Ethan Kaplan Says Fuck Melanoma, “Let’s Just Tan!”

Let’s slather ourselves with oil and toast in the sun like sausages! Let’s lay our bodies down on those glowing tanning beds and bake like cookies! Ethan Kaplan is a gay rapper and he could care less about that skin cancer mumbo jumbo. Everyone should look like Snooki and be so tanned that the whites of their eyes set back into their orange faces terrify children with otherworldliness.

This is a satire. I’m assuming so because at one point Ethan is catching rays with Darth Vader. It’s awful, but still way better than this.