I was born at night, but not last night. So I know I am going to be receiving several “Go fuck yourself, J. Harvey! – CuteAzzBoi” love letters in the comments section. But seriously – why “boi?” It’s not even that it makes you sound rather femme. Many of us ARE rather femme. And that’s A-OK. It just makes you sound a LITTLE too precious and cutesy for words. Why abandon the “y?” There’s other ways to express your individuality. Pierce something, or perhaps declare your hatred of Darren Criss.
When someone referring to themselves as “boi” hits me up on Manhunt (no, you can’t have my profile name), my mind IMMEDIATELY pictures them as sulky, pouty, high-maintenance, and having difficulty in acting their age.
In the lesbian butch and femme community, some (wait for it) BOYISH lesbians reportedly use that word to describe themselves. But that’s outside of Manhunt’s territory. Here’s the definition as it relates to us gay guys (via Wikipedia):
A (generally) younger guy who prefers older men, and is the “boi” in a “DADDY and boi” dating, relationship, or sexual situation, where “boi” is used to differentiate between someone who is underage, and someone who just identifies as the younger guy who wants or needs an older man. In this context, “boi” can be masculine or effeminate, or anywhere along that spectrum, and some males identify as a “boi” well beyond their 20s, and especially so as long as they are involved with older men. Often, though not always, prefers the submissive role.
The term is still irritating to me, but fair enough.
However, some of the men who are referring to themselves as “bois”? If that definition is accurate, your boyfriend must be 72. *dodges thrown objects*
– J. Harvey
Photo credit: Broke Straight Boys
For some shots of Chad (who could get away with using “boi” as a descriptor despite it being lame), Follow the JUMP:
I’m thankful for the term “boi”/”boy” because, more often than not, it’s a good litmus test for a man’s maturity level.
hey.i loved your blog.just found out 2 months ago im ready to be gay.im going to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time.we are both virgin.so pls tell me the proper way to lube my ass?its not a jke .i really dont have idea
what is the proper way yo lube my ass?
Unless you’re in the medical field, a close up of your ass pulled apart is not a turn on
i have a very mature bf who is 20 years younger than me and we use the term “boy” when fooling around. i agree that changing the spelling is a bit precocious, but if two guys like it, then what’s the big deal? i don’t understand why gay guys have to criticize things they don’t like. i’m sure there are things i could find about mr harvey to criticize, too. but my mature “boy” would probably disapprove such a childish action.
Oh, there’s a TON of stuff about Mr. Harvey to criticize. These posts are just me stating my opinion, they DO NOT represent the opinions of Manhunt or Manhunt Daily as a whole. K?
I agree with J. Harvey. What really gets me are the guys in their late 30’s and into their 40’s that call themselves “boi”. GAG. Get real.
shove the bottle head up your ass and squeeze. 🙂
it’s particularly annoying when used (in ANY context) by guys over 30… like, seriously, get a fuckin’ grip! LOL
I’ve actually usde the term boi in screennames. A few years ago when in high school and coming to terms with my sexuality a few gay/bi guys I knew used it with their online profiles. To me it represented a subtle and “secret” way of announcing my sexuality to those “in the know” but yet still being discreet.
On manhunt, the term “boi” is usually code for slut.
Oh yeah? Says who?
I have a term that I absolutely LOATHE! When gay guys refer to their ass as a pussy or call themselves a pussyboi. OMG it’s absolutely awful!
Why would that turn people on in the medical field?
LOL@Andy; I hear a lot of drag queens or sissies on chatlines refert to their assholes as a pussy or boy pussy. Disgusting….
I can’t stand it! I don’t want anything reminding me of woman parts. Ewwww! And that word just sounds disgusting in the first place!
I just think referring to yourself or someone else as boi makes you sound like a child
LOL
to be fair, doing it when you’re in high school is a little different than doing it when you’re like 40
J Harvey, your etymology of the term is lacking a bit of information and is at least partially incorrect (not considering Wikipedia is the source).
