone else notice the resemblance between chelsey and blond ambition era madonna? Gap toothed and all.
Thanks for doing these updates. The show is terrible, but I like to read about it.
omgsh not to be mean, but I laughed So Hard when Ann fell at the commercial…mainly cause she always just complains about things (“oh I’m too tall to skate”….blah blah blah) & she doesn’t even try fully because she convinces herself that she’ll fail and so she did.
The sad thing is, she’s so pretty & takes great photos; but if she doesn’t step up her game and get some help with her confidence, I don’t think she’ll win….