Doctor Queerlove: Too Much Gas in the Ass

 

Dear Dr. Queerlove,

I have this embarrassing problem. With certain guys, for reasons unknown to me, when they put their dick in and start going at it, I get an air pocket in my ass. Now the best way to describe this would simply be a male queef. If I don't expel it, the sex starts getting uncomfortable. How does one avoid this situation to begin with?

– InflatableButt

For Doctor Queerlove's advice, follow the JUMP:

This is a great question! Gay men love getting ass, but some of y’all have a serious fear of ass things. Accept that sometimes ass things (like a fart) will happen. And that’s ok!

Your question describes the situation perfectly. For everyone else’s benefit, what InflatableButt is experiencing is in fact the equivalent of a male queef, not a fart (at least not of the stinky, intestinal variety). An ass pounding can create air pockets that lead to a discomfort similar to the feeling you get when you’re gassy. That air has to come out so when the hole opens (like it does when a dildo, penis or fist is removed), BAM!, out comes a “fuck fart”. (Some guys, like InflatableButt, are able to hold it, but that intensifies the discomfort.) Not everyone is into the fart fetish, so I understand why you want to avoid them.

There are a few things you and your partner can do. Try different positions, specifically where you’re vertical and/or on top (i.e. ride ‘em cowboy, or do it standing). Avoid positions where your legs are wide open (like on your back) and where your ass is higher than your stomach (this guy is just asking for a fuck fart).

If you know your top well enough to discuss it openly, tell him not to pull all the way out when he’s ramming you. Every time he pounds back into you he is pushing more air into your anal cavity. (Someone tell Mary Murphy it works the same way with the head.) Even if he doesn’t pull all the way out, the faster the thrusts, the greater the likelihood that air will get all up in there.

It doesn’t seem your situation has anything to do with non-sexual factors, but for the purpose of educating the masses, let’s talk diet. Most everyone knows that fiber promotes anal health, including less gas, but keep in mind some foods may still cause gas: certain fruits, soft drinks, beer, and red wine to name a few. Also, intake of air into your body through behaviors such as yawning, gum chewing, smoking, and quick drinking could also make you gassy.

Lastly, you could always try going to the bathroom prior to sex, though I would strongly recommend against using an enema right before the deed, since it increases your risk for infections.

For any of you who pass gas/air after sex, try doing kegel exercises to tighten up your sphincter, which loosens after you’ve been pounded like dough. Kegels help you maintain your manhole’s elasticity (even after a visit from a magnum man).

Hopefully this will help alleviate your situation a bit. But at the end of the day, if you enjoy getting fucked like your ass is butter being churned by a crazed Quaker, fuck farts are going to happen. C’est la vie. If you feel one coming, just moan really loud.

Sexy advice like that really makes you want to pound some ass, eh?

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Got questions about things coming out? Maybe about things you want going in? Let the Doctor help with your ins & outs! Email Queerlove@manhunt.net with your mo woes.

DISCLAIMER: Dr. Queerlove is not a doctor, of any kind. Not even a Ph.D. in Reiki. So if you follow his advice and end up bruised, impotent and alone, you can’t sue us… because we’re telling you right here that you can’t.