It’s been a while since we’ve tackled the phrase “straight acting”. Those two words have been known to elicit a wide array of reactions, ranging everywhere from arousal to downright anger. You’ve seen people using it on Manhunt. Hell, you’ve seen people bitching about it on Manhunt. Wherever you go, you can’t really escape it…
In his latest edition of “Shut Up, Jasun”, blogger Jasun Mark (pictured above) confronts the old “masculine vs. feminine” debate. He winds up going on a rant about the term “straight acting”, all while touching upon the superiority and overcompensation of the men who define themselves as such. Watch the video, and let us know… Do you agree or disagree with Jasun?
– Dewitt
Photo credit: Gay Daily Hot
To watch a clip of Jasun’s rant, follow the JUMP:
Not only is saying “straight acting” so beyond ridiculous, so is any media outlet that has to identify someone as, “the gay mechanic that saved a life….or the gay teacher that won an award…” You don’t see a headline that ever says, “the heterosexual music instructor….” So quit that, and stop being straight or gay anything, just be yourself. If you are gay, great. The only time anyone needs to be aware of that is when you are about to sleep with someone or want a relationship, otherwise, shut up !!
i agree with everything he said,,,,,straight acting? r u an aspiring actor or something?
Totally agree with above…I am sick of this str8-acting term…if you are interested in and/or claim to be masculine vs. feminine then that’s fine but give up the act…Most times that I’ve encountered this from someone..it was an act/at least until the right moment and then the real person came out and it was hardly str8-acting..the term to me implies that it is an act/like the person cannot be who they are or that anything but this charade is wrong…In the gay community just like any other section of America, you have all types–feminine, masculine, bodybuilders, leather or bikers, bears and whatever else. I like when someone uses the term masculine personally since it does sound better. When did anything but masculine get such a bad rep-we’ve all seen the flamboyant type guys or DQ’s that they always show on TV trying to paint all gays like this, some guys are interested in this type of man…but is it wrong to be anything but masculine? If we are this harsh on people that are different than others then we are no different than the ones who bash the gays all the time. Gays are doctors, lawyers, neighbors, musicians, athletes and in every other segment…so why are we always the “gay” neighbor or the “gay” baseball player…we are people first not just always a label and certainly not always the joke or stereotype!
The “Gay Population has a lot of variety, and some men are just more Feminine then others, Society has taught us to Hate that side of Us,when we should be embraceing it. Society is not inclusive, so We the “Gay Community need to except every, Brother and Sister, LOVE is the answer
Blah blah blah – call yourself an oatmeal cookie for all I care. Seriously, I don’t care what term people use to call themselves. This whole “no labels” thing is a bunch of crap.
To me, “straight-acting” means they’re capable of pretending they’re not gay in public.
To me, “straight-acting” means they’re capable of pretending they’re not gay in public.
The term “straight-acting” is loaded with self-hatered and internalized homophobia. It’s not society that imposes this on us we as a sub-culture have bought into it as means of keeping ourselves oppressed and that is self-hatered.
I like what he’s got to say, and having been just myself for the last .. oh … so many years (mumble into coffee cup)… I must say
I am still single! LOL
But I like what he’s got to say
jasun well said dude i’m ovah the haters n bs as as an almost 30 yr old guy with a disability who fight alotta crap in life i’m here i’m queer and sick of u closet clutching so called str8 boys get a life
I consider myself to be more masculine than feminine (I definitely have my moments haha). But I am never flaming. I think that some guys who purport to be straight acting fall on the opposite side of the coin of guys who are massively flaming. Both become caricatures of people.
