Why has it taken this long for the very essence of SPORTY PERFECTION to grace our “The Locker Room” feature? This is Alex Cheeseman. He is a London-born pro rugger for the London Wasps. He also has a modeling career and is a straight ally […]
Category: The Locker Room
The Locker Room: Joel Dreessen’s Bare Ass
Joel Dreessen is a tight end for the Denver Broncos who’s previously played for the New York Jets and the Houston Texans. You are about to see some pictures of his butt! There’s a really obvious “tight end” joke that we should probably be making […]
The Locker Room: The Sexiest Athletes of 2012
What a year it was for hot athletes! After all, we had the 2012 Olympics! I hope you didn’t allow yourselves to be distracted by that cunt Russell Brand destroying The Beatles and a Spice Girls reunion during that crazy opening ceremony. There were so many […]
The Locker Room: Matt Herzlich
Everyone loves a good underdog story. Matt Herzlich plays for the New York Giants, but very well might not have after being diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer in May of 2009. The lanky powerhourse was just about to enter his senior season […]
The Locker Room: CJ Wilson
An interesting fact about sexy Los Angeles Angels pitcher CJ Wilson is that he’s straight-edge. This means he abstains from alcohol and drugs. You never have to worry about him throwing up in your car or stealing your shit to afford pharmaceuticals (it happens). The […]
The Locker Room: Russell Wilson
Yeah, I’d totally let him hit it. Hit it hard. That’s Russell Wilson. He plays for the Seattle Seahawks. Every article I’ve read about him (of course I do research for “The Locker Room”, how dare you!) mentions how charismatic his ass. Yep. I can […]
The Locker Room: Henrik Lundqvist
Hockey has one major problem. The athletes are wearing WAY too many pads. They should really look to football for how to handle the pads dilemma. Sure, we want to protect our athletes but we also need to harness their assets. Namely – their asses. […]
The Locker Room: Miles Austin
Damn you, Kim Kardashian! Is there ANY player in the NFL that you haven’t tainted with your dag-nasty, Snuffleupagus ass?!? Every time I find a PAPABALLS (NEVA4GET) pro ball player to highlight here in “Locker Room,” I inevitably find pics of him with you! Does […]
The Locker Room: Scott Higginbotham
You may have heard that I recently tied the knot. Forget what you heard. I can’t have Australian rugger Scott Higginbotham hearing ANYTHING about that. On the SLIGHT chance that he’s gay, and on the slight chance that he visits Boston…well, all systems need to […]
The Locker Room: Wes Welker
New England Patriot Wes Welker looks fine from one angle, but then the camera catches him from another and he’s a fucking supermodel. He’s a wide receiver for the Pats, and he’s sorta like the anti-Tom Brady. Maybe not as straight-outta-the-chute handsome, but way less […]