Fuck, Marry, Block: Guys From Christmas Movies

Ooooooooh, we are STRETCHIN’ this holiday season to fulfill our Manhunt Daily feature requirements! Being a cunty Scrooge of the highest order, the only holiday movie I enjoy (besides Charlie Brown) is the George C. Scott-version of A Christmas Carol. Why? Because their version of Marley’s Ghost scared the ass off of me when I was a kid. Holy shite! And he unties his jaw and it drops open like in the book with a weird creaking sound? FUCK! I had nightmares! I cried over my presents that year because I was scared he was gonna show up with his boxes, chains, bandages and wide-eyed “shit sucks cuz’ I was a miserly dick when I was alive” stare to kill me!

*ahem*

Here are some guys who have appeared in a Christmas movie. One of em’ you need to just stick the candy cane in (or get his stuck in YOU), one of em’ you need to make that mistletoe moment into a marriage, and one of you need to stuff coal up his ass via your Manhunt profile. BLOCK. Let us know in the comments section.

– J. Harvey

RALPHIE! (Peter Billingsley from A Christmas Story)

Jude Law (The Holiday)

Bruce Willis (Die Hard – shut up, it took place on Christmas!)

274 thoughts on “Fuck, Marry, Block: Guys From Christmas Movies

  1. Fuck Bruce Willis when he was younger. Now, not so much…
    Fuck and Marry Jude Law. It’s Jude Law.

    Jude Law.

    Fuck and maybe have a battle of the “Christmas Spirit” (heh) with Peter to marry.
    He was adorable then, and he’s grown even more adorable now.
    ^Is that proper english?

  2. I believe so. I think technically you can’t end a sentence with words like “now,” but only English majors need worry about that level of detail.

  3. I used to date an English major. Maybe if I paid attention to him the sex would have been better when he used words like “stimulate” and “uvula” and “adult onset diabetes”…

    …he tried to make me laugh. I did at the parts when he was serious.

  4. I used to date an English major. Maybe if I paid attention to him the sex would have been better when he used words like “stimulate” and “uvula” and “adult onset diabetes”…

    …he tried to make me laugh. I did at the parts when he was serious.

  5. P.S. I looked up the 1984 version of George C. Scott “A Christmas Carol” just to check out Jacob Marley’s ghost. I guess back then when movies were made with that Ghostbusters feel it would have been scary. Now it has that “Aw remember when movies were made this way?” feel.

  6. P.S. I looked up the 1984 version of George C. Scott “A Christmas Carol” just to check out Jacob Marley’s ghost. I guess back then when movies were made with that Ghostbusters feel it would have been scary. Now it has that “Aw remember when movies were made this way?” feel.

  7. FUCK Bruce he would be a hot bottom and probably let me flip fuck he can still fuck me any time…

    Block Jude, the cheating bastard on his wife, Ah..he can DIE

    Def, DEf, DEF!!! Mary Ralphie…HOT HOT HOT

  8. FUCK Bruce he would be a hot bottom and probably let me flip fuck he can still fuck me any time…

    Block Jude, the cheating bastard on his wife, Ah..he can DIE

    Def, DEf, DEF!!! Mary Ralphie…HOT HOT HOT

  9. Fuck Jude (as much as I love him, I suspect he’s not the faithful type). Marry Ralphie. Block that arrogant creep Bruce.

  10. Fuck Jude (as much as I love him, I suspect he’s not the faithful type). Marry Ralphie. Block that arrogant creep Bruce.

  11. You should have included Colin Firth or Hugh Grant from “Love Actually”.  That is totally a Christmas movie!

  12. You should have included Colin Firth or Hugh Grant from “Love Actually”.  That is totally a Christmas movie!

  13. Fuck Jude Law. Marry Jude Law. Fuck him again, and again (and maybe flip it a little for that fuzzy chest : ) ).

    Block the other two. Sorry bros.

  14. the eyes got me –  I want to fuck and marry in either order Peter.  His eyes are so sexy.  the other two   you can give to the Salvation Army  for some  needy  and lonely gay  man.

  15. the eyes got me –  I want to fuck and marry in either order Peter.  His eyes are so sexy.  the other two   you can give to the Salvation Army  for some  needy  and lonely gay  man.

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