However I don’t think that most people who say they are straight acting are trying to be “actors” I think they mean to say they are more masculine, and they value that in a potential partner. They just aren’t caught up being politically correct and don’t overly care about offending a “fembot’s” feelings.
and now to address that last statement. Im friends with a couple guys that are a little more flamboyant than your average gay guy, and friends with some ultra straight acting guys. None of whom really bother me. what bothers be are “faggy” guys who go above and beyond. Guys who exude the kind of behaviors that aren’t acceptable for guys or girls to embody. We have all seen those trashy melodramatic chicks who wear trashy clothes and too much make up and generally just act ridiculous. My point is, that behavior from a human (boy girl or trans) is unnecessary and I think is generally just as much an act as straight acting muscle heads with gender roll confusion and insecurities.
I would never call my flamboyant friends “faggy”, or blah blah blah. because they don’t cross that line. And who am I to draw the line? no one I suppose. But if you want to be my friend and have my respect you will find it on your own. Don’t expect me to spare your feelings if you cant.
I agree, and I don’t care what Jasun calls himself. He is sexy as hell.
I don’t equate “straight acting” to heterosexuality. I equate “straight acting” as being honestly YOU with confidence (Normal?). I use that term in opposition to people who are so insecure that they ACT “flamboyantly” masculine or feminine. Those people are only trying to get attention but are being annoying, instead (IMO). Whether they are, men or, women or, homo or, hetero, they are ALL hilariously annoying to me and may even be embarrassing if they are representing the same group that I identify with.
I don’t like heterosexuals who ACT “flamboyant” any more than homosexuals who ACT “flamboyant”.
And, a lot of people are annoying in this world. LOL
have to agree with Mitchell..you really don’t hear the news or radio saying a straight person did this or a straight person did that. But if it’s someone who is gay, they seem to need to throw that part in. It’s like a gay person is not capable of being human. So it’s so and so who happens to be gay did this. I find it a slight turn off though when a guy that is gay flaunts it or shows it off. Like ” hey look at me..I’m gay!” so ya..who cares? Just be you and don’t flaunt it. We have enough straight guys doing that trying to be all manly.
I am who I am…I just happen to be gay. But does it really matter?
It’s also important to note that all straight guys are not “straight-acting” themselves…people who use that term to describe themselves are projecting what they wish they were instead of who they are. The very term implies being fake…and trust me when you are gay, it shows up in your personality or behavior characteristics one way or another, whether you define yourself that way or not
It’s also important to note that all straight guys are not “straight-acting” themselves…people who use that term to describe themselves are projecting what they wish they were instead of who they are. The very term implies being fake…and trust me when you are gay, it shows up in your personality or behavior characteristics one way or another, whether you define yourself that way or not
To Bill, Why would you want to pretend to be anything other than what you are in public, I am not saying that you have to go out screaming but in the same extent why pretend to be the op.
However I agree that “straight-acting” is a term I find annoying and ofensive. Why do some gay men think that the straighter they act the better they are and the more fem you are the inferior?? It´s something in the gay communty that I for one just don´t get.
Yeah the only straight i want in a gay guy is hi cock that’s all
Seeking….straight acting male for straight acting male , no fems !
can understand even in our cumunity we have all this differences, some times i feel so tired of this gay label,what a graet leson for younger gays of this generation!!!
Jasun u r so damn cute you can have me! 🙂
u r who u r attracted to thats it thats all just talk about yourself not ur sexuality i think you have already established that by joining a site called manhunt.
