Hypothetical scenario. You hook up with a guy through Manhunt. The sex is beyond spectacular, so you reach a mutual decision to exchange e-mails and plan another sweaty rendezvous. No strings attached. Once he’s out the door, you fall asleep in your bed, worn out from all the hours of orgasmic sucking and fucking.
Fast-forward to the next morning. You roll out of bed, rub your eyes and move over to your computer (or phone, if you’re all technological and whatnot). You’re expecting an important e-mail from a friend or co-worker, and you make it a priority to check your inbox immediately. Then you notice the very first message…
The man whose dick was up your butt (or vice-versa) sent you a friend request on Facebook. Not too long ago, you didn’t even know one another’s names. Suddenly, he wants to play Farmville and Mafia Wars with you. He wants to join a long list of friends, including but not limited to your mother, your boss and your best friend from elementary school.
Um, why? He doesn’t actually know you. At this point, your relationship is purely physical, perhaps with a single inside-joke or two. Has he crossed a certain line? Or could you really not care any less, and you just accept his friend request? We’d love to hear your opinion on this matter! If you have a moment, weigh in with your thoughts, experiences and tales of horror in the comments section.
– Dewitt
Photo credit: Men Hard At Work
To check out Tucker Scott and Jeremy Bilding getting “friendly”, follow the JUMP:
lol. I guess if you’re a big ho who only wants to hit it and forget it, then a guy doing this would be making a huge error. Otherwise what would be the harm, could lead to more fun times.
Fbook is not a fb.. keep it out of your sex life.. no one really knows the far reaching “exposure” of Fb.. don’t risk it.. unless you are total voyeur or exhibitionist.. it will come back to bite ya and not in a good way!
If you guys are just fuck buds there is no need to friend each other on FB because that could lead to some stalking.
Yeah, that’s happened to me a couple times. I hooked up with this one dude on MH, he seemed cute, we fucked and I thought that was it. He later turned out to be a raging stalker nutjob. I didn’t know that until after the FB friend add, so after we had a bit of an argument (he chased me down the street at 2:30 in the morning in nothing but his undies because i felt creeped out & left. Then he left all sorts of weird messages on my wall. Never again.
Haha I always check for a facebook before I hook up with a guy. Nice to know he isn’t married/a father/crazy before I do anything with him. A Manhunt profile (And what you decide to post on it) say a lot about a person, but Facebook says a lot more if you actually use the thing. “Straight-acting” gays aren’t fb fans of Justin Beiber, etc. good to see what he likes so there’s some common ground. It may be kind of sketchy, but so is meeting guys from the internet (especially when you’re 19 and wondering why 30 y.o. guys who are out need the internet to get laid).
In the beginning facebook was something I used to discuss and post many things I would not want some friends to see let alone all of my family. Now it is so huge and famous I have over 70 members of my family (they are Irish and Catholic…they just can’t help it) as friends on facebook. The hell I would want a booty call to have access to all of that. Funny enough someone I was attempting to hookup with online just last night asked for my facebook and immediately halted hookup plans when I politely said “hell to the no.” I think I dodged a bullet on that one because wanting that sort of immediate access to someone’s life for a booty call is just crazy and out of touch to me.
It’s an exhibition of attachment. They’re either moderately attracted to you, and now questioning your authenticity, hoping to satisfy their personal curiosities outside of bed (what do you do with your life, will you make a good partner, do you get around?) or they’re missing a few social filters about appropriate behavior, and they legitimately consider themselves your friend now. My guess would be latter, as the nature of the website is to promote an effective means of streamlining to the bedroom without the need for normal social interaction. Smart men understand this, which is why you’re confused about the friend request. He, obviously, is in desperate need of social interaction.
An online friend request is a disgrace, whoever it’s coming from. Honestly! What is this all about? I’m totally pro-web and really enjoy the whole range of possibilities. But come on, the whole online socializing thing is beyond ridiculous. In other words, NO to facebook but YES to fuckbook!
I don’t friend them unless some form of friendship was made.. but I do throw their e-mail in the search to see if they are who they say they are. Sometime people will give you old ass pictures instead of current ones.
umm yeah i would not want a booty call to add me on fb.
