Gleek Out: Duets

Better late than never, eh? If you were disappointed by the absence of our recurring Gleek Out feature, rest assured that I’ll catch you up on what you missed! On this week’s episode, the incredibly beautiful Chord Overstreet reprised his role as football jock Sam Evans. He also appeared in very little clothing, on multiple occasions…

But don’t get too distracted by that thought! We haven’t even begun to talk about the plot. As the name of the episode might imply, the members of New Directions were prompted by Schuester to perform duets, as he engaged them in a friendly competition. The ultimate prize? Dinner for two at Breadsticks, a local restaurant that’s “legally required to never stop bringing you breadsticks”.

Honestly, I’d say this is one of my favorite episodes in a long time. People may give me shit for saying that–especially after dissing last week’s tearjerking “Grilled Cheesus”–but you can deepthroat my fat cock if you don’t like it. And I mean that in the nicest, sexiest way possible.

The best part about “Duets”? It indicated the show still has balls, and the writers will continue to push the envelope. Some have argued the reference to “scissoring” may have been too much for a family program, but let’s be honest–no one who hasn’t gone through puberty should be watching this shit. It’s a show for adults and young adults. And it’s a show that has potential to be good, when it’s not so worried about manipulating its audience. Thumbs way up! Now, who’s excited about the Rocky Horror episode?

– Dewitt

To watch the episode, hear the songs and read more, follow the JUMP:

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FULL EPISODE:

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IN TWO WEEKS:

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Don’t Go Breaking My Heart (Lea Michele & Cory Monteith): Upon rehearsing with Finn for the duets competition, Rachel begins to feel guilty for her selfish ways. The adorable couple comes to the conclusion that they must throw the competition, in an effort to welcome Sam to the club. Of course–as Finn points out–there are ulterior motives behind all of this. Having Sam as a member of New Directions will increase their chances of winning nationals, which benefits Rachel in the end…

I’ve been criticized for bashing Cory in the past, but I’m going to be entirely honest with you. This was the least annoying he’s been in a long time, considering that he wasn’t rapping or ruining a classic rock masterpiece. With no disrespect to Elton John and Kiki Dee, “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” is one cheesy-ass song. Therefore, it would have been difficult for these two to destroy it. (3.5 Points)

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River Deep, Mountain High (Amber Riley & Naya Rivera): Santana is obsessed with Breadsticks, and she’s turned off by Brittany’s clinginess. She enlists Mercedes to help her win the competition and become the “undisputed top bitches” of McKinley High, opting to perform this classic tune by Ike and Tina Turner.

These two previously collaborated on “The Boy Is Mine”, and the results were pure magic. Were they able to do it again? Hell fucking yes. As one might suspect, Amber Riley’s vocal performance was extraordinary. Her costar Naya Rivera pulled her weight too, though it’s suspicious whether she had a little help from Mr. AutoTune. Then again, this wasn’t just about the singing! The choreography on this number was downright hilarious, and I’m bumping its score as a result. (4 Points)

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Le Jazz Hot (Chris Colfer): Kurt immediately pounces on the chance to perform with Sam. This doesn’t bode well with Finn, especially given their “faggy” past with one another. Surprisingly, Burt Hummel comes down in support of Finn, finally recognizing that Kurt wasn’t entirely innocent in the whole situation. He encourages his son to embrace his independence, until he finds someone who is as open and brave as he is.

After all the criticism, Kurt releases Sam as his duet partner, making the decision to perform alone. With the help of the Cheerios, he pays tribute to Julie Andrews with this musical number from Victor/Victoria. Do I even need to tell you that this was awesome? Duh, it’s Chris Colfer. (4 Points)

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Sing (Harry Shum Jr. & Jenna Ushkowitz): Tina wants to win the contest so she can go on a “normal” date with Mike Chang. Up until now, the majority of their dates consisted of dim sum with Mike’s mother. All she wants is a normal salad that doesn’t have chicken feet in it. That’s all she wants.

Hence begins the musical debut of Harry Shum Jr. Thankfully, they don’t even try to pretend that he can sing. He’s thrown into a song from A Chorus Line that’s specifically about his vocal inability, and it’s taken to the next level by some mind-blowing dance moves. Oh, and did we mention that he’s sexy as fuck? (5 Points)

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With You I’m Born Again (Lea Michele & Cory Monteith): To manipulate the results of the competition, Finn and Rachel realize they must make their performance totally offensive. They dress as a nun and a priest, opting to perform this duet by Syreeta Wright and Billy Preston.

This was supposed to be wrong. In case you didn’t realize, Mercedes and the rest of the group tell you that it’s wrong. But did anyone else think it could have been worse? Should we even bother giving this a score? It was what it was. (2.5 Points)

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Lucky (Diana Agron & Chord Overstreet): After Sam is released as Kurt’s duet partner, he winds up pairing with Quinn. Bad flirting ensues, complete with reference to Avatar. Quinn isn’t having it. But then she is having it. Wait, is Sam not playing for our team? Or is he just confused about his sexuality. He did go to an all boys’ school…

During this performance, Santana makes some comment about how these two are so “charming”. Maybe it’s my hatred of this Jason Mraz and Colby Caillat duet, but I don’t understand how two pretty white people singing together immediately equals “charming”. Needless to say, this is the best we’ve ever seen from Diana Agron. Eat yo’ breadsticks, gurl! (3 Points)

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Happy Days Are Here Again / Get Happy (Chris Colfer & Lea Michele): Once the competition has come to an end, Rachel offers to perform a duet with Kurt. She knows what it’s like to feel lonely, and blah blah blah… Do they really need an excuse to pair two of the show’s most talented singers?

It’s amazing that they’ve waited so long to put these two together. Their character’s musical tastes are practically the same, and it’s clear that their voices blend well with one another. More of this, please? They could sing Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi”, and it’d still sound good. (4 Points)

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BREAKDOWN OF POINTS SYSTEM:

• 5 Points = Excellent or exceeding expectations in regards to vocal performance, choreography and arrangement. Fits well within the context of the episode, and potentially better than the original version.
• 4 Points = Not too shabby! May not be entirely on par with the original, but a fantastic effort by the actors and vocalists.
• 3 Points = Tolerable. Did not induce eye rolls or kept them to a minimum.
• 2 Points = Could be a variety of factors, including poor song choice or lackluster performance. Boring or uninspired. May be an insult to the original artist.
• 1 Point = Absolutely painful. Couldn’t wait for it to be over.

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ALSO…

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