a perfect response! My thoughts, exactly! If someone actually has the gall to ask me if I am gay, my deadpan response is, “Are you asking me to have sex with you?” This always takes people off guard…and then they start sputtering about how that is not what they meant…do people really know what they are asking when they ask if a person is gay? Outside of sexual activity, gay and straight really don’t have any meaning, hence the “clinical” terms “heterosexual” (opposite sex) and “homosexual” (same sex)…outside of sex, men (and women) have a wide variety of physical characteristics, social behaviors, speech patterns, interests and hobbies, etc…so sterotypes are pretty much worthless…especially with the seemingly large number of “Metro-sexuals” out there…
a perfect response! My thoughts, exactly! If someone actually has the gall to ask me if I am gay, my deadpan response is, “Are you asking me to have sex with you?” This always takes people off guard…and then they start sputtering about how that is not what they meant…do people really know what they are asking when they ask if a person is gay? Outside of sexual activity, gay and straight really don’t have any meaning, hence the “clinical” terms “heterosexual” (opposite sex) and “homosexual” (same sex)…outside of sex, men (and women) have a wide variety of physical characteristics, social behaviors, speech patterns, interests and hobbies, etc…so sterotypes are pretty much worthless…especially with the seemingly large number of “Metro-sexuals” out there…
Oh…and one more comment to add to my above comment, which was getting long anyway (sorry, I can be rather verbose)…while I love masculine men (and prefer by sexual partners to be masculine men), I have no interest in “straight acting” men…if you are acting like you are “straight”, that means you are having sex with women, since that is what straight men do…I have no interest in a man who does not have sex with men, since I am a man!And for those of you who are married, or “acting straight” in public, and have any sexual contact with men (sucking cock, fucking ass, etc), you are NOT straight…so quite trying to act like you are…then again, how about we ALL get away from labels and start LIVING life, instead of trying to define it and put everything into neat little “compartments”…
I agree that the concept is dumb, but to each his own. How is identifying oneself as “straight-acting” any different than any other turn-on or fetish like “blue collar” or whatever? It’s just another thing that I don’t get but don’t hate on, haha.
I’d jump at the chance to prove to Jasun how not gay I am, though, preferably via his dick in my various holes.
Amazed at all of the ‘surprised’ feedback. Humans enjoy labeling things. In fact, we categorize just about everything. After all, to fear the unknown is also to be human.
“Straight-acting” is just a nice way of saying “masculine over feminine characteristics”. It’s much more easy to be indirect and filter people out with that term than to turn to someone and say, “Sorry, you act more like a woman than a man therefore I’m not interested.”
I personally don’t use the term but I do make sure to indicate that I am looking for passive/masculine men and not flamboyant ones. I do understand it’s easier to sum that sentence up in the phrase “straight-acting”, though.
So everyone, Straighten-Up and, Act Right ! O.K. ? ;-)lol
You’re on, bud.
Damn….I hate that I have to agree with Jasun. He’s on a message board I go to and he can be extremely annoying. But, damn…damn…damn…nicely put Jasun.
While I get Jasun’s point at the end about overcompensating and while I don’t think I’ve ever actually used the term ‘straight-acting’, I think it serves a purpose in identifying the type of guy I am and the type of guy I’m interested in.
I like playing and watching sports. I drink beer and wear khakis and polo shirts. I don’t sing show tunes, wear women’s underwear or makeup, or go around calling people “girlfriend.” But that’s the image that the media presents and, let’s be honest, that’s the image the majority of straight people probably have in their head when they think “gay man.”
I don’t identify with that and I don’t find that type attractive. So what’s wrong with me identifing with stereotypical “straight” things? Why is “straight-acting” bad but “masculine” okay–isn’t it playing off the same stereotypes? Where are the gay public figures like me who aren’t feminine or flamboyant or whatever, where the only thing “gay” about them is that they like having sex with other men?
I’m a 20 year old gay guy in Brisbane and the worst thing I’ve noticed with the Brisbane gay community (I can’t speak for other places cause I haven’t BEEN to other places) is how fast people are willing to reject you if you tell them that you don’t “classify” yourself as either “straight-acting” or “fem”; that you’re both. I admit that at times I can be flamboyant, specially when I’m hanging around my female friends, but I also have a tendency to show some of my more masculine traits around them as well. I don’t reserve my more feminine characteristics simply for my female friends nor do I act more masculine around my male friends; I’m simply “ME” around both groups of friends, whether it’s masculine or feminine.
My point is, the many guys I’ve met won’t give you the time of day unless you’re either masculine OR feminine. They can’t seem to grasp the idea that some people aren’t able to have both the characteristics; that some are in the middle of the “straight-acting/feminine” spectrum. It just get’s annoying when you get rejected for being you and not adhering to the labels that often forced upon you. If simply being gay and coming out to all your family and friends isn’t hard enough, now I have to worry about whether or not I should risk my personality just for some guy. Oh the dillemas of a young homosexual!
