ITEM – The Justin Timberlake/Jessica Biel romance is over. He’s kinda dainty and she’s one of those women who are probably really good at things like archery so it had to end sometime. JT doesn’t waste any time, so he forwarded that dick in a box over to Black Swan hotness Mila Kunis. They had that really odd inside joke thing happening during their Oscar presentation that no one understood (or cared about) so something’s up. On a side note, I’m strictly dickly but even I was hot in the pants when Mila was going down on Nat Portman‘s love cellar in Swan. As if I don’t have enough to deal with, let alone bisexuality rearing it’s fickle head. Ugh.
– J. Harvey
For more Gay Ass Gossip, Follow the JUMP:
ITEM – Lower tier celebrity Eddie Cibrian has just been cast as the lead in NBC’s upcoming series Playboy. It’s a drama set in 1963 at Chicago’s infamous Playboy club. Eddie will play a lawyer who’s “the ultimate playboy.” This is kinda fitting, seeing as he’s presently most famous for dumping his wife for squinting country sensation Lee Anne Rimes. Whenever I see the word Playboy, all I can picture is an interview I read with a former Playmate who described how Hef’s bedroom has dog poo and pee all over the floor and that you have to let him take Viagra and stick it in you as part of the deal. So an octogenarian trying to stuff his semi-hard worm in you while the smell of dogshit wafts in the air. Really – it sounds like something out of an Estee Lauder perfume ad.
ITEM – Ohmygod you guys, Taylor Lautner and the rest of the Twilight cast totally survived the tsunami! You can break down and cry out of sweet relief now. As a precaution, they were removed from the Breaking Dawn set in Vancouver. Yeah. That was really a news item. No, it really was – here, here, here and here. I know the 1,000+ Japanese that were killed in the earthquake/tsunami will rest better knowing that Twilight: Breaking Dawn will make it to theaters as scheduled. *eye-roll*
ITEM – This week John Stamos‘ name was bandied about as a possible replacement for crazier than crazy Charlie Sheen on Two And A Half Men. Even my cab driver was talking about this the other day. This was right after he announced his windshield wipers didn’t work ( it was pouring) and he couldn’t make change for me. Totally use Green Cab in Somerville, MA cause they couldn’t be more helpful. But I digress, Uncle Jessie says that he would NEVER try and take Sheen’s place. Because he likes breathing. No, because he thinks Charlie is some sort of comedic treasure. “Charlie is great on that show and people love Charlie on that show and people love the way the show is,” he said. ” I hope it works out and I hope he goes back and people get the show that they love.” Personally, the show is eh so I’m not sure what all the fuss is about. Charlie’s life with the harem and the borderline personality disorder is FAR more entertaining.
Even I would make a Mila her Kunis.
I want to see Uncle Jessie and Justin Timberlake making out. No particular reason, but I would just like to see it. Great column as always Jay.
Yeah, I wouldn’t mind munching on Mila’s kunis, either. New column? “Who would you turn back fo’?”
I love me some Eddie Cibrian!
Did anyone else here ever see his performance in the “coming-out” film “But I’m a Cheerleader”? He is so delightfully gay in that! XD
Oh those comments about the tsunami were is such bad taste, I am disgusted. You guys must be devoid of any compassion whatsoever, shame on you! Come back and tell us how appropriate you think that line was when the real death toll following this disastrous catastrophe is revealed.
Maybe the wingnuts are right that God hates us. There’s gotta be a reason he made Justin Timberlake straight.
Does Justin make music anymore?
Did Justin EVER make music?
I agree with Gray. I figure you guys were trying to be facetious with the comment, but it was really in bad taste.
That pic of Justin is beyong BEAUTIFUL! Never saw the appeal…until now!
that was sarcasm! and i appreciate the point Harvey were making
Yeah, it’s like one day JT suddenly went from bleached-blond boy band member to badass fucking hottie! I agree–his face in that photo is absolutely gorgeous. Maybe even perfect.
John Stamos, would be agreat replacement for Sheen on 2 1/2 men
He is alwsy a great I know it would go well
and he has a great body and looks
yeah it was just sarcasm pointing out the fact that some news outlets are more concerned with the douchebags from twilight than the fact that hundreds died in japan.
and for the record, they’re not filming in vancouver and no one was evacuted from the city. They were in Tofino which is on Vancouver island (not near vancouver). not that it’s a big deal, but ya
That is indeed a hot pic of JT.
dont see why so many queens are so dang gaga over dime-a-dozen-Whimperlake… His skinny, unremarkable ass is soo 1988….sheesh…
Bas taste article. The Japan thing is not something you should make fun of even if it’s used with sarcasm as here… Bad bad…
I am capable of recognising, I am not a dumb fuck! What I am also capable of doing is being able to determine by using my brain whether a comment is really worth making just for the need to highlight so-called celebrity over pandering! I am sure you could of made your point without the sarcasm extending to the dead in Japan. I stated in my original post the death toll is likely to move into the tens of thousands, the sheer horror of what happened deserves considered comment rather than crassness, in my opinion.
I ENJOY READING AND WATCHING ALL THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Calm down. It’s not making fun of the disaster. It’s making fun of our superficial society and the fact it was atually a news item that the Twilight cast is safe.
Bingo!