An Interview With Conner Habib: Writing, Censorship & Future Porn Scenes That NEED To Happen

Writer, lecturer, and perennial porn pup Conner Habib stands out in the industry not just as a performer, but as a critic with a keenly tuned eye towards what makes it tick. As a porn star, Conner’s done scenes with Raging Stallion, Naked Sword, Channel 1 Releasing… And the list goes on and on. If you haven’t seen him recently, that’s because he’s been busy cranking out thought-provoking pieces on sex and relationships all over the web.

I had a chance to catch up with Conner and talk about his latest work, who he’d love to do a scene with, and why more people should “do it for the Vine”. (But he ain’t gonna do it.)

– Karsh

Photo credit: Titan Men

Find out what Conner had to say (and see more lovely pictures) below:

Conner! Thanks so much for talking to us. What’s new in your world? You’ve been pretty busy!

Hi! Everything’s new. I moved to LA and I’m finishing my book Remaking Sex (which is being published by my favorite countercultural media company Disinformation in late 2014/early 2015). I’m writing sex advice for Patti Stanger‘s blog. Things have shifted a bit. I’m focusing less on porn and more on writing and other media stuff. I’m not done with porn, though; I’m just taking a brief hiatus (which is always nice, because in a hiatus you can eat donuts.).

Very cool! Tell us more about this book!

The book is an everything-you’ve-been-taught-about-sex-is-wrong exploration of sex in history, science, politics, and more. It’s about pinpointing where, along the line, our culture got our screwed up ideas and attitudes about sex. We tend to think that our attitudes about sex are somehow inherent; like “that’s just the way it is!” But in fact, we can look at specific moments in time or specific concepts and say, Oh! That’s where we messed it up! So the book does a lot of that, and I also try to give some solutions to get us moving forward instead of being stuck.

Porn stars writing books looks like a trend now. The Maverick Men, Christopher Daniels, Nick Capra… Who says print is dead? While we’re on writing, let’s talk about your piece in The Stranger. What’s been the feedback from that?

It’s been overwhelmingly positive (though perhaps you wouldn’t know if you read the comment thread on the article itself). The essay is a sort of companion piece to an essay I wrote last year, “Why Do Gay Porn Stars Kill Themselves?”

With the essay in The Stranger, I was trying to get underneath the common fears and reactions people have surrounding porn. I used the word “hate” not because I feel like people are throwing bricks through porn stars’ windows, but because hate is a strong emotion without any ideological substance behind it.

So… What happened as a result of the article? Lots of people reached out and said, “I didn’t realize there was all that junk kicking around in my heart and mind about porn performers.” It seems to have helped people identify their shit. And in the piece there’s a little line about how I (and other performers) have a lot of that shit too — it’s not like we’re immune. So I heard a lot from other performers, particularly in straight porn. One of the most touching responses was when another performer sent me a message saying his ex-boyfriend had read the article and called him to apologize for the way he treated him.

I feel so blessed and grateful to be able to write stuff that has meaning for others. You write something, and you have no idea if it’s going to make sense to anyone. So it’s been really awesome, and I’m so thankful that it was so widely read.

Each one, teach one. What you said reminds me of a quote from an old BuzzFeed article you wrote: “Because sex is so compartmentalized — it’s often considered separate from the rest of life and hidden away — porn performers, who have sex publicly, are in a unique position to consider and talk about integrating private and public aspects of life.” Have your intellectual pursuits affected your porn career much? I know you mentioned you’re not doing as many scenes these days.

They’re totally intertwined with it and have been since the beginning. I’m always thinking, and I’m perpetually horny, so there’s bound to be lots of overlap.

I guess that’s as good a segue as any to talk about your porn work. (Hey, it is Manhunt.) I have to say, the scenes you’ve done with Joe Gage are some of your best. There’s a really special attention paid to chemistry between scene partners. What have been some of your favorite scenes?