What is “being Gay” and what is “straight acting”? I think those two labels try to contrast between two or more groups among men. Anatomically we are male but the degrees of separation becomes clear when we present the subjects of SEXUALITY and LIFESTYLE; by sexuality I mean gay, bi, straight, asexual, ts, tv etc. It is very easy for a person to classify himself about his sexuality.
In my understanding the problems arises when a subject of lifestyle is concerned. First, it is not imposed for a man if he is gay to live a gay lifestyle, or if straight to life a straight lifestyle in respect to the constraints of the society he lives. Sexuality as well as lifestyle of a person may shift from one side of the spectrum to the other: for some people both variables are not fixed to one spot and they do tend to oscillate within a spectrum due to social, psychological and economic factors during the lifetime. After all there is no just gay or straight lifestyle, they both share some common characteristics among males. Those who are identified as “straight acting” tend to share more personalities and behaviors with there heterosexual counterparts. One thing to understand is, it comes naturally for them, there is no “forcing to fit-in” as to speak, they act that way because it is what they like and make them comfortable just like anyone else act and behave in the way that fits their purpose.
We need to look on the term “Straight Acting” with an open mind if we want to understand it in depth. Straight acting does not have a one-on-one relationship with the sexuality variable, but rather a very loosed coupling. It is more of a lifestyle factor where it describe that man does not expose/ or do lack the mainstream queer personalities. There are many groups inside the gay subculture (queer, bears, straight acting, etc), but visiting to the straight acting category, the problem is not the sub-group but rather the LABEL. Some homosexuals frown on the terminology since it create a short memory of the perceived straight world in their mind. If the term(straight acting) is changed to something else more appealing to LGBT, will everyone be happy without repulsion?
In my personal opinion:
There is too much pressure in the LGBT to conform to strong controlling labels amongst is Queer (call it flamboyant if you like). The queer group (and their allies) want to re-define what “being gay” is in respect to what it seems fit to them. But what they fail to understand is not everyone has to conform to their agenda in order to be gay. Some do live a slightly different lifestyle. Straight acting group does exist among us and we need to embrace the difference and not spit on it.
Psychologically, the anger is fueled deeper in the subconscious mind of an individual when a world “straight Acting” is processed in his mind since it remind him of the part of the society that he does not want to take part in/associate with: Straight people.
Well written and you correctly touched upon the key factor that causes the ‘repulsion’ amongst homosexual individuals.
We already have many labels thrown at us: many of them distasteful to the community itself and given to us by people outside the community. Most of the labels have negative connotations associated with them and are far from what we as a community want to be.
It’s only natural to react negatively to yet more labels that seek to integrate us with ‘mainstream’ straight society. There probably is some subconscious rejection based solely upon the term and its relationship to what is mainstream.
Just as closeted individuals (“down-low” or some reiteration) are often frowned upon by individuals of the same community, people who want to ‘act straight’ yet retain the gay label probably receive the same reaction.
I’m surprised how balanced this Jasun guy was…. he just came across as a very clear-minded, which was very attractive…. no pretenses, just being who he wants to be, which is complex… sometimes he seemed butch, sometimes he was queeny, and other times all the other things in between…
his suggestion was right on too…. though I do know some folks in the community that become what they want to have (I have a muscle queen friend that told me that), I think the majority of us want what is opposite of us, and maybe a few of us (me) are open to just about anything…
if someone is nice, and polite, and hard working, and smart, and happy, that is 90% of what attracts me to them….. everything else is just the icing in the proverbial cake… and I for one do not have a favorite icing flavor…..
What I’m kinda trying to say is that it’s totally Ok to be naturally masculine. But don’t try to suggest that being so makes you something other than gay. There’s plenty of gay men out there who are manly and masculine and play football. It’s just very tiresome to see someone who goes overboard and tries to shoehorn themselves into a straight stereotype just to impress people with how few people can tell they’re gay.
