My dick would spontaneously combust if Dale Cooper walked into my kitchen with a full beard, wearing nothing but a pair of tighty whities and casually sipping from a glass of red wine. If he then proceeded to bend me over the counter, pull down the back of my underwear and shove his tongue up my butt, I’m relatively certain that my dick would rise like a phoenix from the ashes of spontaneous combustion (and, well, rise in general) to appreciate his ass-eating technique.
Honestly, he wouldn’t even need to follow the golden “lick it before you stick it” rule, because my hole would be ready to get slammed from merely looking at him… But, um, I’m not going to turn down the opportunity to feel his whiskers brushing against my taint. He could stay down there all day if he wants to, munching away ’til we both blow our loads.
Oh yeah! And Felix Warner is in this scene too.
– Dewitt
Photo credit: Guys In Sweatpants
Watch Dale Cooper being the sexiest human being alive today below:
Watch Dale work his mysterious dick magic on GUYS IN SWEATPANTS.
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I think my dick would spontaneously combust if a fully clothed Dale Cooper walked into my kitchen period. I wonder if this robustly vocally hypnotizing demi-god likes bears? I’m on Manhunt Dale Cooper. lol
Fuck, I want his babies, and I’m a top!
Dewitt, I’ve never agreed with a post of yours more fervently…and I’m regularly in accord with you. Having Dale Cooper inside me is a demand that is unrequited to the point I nearly feel pain for the lack of never having known it.
I’m pretty sure though that if I ever did get to get on that, I’d need to have it for the rest of my life. As the memory would be maddening.
hyperbolic porn crushes are fun.
The name of that website still confuses and amuses the hell out of me. Were they so desperate for names that they had to go with that? I guess one of them must wear the obligatory sweatpants at some point…but it would be ashamed to cover either of them up.
Nice kitchen. I’d put in a backsplash though…especially if I’m planning to hookup on the counters.
Everything about Dale Cooper is absolute perfection GORGEOUS face , body and that ASS is a TRUE TOP dream CUM true !!!
There is a kitchen in this video? O.o