You know those rumors about the world ending in 2012? I hear they made a movie about it or something. Well, forget what you heard about the Mayan calendar and other reasons supporting this prediction, because the real cause of our demise will be Oprah Winfrey's abandonment of network television. The final episode of her talk show will be airing on September 9, 2011. Expect the world to crumble shortly after.
Seriously, how are we going to survive in a post-Oprah world? I know she's starting her own TV channel, but it just won't be the same without insane automobile giveaways, Tom Cruise jumping on couches and verbally bitch-slapping fraudulent authors. I guess we'll just have to enjoy it while it lasts…
– Dewitt
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