Or… something, I don’t know I’d only had one coffee that morning. Get off my dress.
If it’s any consolation, I left that forum a month ago and nobody noticed.
We noticed…there a thread asking what happened to you.
A very balanced discussion indeed. Being a Brit living in Australia and raised in Asia I wasn’t aware that there was an issue with the term “straight-acting” until I said it to an American friend of mine last year, who just about erupted! Clearly this is a bigger issue in the U.S. than anywhere else and I think you’re probably making a bit more of an issue of it than is necessary. Labels are labels and most of us feel more comfortable being able to categorize people accordingly. In my mind the term “masculine” implies chunky, bear-like qualities (I realize that everyone will interpret the word differently). I guess the term “unaffected” pretty well defines what I like in a man. When I was in my early teens and coming to terms with my sexuality and occasionally had my camp moments my mother would say “don’t be so affected” and I knew exactly what she meant! While I know that people cannot control the pitch of their voice, the offensive attitude that comes with a lot of affected individuals has given rise to the term “bitchy queens” and seriously guys, who wants to hang out with that kind of attitude. Give me a straight-acting guy over a queen any day.
why can’t guys just say the are maculine why does it have to be an act
you don’t see feminine lesbians call themselves straight acting
Add this to the list of rather harmless things to bitch about. If a smoking hot guy messes up and uses str8 acting instead of masculine. I would like to see how many of you guys pass him up.
I could do a very long rant on this subject that would take most of you an hour to read. But, I shall do something different.
Most men who use the term “straight-acting” tend to be the biggest queens. 😛
HA! No, I totally agree. And like I said, the overcompensators drive me nuts too. Shakespeare had it right: The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
His entire video is spot on…especially about the attractiveness of confidence.
When I’ve run into gays who use that ridiculous “I’m straight-acting” thing, I ask them: “What are you like when you’re not ‘acting?’ RuPaul?”
Why is it that only flamers like this Jasun guy are the only ones always complaining about this issue? Could it be because they couldn’t get it so they ridicule it instead? Ironically, the ones who keep on complaining about it betray their own resentments, prejudices and insecurities. If you’ve had one too many rejections, you tend towards pathetic sourgraping. The one who wrote the letter/question to him is very typical.
I tend to agree with “Not Enough”. I also think we just need to eliminate the extremely loaded word “straight-acting” for the more appropriate term “masculine”. The former term may truly apply to those who employ a certain facade but should not be applied to those who genuinely don’t fit the gay stereotype, which I believe is the majority. Why do gay men just have to be one thing? Just because somebody has more masculine taste doesn’t mean he’s “trying to act straight” just as somebody who loves going to gay clubs and loves Lady Gaga and Madonna does not equate to “staying to true to his gay self”. Maybe that is just their nature and has nothing to do with who they like sleeping with? Is it not possible to love sports, Rottweilers, fixing cars and be a gay man who is true to himself? Or to love wearing nice clothes, smelling nice and, yes, even Lady Gaga and be straight?
We all need to stop boxing other people who don’t fit into our own ideas of stereotypes just to make ourselves feel better about our perceptions of our own inadequacies. Cuz that’s what it all really boils down to: “They think they’re ‘straight-acting’ but they’re really just flaming queens just like the rest of us because they suck dick.” (If you think about it, that’s just a series of ridiculous non-sequiturs.) And yes, I’m also talking to those who deny bisexuality! We all don’t realize that the same thing straight homophobes are doing to us we are also doing to those within our community that don’t fit our own fixed ideas on how one should “act” when most people are not even really “acting”; they’re just being themselves.
OK, I’m totally baffled. You start out calling me a “flamer,” which I’m not really sure is accurate in any definition of the term, say I’m not getting laid (when I’ve been married for years) and then go on to agree with all of my points.
