Gay Ass Gossip: Bradley Cooper Needs To Shave

Some of you may have noticed that I covered for Michael K. on DListed over the holidays. It’s like Perez Hilton He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named* except it’s funny. It was an honor. After Manhunt Daily, DListed is my favorite blog to read.  Celebrity-blogging (with a snarky twist) was what I used to get up to before the Daily. I love it here (getting to look at naked guys all day has NOTHING to do with it) but it was a nice jaunt down memory lane. Luckily, every week I get to write “Gay Ass Gossip”, so I indulge in a little bit of Hollywood glamour (meaning I mock celebrities) every week. It’s the best of both worlds.

ITEM – Blind Items make the gossip world go round! Everyone wants to get in Bradley Cooper’s pants. He’s sexy, charismatic, and you know you’ve hit the big-time when tongues wag that you totally like boys and all the ladies you date are via two publicists rustling up a contract. The latest blind item about Bradley is that his super-pretty new gf Zoe Saldana signed on the dotted line.

He’s a big movie star. She’s had one really major role, and is already booked for half a dozen new projects. You probably already know that they are dating. What you may not know are the facts behind the pairing. It’s a public relations set up. She is bisexual. He is gay. In fact, his ex-wife left him because she found him in bed with another guy! But for now, together, these two attractive actors make for crazed paparazzi and great photo ops. Well, that is, at least until their contract expires in a couple of months.

(via Dlisted)

Guess who? Cooper was married to actress Jennifer Esposito in 2006, and they divorced the year after. It’s all just blind speculation, of course. If Bradley IS into the ladies, then these two are going to have some seriously ugly children. Two hots make a fug baby. What – no one reads Popular Science?

– J. Harvey

* Yes, Dewitt edited this out of complete disdain for the individual mentioned.

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ITEM – Dude can rock a suit. That’s NFL player Chad Ochocinco. He’s highly popular in his sport, and engaged to this chick named Evelyn Lozado. Fans of reality television out there (you sad bitches, and yes – I’m one of you) might know her from that highly entertaining piece of trash called Basketball Wives. It’s the show where rich ladies who are either married to/divorced from/fucked a NBA player gather to drink champagne, shop, dish each other at lunch, and fistfight. It’s tremendous. Anyway, Ms. Lozado apparently switched sports but has reportedly put her engagement on pause due to Chad’s dicking around. Ya know, it’s probably better to have a relationship with a pro athlete later on in life, or after he’s through fucking around. Women just THROW their asses at these guys. Why risk the heartache? Honestly, I’m just writing about these two because Basketball Wives cracks me up and Chad’s hot.

(via TMZ)

ITEM – Does anyone else think Liam Neeson is some sexy business? He’s totally underrated. He pops up in about one movie a month, they’re usually pretty entertaining (if not Oscar-caliber), and he just does what he does. I feel bad cuz’ he lost his actress wife Natasha Richardson in a skiing accident a couple of years ago, but he was able to pick up and move on. Good for him, he’s aces. Here’s the trailer for his next flick, The Gray. His plane goes down and he has to fight a pack of wolves with broken nip bottles. Because he’s Liam Neeson, that’s why.