Ill admit and say i do check guys on on fb when they give me an email. I only check it to see if these guys are legit and dont seem crazy. But only thing is idk why you would link your mh email to your FB…cuz you can easily find out alot about a person on there….if they ask if i ahve on i tell em yeah but i usually dont add guys on mh unless we become actual friends after a while
99% of FB friends are not your friend and you dont know them at all.
So how is this an issue.
NEVER add your boss, NEVER add your work colleagues
NEVER add your MUM
fucks are absolutely fine on there though…
All of you guys should check out DList. I think it’s related to Manhunt too. But it’s like Facebook but your mom and shit aren’t on it. This is where you should connect with your hookups!
This happened to me once and it was STALKER CITY … so I immediately created a yahoo email not linked to anything on my Facebook, so even if they look they won’t find anything.
Now, if a friendship with benefits situation strikes, after I’ve known the guy and we’ve hooked up, hung out and they’re not some sort of psycho from the planet Mongo … then I have no problem with it.
Something similar happened to me recently. Some guy contacted me and wanted to hook up. He seemed like my type so I told him ok but let’s chat about what we’re both into. He then asks me for my FB and adds me.
I get to talking to him more and quickly realize that he isn’t my type at all. Apparently, he likes to ‘force’ guys to do things (like bareback). Uh…yeah I’ll pass. I tell him this and his first reaction is to go write a bunch of crap on my wall.
I just deleted FB after that. I could have removed+blocked him but it’s creepy enough that he knows my name now. My mobile number was also displayed so you can also guess that he decided to spam my inbox with crude messages.
FB+hooking up = big no
This is a coincidence, I’d never sent a friend request to a one-nighter until last night – then I see this MH Daily today. I hooked up with a guy more than a year ago from my old gym. Had possibly the best sex I’ve had in years and gave him a hands-free orgasm while I was fucking him. He said it was a first for him and I can’t remember ever having one or giving one before. As I’ve changed gyms I haven’t seen him but he came up as a friend suggestion so I guess I’ll wait and see whether he accepts and we get to relive that experience.
I’ve never had that happen to me, but I would think that a fuck buddy does not need to find his way to facebook.
Is it wrong to facebook them before they come over? I dont add them as a friend or anything, but I do like to know what they look like in normal life, not just when they are trying to impress
and any information someone may find about you on facebook im sure can also be found if one was to just google your name.
I don’t do Facebook.
But, how can I become a document/summons server ! 😉
I don’t understand what the problem is. It’s happened to me quite a few times, either because we actually have several “friends” in common in the real world. That’s what Facebook friend filters are for, so you only share certain things with certain groups. Com’n!
You can remove his wall post, block him, report him to FB for inappropriate comments, then make your FB page visible again. That happened to me as well, his IP Address was blocked by FB AND I took a hard copy to the local Police Dept where it’s documented. They don’t care, but at least there’s a paper trail documenting his “threats.”
It’s something I wouldn’t consider at all…it would rank high on my “odd and awkward” scale.
I always check facebook first, as for the not wanting people to see things, that’s what lists were made for.
Oh!! That’s good news. I had no clue they took it so seriously.
Thank you for the information. =)
A bunch of guys I fuck around with at school are FB friends with me and it’s pretty chill. They are the only ones I really poke haha.
But once when I was backpacking in India, I stopped in Delhi for one week. I met this cute guy at a bar and we hit it off and had an amazing night/morning. He friended me.
He wrote all over my wall about what an AMAZING time he had. He commented on EVERY single one of my profile pictures. And he tagged me in his status messages. He keeps messaging me to this day.
I felt bad, but I had to delete all that bullshit. I’m not completely out and all that random FB pda really made me cringe.
I found out later he was a virgin – and he was waiting for the right guy – and I happened to be him. It was awkward.
if you even recognise half the people on your facebook friends in the street it would be an astonishing miracle. facebook is just a slightly sanitised version of gaydar or manhunt, and really we all just use it for storing our holiday photos so we dont lose them if our pc crashes
i was seeing this guy for sex but than i started to want to know more about him so we accepred eachother as friends on facebook and we hooked up many more times than in november of last year he just stops talking to me like avoiding me i than find out hes seeing another guy and i was hurt cause throughout my time with him (over 8 months) ive told him i wanted to date not just sex and he wasnt looking for anything but all of the sudden he is now looking and with another guy besides me? hes a very faithful guy to his boy ive even tried getting him to see me again but he doesnt want to cheat and i respect that now. he also deleted many of his friends on facebook cause the gays were causing too much drama in his life but not me he still considers me a friend however i havent seen him in person since november i want to just see him now i dont even want sex since he has a boyfriend i just really hope i can stay friends with him he is a really cool guy he makes me feel good emotionally
Use the facebook filters to lock everything up just as tight as you want. I let NO one I haven’t known for years have access to anything I have on facebook. I give no address, data, etc to anyone. I absolutely refuse to use facebook to fill in for a social life, I already a very good one, thank you!