Jasun, listen to yourself on the video. You actually admitted it yourself even. I apologize for calling you that term – which I did due to my irritation – but although you do have the stereotypical masculine voice, you have to know that your flamboyant mannerisms and way of talking “announce” your “gayness” to the world. (Whether or not that in itself is part of the stereotyping that we are railing against is beside the point because you are gay anyway.) And again, there’s nothing wrong with it; it’s just you as we both agree.
Although we are in agreement with your conclusion, no, I did not agree with everything you said especially for the first two thirds of the video (minus all the unnecessary side-tracking that made it hard to get the point you were originally trying to get at). The way you went to that conclusion, you tried to put down guys whose tastes are very masculine as being all part of an “act” and being “calculated”. (The part about choosing dogs in particular got to me because my bf happens to have a pit bull.) Believe it or not, there really are gay guys out there who do not just “like” masculine stuff in order to project a certain image to others but because they truly like them by nature just as much as they like sucking cock. And it doesn’t make them any more “straight-acting” than whatever you think others perceive you to be.
Also, it is UNDENIABLE that the biggest reason for homophobia and all its consequences (i.e. gay marriage ban, DADT, bullying etc.) is the association of particular negative characteristics to homosexuality not because they are the majority but because they happen to be the loudest and most flamboyant images that the public at large see. At the end of the day, characters like Perez Hilton will HAVE to be blamed for purveying exactly these negative stereotypes that make it hard for us to be perceived in a more positive light. Not saying that they are the be-all-and-end-all but they do have a huge impact.
I feel like this guy gets it, and I wish more did. I’m an openly gay black guy and I consider myself half and half, with the black community we love hair so sometimes I’ll slick my hair back, part it to the side if I want to be more conservative, or i’ll put it in a curly rocker-type mo-hawk, lately my hair has been in a pixie cut as of late. I’m smooth, slim and toned I take good care of myself but I don’t like to obsess to the point of nic-picking about my body, I just try to be more healthy. When people look at me and see the hair and a slim black guy they automatically think, Queen or bottom, which I am none of those things (all top here) but even if I was “A Screaming Queen” if that person isn’t bothering or hurting anyone, and he’s just loving life then who fucking cares. I hated the term straight-acting, and the guys that claim that (I call them Meat-ball heads) for so long because it just describes the type of guy who is extremely judgmental towards gay men, and guys like myself, who are so deep in the closet, who think that they have a beard, or are hairy or, like/play sports or all of these superficial supposed tags that “that” is what a “Real Man” should be, who think that they are what the definition of a gay man should be and anything outside of that is just a bitch or a chick – there for doesn’t exist. So when I see guys like that I’m automatically put off in my mind. I just moved to Chicago so I’ve seen more meat ball heads than i’d like. To me being a REAL man is not about what you look like, or how you carry yourself, or if you drink beer or “the jock you pretend to be” it’s about “WHAT YOU STAND FOR”, and “MATURITY, YOUR-SELF RESPECT, LOVE FOR YOURSELF/LOVE FOR OTHERS.” I’m very open to get to know someone for who that are, but only if they can do the same for me, and I would like to find a nice cut young white guy that feels the same as I do. All I see is a lot of internalized homophobia, self hatred, fear, and a deep hatred towards women. I see it in how the media portrays gays and how we in the media portray it in ourselves, from the porn we buy to the clubs we go to, I know we have a long way to go, but also instead of focusing so much on equality/marriage we as gay men “need” to focus as much on taking care of ourselves and learning acceptance within because how can we aspect others to accept us if we can’t even accept ourselves first.
