Disco Lives On This Week’s Song of Summer Charts

Skeptics of the disco revival are going to be severely disappointed when they set their eyes on this week's Song of Summer charts. Apparently you took my threat from last week very seriously, because your votes pushed Shakira to the number one spot. I didn't realize there were that many guys who didn't like it rough, because I personally wouldn't mind being abused like a coffee machine in an office right about now. Just sayin'.

Our attempt to infiltrate the Song of Summer charts with a giant dose of cock failed miserably, so now we're back to the ladies. Adios to Green Day, Pitbull and Sean Kingston. A big "Hola" to two legendary gay icons and a eurodance sensation.

Are you new to this? Well, don't worry because we're completely changing the rules. It became apparent that it was difficult for some of you to choose just one song, so we're letting each of you vote for up to three selections. The catch? Only five of your choices will make it to the following week.

Why are we doing this? Well, for starters–we really want to get rid of those damn Lady Gaga songs. Also, we really hate seeing certain songs get voted out, so this will allow us to enact a "save a song" rule for the sixth slot. The four remaining places will be inspired by your suggestions, and if you're confused… well, you'll figure it out as we go along.

Don't see your favorite tune on the charts? Leave a comment and recommend it for next week! We've been known to entertain your ideas every now and then, much in the way we've been known to entertain our tricks.

– Dewitt

To see this week's charts and vote, follow the JUMP:

1. Shakira – She Wolf (LW – 3): Word is that the former First Lady of Argentina declared this song's video to be "sexy but classy". This led me to wonder if our current First Lady secretly jams to this in her well-stocked closet. A-woooo!
2. Whitney Houston – Million Dollar Bill (DEBUT): If the YouTube police took this down before this post goes up, you need to Google your ass off trying to listen to this song. The diva is officially back, and I believe this warrants a dramatically high debut. 
3. David Guetta f/ Kelly Rowland – When Love Takes Over (LW – 2): Just because we let Mama Crack-Den steal the number two spot, we want to make it explicitly clear that we're still rooting for Team Kelly. 
4. Madonna – Celebration (DEBUT): Madge would have debuted higher if this track didn't receive such a lukewarm reception when we posted it earlier. Not too shabby in our book, but is it the song of summer?
5. Mariah Carey – Obsessed (LW – 6): Eminem's response gave Mimi a temporary boost. We feel a little like Regina George in telling the lambs to "stop trying to make 'Obsessed' happen." Next single, please?
6. Lady Gaga – Paparazzi (LW – 4): OMG, did you hear the rumors about Gaga having both man and lady parts? They're ten times more interesting than this song, but we do think she really deserves a VMA or two for the video.
7. Britney Spears – Radar (LW – 5): Our feelings about this song's presence on the charts are expressed by the video we chose to link to. Funny enough, it's almost better than the song's actual video. Also, well… just also.
8. Taylor Swift – You Belong With Me (LW – 2): After she made such a strong debut, what happened to all the Taylor love? Y'all bitches have some serious commitment issues.
9. Lady Gaga – LoveGame (LW – 7): This beat used to be sick. Now it's just making me sick. Can she please just make another album so I don't have to keep hearing this tired ol' shit?
10. Cascada – Evacuate the Dancefloor (DEBUT): Based on what's previously done well on these charts, this has a pretty good chance of surprising us and jumping into the top five.