“boi” as a term in the lesbian community did not derive from “boyish” lesbians. Rather, it evolved as the female counterpart to “boy” as “girl” didn’t quite cut it, in the *leather* (ie BDSM) lesbian world. In other words, a “boi” is a female submissive in a lesbian partnership.
Its use for gay men dates back to the early 1990’s when America Online was fast becoming the primary means for gay and lesbian Americans to get online to interact with each other. AOL offered the ability to have member-created chat rooms, separately from the AOL-sponsored ones, and rooms like “Boston M4M” or “Firemen M4M” were popping up regularly. The problem was that rooms like “Leather Dad 4 Boy” set off warning signs with the management of AOL because of concerns that pedophiles were using the chat rooms to pick up underage youth. AOL ended up banning the use of the letters “boy” (in that sequence) in any room name, which also blocked the use of, for instance, “Cowboys M4M”, and for a good while actually blocked the use of those letters in sequence in a profile – so you couldn’t quote “Boy George” and attribute the quote properly, either.
Some users opted for “boi” (which was not blocked) as a way to get around it, and it stuck. Once those people started using the “real” internet, instead of AOTrainingWheels, they carried over this silly construct even though there was no need any longer.
You are correct that its use (outside the lesbian community, where it serves a valid purpose) is silly. Leathermen have always been comfortable using the term “boy” for someone who is, in fact, in that position or role, and the fact that some people may be stupid enough to not succeed in distinguishing between this usage and referring to an underaged male is no reason to adopt a made-up word.
I like that term! It turn older guys on to call me boi.
I’m a an English Nazi, so I despite that term on an entirely different level.
who cares
^This entirely. I blame the internet for running away with our language.
That and mangina!!! UGH!!!!! I agree!
How do you despite a term?
I hate boi and biotch…I’m a man not a “boy” or “bitch” get over yourself.
Fuck You dewitt!
HA, it wasn’t me who wrote this post! I still love you no matter what, Furboi.
Fuck me instead, Furboi.
You mean Wikipedia isn’t totally accurate? *sad face* (Kidding.)
Thanks for this…! This is great. Everyone read this.
Kevin, you should update the Wikipedia entry so pinheads like me don’t keep regurgitating the wrong information.
I agree with you J. Harvey. I’m not a fan of that word/spelling/version/WTF ever. I actually thought that spelling was for lesbians that really focused on their masculine side. It seems like every day someone is bastardizing some spelling on something for their own needs.
i hate when guys call each other girl. No matter how femm you are you will never be a girl. Is not that why you are gay.
So much hate… from all sides. Does it honestly matter on the spelling or how someone chooses to view themselves? This isn’t like the they’re/their/there thing this is a way of folks to express themselves. I thought, and I guess I’ve thought wrong here, that a big of of the gay community was being able to express yourself how YOU felt not about how other people felt you should act/feel. You can choose to not to hang out or relate to to them but don’t hate and loathe them as so many folks here seem to do… tho I guess that’s all over the internet, not just the gay community.
It’s entitled “Terms we hate”, not “People we hate”….. Huge difference.
I disregard profiles with the word boi in them, as well as messages that call me a boi.
I totally agree with you on this one. I am a man who fucks men. Not a girl by any stretch of the imagination. Wouldn’t want to be one. I hate it as well when someone tries to call me that.
well, J Harvey, this is kind of judgmental. You don’t have to like the term, but if a guy chooses to use that to identify himself, who are you to comment? Terms like this don’t make people take the queer community less seriously, because those people already don’t take the queer community seriously. I think constantly putting up pictures of unrealistic muscle gods and bareback sex as images of queer culture does more damage than the word “boi” ever would.
While I agree that spelling “boi” instead of “boy” is rather annoying, I have to admit that I am kind of surprised by the definition of that from Wikipedia…I never knew it was used in that context!
This is rediculous! I mean if you put this in a time capsule and hundreds of years later, someone will find it and read what it says and the will be scratching their head and think, “Geez, these idiots don’t know how to use letters in proper word structure.” I feel anyone who can not spell right or text stupid letters on their mobile device, are just plain dumb. Like Judge Judy says, “Beauty fades but dumb is forever.” I cannot agree more.