I feel like this guy gets it, and I wish more did. I’m an openly gay black guy and I consider myself half and half, with the black community we love hair so sometimes I’ll slick my hair back, part it to the side if I want to be more conservative, or i’ll put it in a curly rocker-type mo-hawk, lately my hair has been in a pixie cut as of late. I’m smooth, slim and toned I take good care of myself but I don’t like to obsess to the point of nic-picking about my body, I just try to be more healthy. When people look at me and see the hair and a slim black guy they automatically think, Queen or bottom, which I am none of those things (all top here) but even if I was “A Screaming Queen” if that person isn’t bothering or hurting anyone, and he’s just loving life then who fucking cares. I hated the term straight-acting, and the guys that claim that (I call them Meat-ball heads) for so long because it just describes the type of guy who is extremely judgmental towards gay men, and guys like myself, who are so deep in the closet, who think that they have a beard, or are hairy or, like/play sports or all of these superficial supposed tags that “that” is what a “Real Man” should be, who think that they are what the definition of a gay man should be and anything outside of that is just a bitch or a chick – there for doesn’t exist. So when I see guys like that I’m automatically put off in my mind. I just moved to Chicago so I’ve seen more meat ball heads than i’d like. To me being a REAL man is not about what you look like, or how you carry yourself, or if you drink beer or “the jock you pretend to be” it’s about “WHAT YOU STAND FOR”, and “MATURITY, YOUR-SELF RESPECT, LOVE FOR YOURSELF/LOVE FOR OTHERS.” I’m very open to get to know someone for who that are, but only if they can do the same for me, and I would like to find a nice cut young white guy that feels the same as I do. All I see is a lot of internalized homophobia, self hatred, fear, and a deep hatred towards women. I see it in how the media portrays gays and how we in the media portray it in ourselves, from the porn we buy to the clubs we go to, I know we have a long way to go, but also instead of focusing so much on equality/marriage we as gay men “need” to focus as much on taking care of ourselves and learning acceptance within because how can we aspect others to accept us if we can’t even accept ourselves first.
Um… OK.. Maybe you didn’t get what I was saying? See… if you actually like pit bulls (like my third dog), then great… but if your whole being revolves around trying to convince people how not-gay you are, you suck.
You know the kind… the guys who wear A&F and drive a jeep and blast their Bruce Springsteen and talk way too much about how much they like football and brag constantly about how shocked everyone is that they’re gay? You don’t find that calculated and fake and annoying?
I listen to metal, own two motorcycles, lift weights, like hockey (I’m Canadian, I have to, I’ll lose my citizenship) and drink scotch but I do those things not because I’m trying to convince anyone that I’m masculine but because I like them. I also have the Xanadu sountrack on vinyl, CD and iTunes. Fuck with me.
And… at what point was I “flamboyant?” Because in my video series (an intentionally self-parodying series called “shut up, Jasun”) I’m intentionally self-parodying? Really? Making myself the butt of most of my own jokes is “flamboyant?”
( do find it kinda funny that you got your panties in a bunch about your BF’s dog. Grow some skin, Mary)
:-
if there is “straight-acting,” then there also has to be “gay-acting.”
how does one correctly quantify “gay-acting”?
Jasun, you’re very obviously gay. I tried showing your video to my friends to make an informal poll and it was 100% hella yes just on the first few seconds. You also don’t have to enumerate all the things that make you so “masculine”. We get it…*wink*…And that is what made your whole thing all the more ironic…ranting against something you yourself do not see about yourself.
Anyway, we all know what you were referring to but your mistake was in NOT qualifying your statement as only covering those guys who intentionally are being calculated (and in my first post I made it clear to delineate them). I know they exist — it’s probably because of different kinds of people we hang out with but I rarely see that kind — but you should make more effort not to generalize next time. You made it seem like ALL guys who like masculine stuff (I only made my bf’s dog as the prime example because it was personal) ARE being poseurs; they’re not. I don’t think most guys who claim to be straight-acting are necessarily denying they’re gay. Here’s your problem: You’re trying to conflate mutually exclusive concepts that only paradoxically emphasizes these stereotypes you were complaining about. GENDER IDENTITY is separate from sexual preference/orientation.
Now, now…don’t get too upset. Your posts just betray the one who has more to prove to others than you intend. QED.
Wait wait… you have friends?
