ANTM: Karolina Kurkova

The wise poets 3LW once said that “haters are gonna hate”. With that in mind, we’re going to continue along with our weekly recaps of America’s Next Top Model. The show may not be “straight acting” enough for some of you, but we can’t always be on the same page. Every single post on Manhunt Daily won’t appeal to every reader. Some of us like chubby guys, some of us like skeletal twinks. And some of us like talking about pseudo-fashion.

So let’s get this party started! Last night’s episode opened with a runway challenge, as the ten remaining contestants walked on a conveyor belt. Shortly after this, supermodel Karolina Kurkova stepped in to give the girls a few tips and appeared as a guest judge on the panel.

For this episode’s photo shoot, the models worked with father-and-son duo Eddie and Moshe Brakha. They were accompanied by performers from Lucha VaVOOM, a Mexican mask-wrestling collective. Who got into the ring and took the best shot? Who was sent home for their poor performance? Click through to find out!

– Dewitt

Photo credit: Matheiu Young

To read more about the episode, follow the JUMP:

1. ANN (LW – 1): Of all the pictures in the bunch, this is the only one that screams “fashion”. While everyone else looks like they’re appearing in an overly stylized deodorant ad, our girl Ann brought it to an editorial level. This was especially surprising, because she was beating herself up after the photo shoot…

In other news, this marks the first time in Top Model history when one girl begins on top and continues to win best photo for four weeks in a row. Let’s celebrate this milestone of an event with a semi-naked picture of Nigel Barker. This has absolutely nothing to do with Ann, but it will give you a huge boner. Long story short? Ann’s success = huge boner for you.

2. CHRIS (LW – 4): If Chris doesn’t get signed to a modeling agency after this competition, she should get a job on a show like VH1’s Best Week Ever. With little to no effort, everything she says is fucking hilarious. While she’s won me over with her poses, I’m just not seeing it in the face. Also, will this start a trend of jumping, a la Jessica in Cycle 14?

3. CHELSEY (LW – 9): No disrespect to Chris, but Chelsey should have been called before her. She jumped back after last week’s “Megan Mulally – drag queen” incident, and turned out an amazing shot! But will she always be living in Ann’s shadow? I guess we’ll have to watch and find out.

4. KAYLA (LW – 7): Work it out, my lesbian homegirl! Kayla turns out another decent shot for her already impressive portfolio. We’re still convinced she’s going to be the first openly gay winner of this competition, though she needs to step up her game before it’s too late!

5. LIZ (LW – 10): In preparation for the Halloween season, we thought we’d give you a huge scare! Just click the picture above, stare at Liz’s face, and you’ll be shaking in your boots before you even know it… All jokes aside, this was a little too intense, but it worked within the context of the photo shoot. Is anyone getting a “Victoria Beckham fighting off the paparazzi” vibe? Maybe it’s just the hair.

Liz would be much more likable if she stopped complaining and making up excuses. She’s been through enough in life that walking on a conveyor belt shouldn’t be a huge problem. This bitch needs to grow some ladyballs and pull it together. As the lovely Aminat once said, “If it ain’t cute, put it on mute”.

6. ESTHER (LW – 3): I’m not complaining or anything, but it’s amazing that Esther has made it this far. She’s only taken one good picture, and they haven’t really showed us much in the personality department. It’s a good thing she’s totally adorable…

Although the idea behind this pose could work, there needed to be more intensity in the face. Perhaps she should take a lesson from Liz? Honestly, I’m not sure how she didn’t have a better shot. Watching her on set, it seemed like she really brought it.

7. KACEY (LW – 2): How have they not called Kacey out for looking like a drag queen? Tyra Banks must be avoiding such comparisons, in fear that they’ll hurt her chances of another GLAAD award. To put it nicely, this bitch got saved by a pair of glittery boots.

8. KENDAL (LW – 5): Kendal, Kendal, Kendal! You are so fucking beautiful, and I’m just waiting for you to take an amazing photograph. You look absolutely stunning here, but the expression on your face is one-hundred percent “dead-itorial”. Can we talk about your inability to perform the way I want you to perform? Because it’s becoming rather frustrating.

9. JANE (Bottom Two, LW – 8): Barbarella? One of the girls from our Bi The Way series? Within a single week, Jane went from posing for Maxim to slutting it up for Leaky Beavers magazine. This is actually a good thing, because the judges have finally called her out for looking too sexy. Girl, you need to learn how to do ugly-pretty!

10. LEXIE (Eliminated, LW – 6): Even though I wasn’t a huge fan of Lexie, they really screwed her over in the wardrobe department. Her wig looks like it was snatched from Britney Spears’ head during the “shaved head” era, and the dress makes her look like an extra in an Avril Lavigne music video. Better yet, she’s not even on that level–a Kerli music video.

When it all comes down to it, Lexie never really belonged in this competition. She’s a cute girl with a great personality, but there’s nothing modelesque about her. Also, what was up with her dissing Kacey in her closing interview? Is that really how you want people to remember you?

AS PROMISED…

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