Gay Ass Gossip: Taylor Lautner Might Have Broken Up Kelly Taylor’s Marriage

ITEM – According to ONTD, probable gay Taylor Lautner (don’t gimme that, click this) and “really?” gay Peter Facinelli are rumored to have had downlow-dicked each other on the set of the Twilight movie series. Well, at least SOMETHING exciting was going on because those movies are ponderous. Please keep in mind that this is only a salacious rumor, but it is being proposed as one of the reasons Peter and wife Jennie Garth (“Kelly Taylor” to those of you who loved the original 90210 as much as I did) recently split. There are also reports that Peter was hooking up with some Canadian broad while shooting the glittery vampire flicks in Vancouver.

This would be so hot if it was true. We’d like to salute Taylor for still riding that bologna pony despite the bad dye job up top.

My gaydar gun’s bullets are missing Peter, so I’m doubting this rumor. But it’s so delicious that I want it to be true. And I want Brenda Walsh to be the evil mastermind behind all of this.

– J. Harvey

For more “Gay Ass Gossip“, Follow the JUMP:

ITEM – Many of us have imagined George Clooney in handcuffs. Unfortunately for us he wasn’t sporting a leather jock when he finally tried some legal bracelets on this morning. He wears one of those in my imagination. Or maybe he was – maybe he had one on under his jeans. Kinky bitch! Clooney, along with his dad (even kinkier!), was arrested for protesting outside the Sudanese Embassy in Washington, D.C. earlier today. This was all planned to raise awareness of the crisis in the Sudan. That’s swell of George. This is a serious issue, so I’m leaving the ball-gag out of the fantasy this time.

ITEM – The Silver Fox will not hesitate to school you on Twitter. M.I.A. (the fuckfinger flippin’ chick from this year’s Superbowl half-time show) got on Anderson Cooper’s shit on Twitter. She accused him of slandering her name. This doesn’t sound like The Silver Fox. He’s not a Kardashian or a Real Housewife of Chelsea. Cooper did not hesitste to read her ass, though. Witness:

M.I.A. – @AndersonCooper called me a terrorist for speaking out , and expressed support for the SLgov when this was happening

AC – @miauniverse, you are mistaken. I never called you a terrorist. I don’t even know who you are other than the lady who sang at Super Bowl.

HAH! Anderson Cooper’s library card has not expired, hunty! (I’ve always wanted to type “hunty”.)