I have 2 facebooks…the real one and the slutty one….everyone should take the time to do that and have it just in case to see how the guy looks in real life…not just the perfect best angle pics he posted on his mh profile….
I do not use FaceBook and NEVER will. I just have this crazy notion that if there is something that is so amazing and people the world over are just obsessed with…there must not be much to it.
PS I also hate the fact that a 20-something is a billionaire over this mess.
PS btw…did yall see that HORRIBLE pic of him they plasterd on TIME magazine??!! If I were him I would have spent a few million buying up all those issues so nobody could see it.
actually, de first thing I do when I get a guy’s e-mail is run it trough facebook. It isn’t like somebody is checking every single friend of mine to see what’s my reltionship with them, ad it gives you a fair look at who your’e dealing with. I mean, really. Who actually checks you facebook activity thoroughly enough to question who is that guy you just added and find out it’s a hook-up(beside stalkers, of course)? so yeah, I’d totally add them
I think there should probably be a nice clear line between friend and fuckbuddy. I share all sorts of things about my personal life on Facebook because I know it is my actual friends who’ll be seeing it (including my partner). I don’t really want someone who is more at the “trick” level or casual fuckbuddy making comments on there. We all have to set and maintain our own boundaries otherwise we get all sorts of things happening to us that we really don’t want (as can be witnessed by some of the above comments).
I think it is strange to get into bed and lock your body into someone else whom you haven’t gotten to know well enough to see if they are crazy or not. I’m not an angel, but part of safe sex is choosing your partners wisely. Also, it is mental illness to compartmentalize sexuality into something secret and different from other parts of your regular life! That is what gay guys had to do for survival years ago, but our culture isn’t like that anymore.
A couple of times? Didn’t learn the first.
It’s interesting the number of people who knowingly or unknowingly engaging in stocking behavior. What’s missing is is respect for the person your going to hook-up with. If you feel the need to check their face book page, something is seriously wrong. If they show up and not what they say, just say “Sorry, but not tonight.” Or, “Sorry your nothing like your picture.”
Also learn to use the pirvicy action on your account.
As far as your trick wanting to be your friend on your facebook. Is he a trick, fb, or you hoping for more?
When I first started hooking up with guys online (and still in the closet), I wouldn’t do anything until I had found a facebook page or some evidence of them having a real life online. It helps living in a college town too so half the time I could search on the university phone book and find out just how honest they were being. Now nearly everyone I talk to on dList regularly becomes a facebook friend, but bootycalls stay bootycalls
This us very hit, the guy getting fucked has great feet toes … Love to suck in them
if it’s a guy i plan to see a lot of times then i add him up on FB as well.
lolol. this happened tonight. not gonna happen, im married LOL
Gave up on Facebook last year, when I picked up two stalkers. One was an ultra fat 40 year old woman and one was a 14 year old kid. THEN…I heard on T.V. that Facebook was being accused of selling email address. Don’t know if that was true, but my spam box had been over flowing. Killed my account with Facebook. Actually…have not missed it…biggest time waster in the world. I know that others will not agree with me…and that’s cool. Just not for me.
They consider Jeremy Bilding as gay “parasite” cuz this guy never bottom. In fact he claimed his anus is extremely ticklish. Aint that awesome! LMAO!
on two accounts. rejected both.
My booty call and I ended up becoming really good friends, and I don’t even have facebook. We’ve been booty calling each other for about 2.5 years now. I know where he works, how much he makes, what he does in his spare time and vice versa. Neither of us intended for it to unfold the way it did, but it did. So much to the point that it currently is a mental strain for both of us. (he has a girlfriend)
Moral of the story: DO NOT BECOME FRIENDS WITH A BOOTY CALL