Ok, now I know you’re full of shit.
Wait wait… you have friends?
Ok, now I know you’re full of shit.
LMAO, that’s all you can do? Does it really sting that much? I can smell hypocrisy and defeat when the other resorts to the ad hominem.
Face it, you have a problem with fems and how you are perceived by others yourself under the pretense of being so “masculine and cool about everything”; that’s why you’ve been so defensive about your own “masculinity” even as I was trying to discuss our main argument. I take back that mini apology. My first statement still stands.
Well.. except no… I’ve not claimed to be “masculine” or “cool about everything.”
You keep trying to call me names like “flamer” and “flamboyant,” neither of which fit, either. I’m just a guy. Just a guy who doesn’t feel the need to cower in anonymity behind names like “Dr. Feelgood” or “Jesus Christ,” throwing out silly attacks for attention.
Oh yes… I know, I know… you assembled all of your “friends” to watch video of the shirtless guy who does silly youtube videos talking about gay issues to see if they could tell he was gay. And MAN, he was such a faggot that they were all like “GGIIIRRLLL!!!” and then you all toasted yourselves with appletinis and played with your Pitt Bulls. Or something.
then you end with some odd “FACE IT!!!” and then say I have a problem with “fems” although my rant was about guys who over-compensate for being gay… which would mean I have a problem with guys who brag about how manly they are…
And someone clearly has a problem. But it sure ain’t little old me, honey.
LOL! Still so defensive and transparent. How pray tell does your continued touchiness about being called fem (when I clearly said from the start that it’s OKAY) and repeated enumeration of your “masculine traits” (when nobody asked for them) not look like a desperate attempt to in fact “shoehorn” (borrowed your fave word) your “masculinity” into people who see through you?! We DON”T believe it. If my so-called attacks are so “silly” and off-base, then why are your feathers so ruffled?
Yes, we do have a problem. With hypocrisy. But we love irony and unintentional comedy. Honey yourself. And keep making your videos, and batting your eyelashes, and snapping your head as you make your corny jokes in your ever bitchy-queeny style (no matter how low your voice is); none of which I see in straight and genuinely masculine gay guys. And it’s STILL okay. Stop being so sensitive about it.
P.S. I just found out you actually direct for Jake Cruise and Sg4ge. We love those videos!!! Keep up the good work. 😉 And keep ’em cumming. lol
Let’s take it back to the original topic, I wholeheartedly agree with Jasun. I too have a hard time tolerating the so-called “straight acting” gay man. I always wonder whom they are trying to fool. As one of my female friends once said: “No matter how much iron they pump and how large they grow their muscles, most woman can tell that they’re NOT straight” probably because of all the muscles they grow, the clothes they wear, the studied swagger and of course the total lack of interest in their eyes when a woman walks by.
Let’s be honest when you look at the behavior and presentation of the average straight man [I’m not talking about these convoluted “Metro sexual” guys] and compare it to the “straight acting” gay man it doesn’t take a rocket-scientist to tell who is straight and who is gay.
I’m one of those people who can go to the gym every day, stick to a strict diet and still fail to put on weight or develop those big rippling muscles. I’m well built but slim, but as we all know: Mother Nature has a twisted sense of humor. For this small [5’8”, 128 pound] person has a very large p***s [who would have thought?] anyway, in my experience the moment these “straight acting” men see me under the shower they seem to forget that they don’t like small, slim guys and if I agree to a date [that was before I met my partner] they are the first to throw their legs up in the air begging to get f****d. I never had a problem with that but it always made me laugh because of the paradox in their behavior. Big, butch, über man-about-town but a hungry, quivering bottom-boy in the bedroom, go figure!
Message: “Straight acting” is just that; an ACT.
Is it so difficult to accept that, like the straight men, gay men come in many different shapes and forms? Some are more the rough and tumble type, others are rather average and then you have the more effeminate types. Whatever type you are, I prefer you to be who you are instead of putting on an act.