Fuck, Marry, Block: JLo’s Exes

Jennifer Lopez recently split with hubby Marc Anthony (something about a flight attendant?) and it got us to thinking. How many times HAS her expansive ass been married? The answer is three! Lopez divorced Ojani Noa in 2008 (he’s currently suing her gigantic culo for not letting him release a tell-all book about her, but really – who gives a shit what she was doing in 1998?). Lopez off-loaded her next husband, back-up dancer Cris Judd, in 2002 when “Bennifer” was in our faces every day. “Bennifer” = “J-Lo with Ben Affleck.” And then we come to Marc Anthony. She had a good run with him – seven years. But three husbands means we get to play “Fuck, Marry, Block!” Which one of Ms. Lopez’s exes would you fuck, which would you marry, and which would you block?

– J. Harvey

To see pics of the gentlemen in question and for a link to their Wikipedia profile to get to know them, Follow the JUMP:

Ojani Noa:

Cris Judd:

Marc Anthony:

31 thoughts on “Fuck, Marry, Block: JLo’s Exes

  1. Right in the same order their photos are posted: Fuck, marry, block. I think Marc Anthony resembles the crypt keeper… How he kept her for this long is a mystery to me! LOL

  2. Ugh, except for Marc Anthony, J.Lo has married some losers, ey?

    This should be easy

    Mark = marry
    Chris = kill

    The one left = fuck

  3. I’m not all that ready for any of the three. In fact, I think I’ll pass on them all. 

  4. Fuck Ojani, he’s hotish. Marry Mark, he’s rich and latin. Block Chris, don’t see anything good there

  5. Ojani is the only good looking one of the lot.
    As for JHo.
    She is a total low life.
    I hate her with a passion.

  6. cris is the only decent looking one of them all..the first guy from the first & second pic dont look like the same person LOL..

  7. Cris Judd was probably the best of her husbands: certainly the cutest one, and reportedly the nicest.

  8. Block Ojani
    Fuck Chris
    Marry Marc…that lil papi gots a huge dick!

  9. Marry Chris. Block Marc. Don’t do hook ups, so I guess that leaves Ojani out for me…

  10. next…. she said he’s not doing what he’s suppose to do ….. what it mean ?????? 

  11. The only hot one is the one that got away…Ben Afleck.  Chris Judd probably has a hot bod, but the other two are not interesting at all.  Marc Anthony is scary looking.

  12. I’d block the lot of them. the one in the middle looks like his face has shrunk compared the rest of his head.

    look…. you see what i mean?

    The bottom one looks like he would be too busy to reach around because everytime he pumps into you, he’s looking at himself in a mirror thinking how good he is.

  13. fuck Noa…to hell with the others….the last two are from the LEE family…Home Lee and Ug Lee

  14. The first one Oleo or whatever looks like a pretty boy punk, no, The back up dancer definitely no, Marc Anthony who is not the most attractive guy in the world but is latin like jLo, they share the same culture and that’s a plus, I just think the problem with JLO and Marc is that she is so much more successful than him, but she is less talented, smost of her success is from her looks because she is not really talented. mediocre actress, even more mediocre singer

  15. Can I fuck AND marry Cris Judd, and block the other two? No? Fine, marry Cris, block Marc, fuck Ojani

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