Thanks! My favorite scenes have a lot to do with directors – and it makes sense that you’d point out the movies I make with Joe, because he and I have really similar minds. He’s all about set up, tension, and camaraderie between the performers. For me, camaraderie is totally erotic. To me, that’s not “straight” in any way — it’s the gay aspect of male friendship. So my favorite scenes are scenes I do with my friends. Joe gets that — he tries to create a sort of “we’re just buddies fucking” thing on set and in his movies. So After the Heist and Armed Forces Physical are two of my favorites for sure.

Is there anyone out there that you’d love to do a scene or two with?

Colby Jansen. Bravo Delta. Valentino Medici. There were some rumors that Steve Kelso might turn up and make some gay porn, but I don’t want to get too crazy thinking about how amazing that would be. So, yeah, Colby, Bravo, Valentino. There are tons of guys I’d like to do scenes with. I’m just naming off the top of my head. (And Colby is always right there!)

Can we talk about how smoking hot Steve Kelso is today? WOOF!

Yeah, he looks great.

You two would make a hot scene; you kind of favor each other too! And you’ve done scenes for MEN.COM, so maybe a Colby Jansen pairing is in the future!

I agree. Can you guys give Steve my phone number? Thanks!

Shifting gears here — how is the Vine petition going? Any headway there?

Well, it went great and then slowed down — same with most petitions. You hit hard and fast in the beginning and then you just go slow after that. The funny thing is, there’s almost no awareness about the Vine thing.

The other day I bumped into one of my favorite (non-adult content) Vine celebrities. We talked for a bit and I told him about it – He has hundreds of thousands of followers. And he had no idea! “Vine banned porn?” He was sort of gobsmacked. This is someone who makes money off of his Vines and is IMMERSED in that community. So he should have known, but he had no clue.

So I don’t think a lot of people know about it. They’re just like, “Hey, where did that porn vine I liked go?” The thing he DID say was that he noticed less people using Vine. Which is something I’ve heard a lot of people saying. So, the petition is still up. It’s been sent to the Vine offices, but we could always use more signatures, more support. Not to change Vine, per se, but to show them we do not support this decision.

I noticed Vine now has private messages, so maybe that’s a compromise?

Oh, I hadn’t seen. They deleted my account. But for me, no that’s not a compromise.

When I started drumming up awareness about Vine people kept saying, “You should start a Vine for porn!” It’s a good idea, but it’s a separate idea. To me, that defeats the entire point. The great thing about Vine was that it allowed you to be goofy AND sexual AND everyday AND artsy. The fact that there wasn’t a separation between sex and everything else was what made it great. The separation — like, sex is somehow separate from the rest of life — is what reinforces the attitudes that lead to censorship and shame in the first place.

You make a compelling argument there, sir! Lastly, as someone who’s been in the industry for years (and isn’t afraid to cast a critical eye towards it), what advice would you give for someone looking to become a porn star?

I’d say three things:

1. Make sure it fits into the context of the rest of your life. People will know. Future employers will know. Your family. Your boyfriends/girlfriends. If you can own it, go for it. But owning it is not “fuck you, so what, yeah, I’m in porn.” And it’s not “well, I just needed the money.” That’s aggression or apology. Owning it is knowing you’re doing it, enjoying it, being secure with the fact that you enjoy it, and helping others understand when they’re confused by it

2. Sexy and pretty are not the same thing. Someone can have an eight-pack and giant pecs, but that’s not “sexy”; that’s just pretty. Be yourself. If you have an eight-pack, okay great. But make sure, whatever you look like, to tap into whatever it is that makes you sexy, and don’t compare your body to other people’s bodies. Understanding your own sexiness – as opposed to trying to look pretty/buff/whatever – will help you stay grounded and secure.

3. Make your own! Studio porn is fun and has a whole infrastructure that makes certain things — sets, working with your favorite porn stars, etc — possible. But you can always make your own. Then you don’t have to worry about any of the business bullshit that comes with porn – and if you post it on the right site, you might make more money on it than you would with a studio. Of course, I love porn studios, I’m just saying there are other options for you that don’t involve a middle man.

Viva la homemade porn! Thank you so much for talking to us! I know your schedule’s busy, so it means a lot.

Thanks! It was nice chatting!

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Want to keep tabs on Conner? Be sure to follow him on Twitter – @ConnerHabib – or head over to his blog for more!

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